AITA for refusing to split my inheritance evenly with my brother, morally speaking?

In a quiet moment of joy, a man’s unexpected inheritance from a long-lost aunt—a house and a hefty bank account—turned sour when his brother demanded an equal share. Splitting the cash felt fair, but refusing to sell the house to divide its value unleashed a storm of accusations, with greed and fairness clashing like thunder. The brother’s wild lifestyle and past reliance on financial help only deepened the rift, leaving family ties strained.

This Reddit saga spins a tale of fortune and friction, where a windfall meant to secure a future instead tests sibling bonds. The man’s decision to keep the house, legally his, stirs moral questions about what’s owed to family. With emotions raw and principles at odds, this story pulls readers into a drama of loyalty, legacy, and tough choices.

‘AITA for refusing to split my inheritance evenly with my brother, morally speaking?’

Throwback because some of my friends are on Reddit as well. Last year, I (30 M) received news that an aunt whom I had never known existed, had passed away. She left me her house and a fairly large sum of money in her bank account.

ADVERTISEMENT

In her will she wrote that she and my late father, her only sibling, had stopped keeping in touch with each other over a ‘family dispute’ years ago before I was born. But she knew that my father had a son (me) before she moved away to another city. She never had children herself.

Anyway, my wife and I were beyond ecstatic about it. We decided to put the house up for rent. We wanted to handle this financial windfall wisely. On the other hand, when my brother (29 M) found out about it, he became really upset.

He reasoned that since aunt had moved away before he was born, she had never known that I had a brother, thus deciding I was the only one to whom she would bequeath her possessions. He demanded I split the money with him.

Here’s the thing. History repeats itself. Growing up, my brother and I never got along well. He takes pride in his sense of freedom being wild and a troublemaker, partying hard, smoking weeds, going to rock concerts, spending weeks and even months traveling the world, never settling down in one place for too long.

ADVERTISEMENT

I, on the other hand, am a very organized person. I have a stable job which I love. My wife is 5 months pregnant and I can’t be happier. So excited to be a father. Nevertheless, in a way I think my brother’s right. Aunt would have split the money between us if she had known that my father had another son.

I didn’t want to repeat my father and aunt’s mistakes, so I split the money from her bank account evenly with him. But it wasn’t enough for him. He insists that I sell the house as well and split the money from its sale. Only then it would be *fair*, according to him.

I refused. I told him no. The house and money are legally mine. It was my name written on aunt’s will. My name only. I can’t change the past. It’s not my fault that aunt had never known he existed. He became furious. He asked how I would feel if I were him.

ADVERTISEMENT

He accused me of being greedy, money-hungry, avaricious, everything, you name it. He even threatened to bring the case to court. But I stood my ground. Nowadays, I have started to feel kind of bad about the whole situation.

Ignoring the fact that legally the house and the money are mine, maybe he is entitled to 50% of the house? Maybe selling it and splitting the money from its sale is the right thing to do? Morally speaking, Am I The A**hole for refusing to sell the house and split the money from its sale with my brother?.

ADVERTISEMENT

UPDATE: Whoaaaa didn’t expect this to blow up like this. Anyway, thanks everyone. Sorry for not responding quickly because time difference is a pain in the ass. I think there are some things that I need to get straightened out.

To those who say that I am being rather judgmental towards my brother because he *‘takes pride in his sense of freedom being wild and a troublemaker, partying hard, smoking weeds, going to rock concerts, spending weeks and even months traveling the world, never settling down in one place for too long'*

ADVERTISEMENT

I have to admit maybe yeah I was being rather judgmental a bit. But I’ve never had any problem with that. It’s his life. He can do whatever he wants to do. The only problem I have with it is the fact that because of his lifestyle, he always keeps running out of money.

He doesn’t even have a permanent place to stay. And I am the only one he turns to whenever he has to deal with financial problems. I mean as his brother, I tried my best to help him and to always be there for him whenever he needed me.

ADVERTISEMENT

But then I got married. And my priority changed. But he stays the same. Still parties, travels a lot, smokes weeds, etc, which I find a bit irresponsible considering the fact that he doesn’t even have a stable job and only relies on me to help him and oftentimes support him financially.

I have tried many times to knock some sense into him, to no avail. He can party hard, travel, go to as many rock concerts as possible, smoke as much weed as he can, he is free to do whatever he wants. But I have a family of my own to take care of now. I won’t always be there to get him out of trouble.

ADVERTISEMENT

I have some reasons why I refused to sell the house and opted to put it up for rent instead. I’m saving it for later. Don’t get me wrong. I love my brother despite our differences. But he’s not the most reasonable person on Earth.

He’s been spending the money I gave him partying and traveling again obviously. If I sold the house, and split the money from the sale, he would just do the same things over and over again. And by the time he has no money left, it’s predictable what he would do.

ADVERTISEMENT

Inheriting a windfall can feel like a blessing, but when it’s uneven, it stirs family tempests. The man’s choice to split his aunt’s cash with his brother but keep the house, legally willed to him, reflects a practical stance rooted in responsibility for his growing family. His brother’s demand for half the house’s value, driven by a belief in fairness, overlooks the legal reality and their strained history, marked by his reckless spending.

Inheritance disputes often unearth deeper family tensions. The brother’s free-spirited lifestyle and reliance on financial bailouts contrast with the man’s stability, framing the house as a safeguard for his future child, not a shared asset. His decision to share the money shows generosity, but his refusal to sell the house aligns with his duty to secure his family’s stability, especially given his brother’s financial irresponsibility.

ADVERTISEMENT

Dr. Pauline Boss, a family dynamics expert, notes, “Fairness in families isn’t always equal; it’s about balancing intent with context.” The aunt’s will, naming only the man, was shaped by her limited knowledge, not a judgment on his brother. Morally, splitting the cash was a fair gesture, but selling the house to appease a sibling with a history of instability risks his own family’s future.

To resolve this, the man could offer a compromise, like sharing rental income, as some suggested, to acknowledge his brother without sacrificing the asset. Open dialogue about their differing values might ease tensions. This story highlights the delicate balance of honoring family ties while protecting personal responsibilities, urging care in navigating inherited wealth.

ADVERTISEMENT

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit users were divided, with some backing the man for keeping the house, arguing it’s legally his and his brother’s greed doesn’t justify a claim on an unexpected gift. Others called him out morally, noting that his aunt likely would’ve split everything if she’d known about his brother, making the refusal to share the house’s value unfair.

The split opinions reflect the tension between legal rights and moral fairness. Many saw the brother’s lifestyle as irrelevant, while others felt the man’s generosity with the cash was enough, given his brother’s history of financial dependence. The debate underscores how inheritance can strain even fragile sibling bonds.

[Reddit User] - YTA. First, did you really post that he smokes the weeds and attends rock concerts? Holy judgmental and pretentious.... While legally the money may belong to you, morally, what you’re doing is fucked up.

whereugetcottoncandy - NTA.. Someone neither of you knew gave *you* a windfall because she happened to know *you* existed. Here's the thing. *Neither* of you 'deserve' anything from your Aunt. Neither of you are entitled to anything from her.. You kept the object you were given and you split the liquid assets with your brother. That was nice..

ADVERTISEMENT

Now he's just being greedy. Over something neither of you expected or 'deserve'. His brother got something nice that no one was expecting. And he felt he *deserved* half just for existing. And you split the easily split half with him.

If *this* is what causes him to break up the sibling relationship, if he's willing to sue you for 'exactly half' of a gift you got that neither of you were entitled to or deserve, the money won't fix the problems with the relationship.

ADVERTISEMENT

Tomato_Tomat0 - YTA. I think. I understand why you wouldn’t want to share the house, but I do think morally your brother is entitled to half. Your aunt wanted her brothers kid(s) to inherit. You yourself believe she would have split it between the two of you if she had known about it.

So, how is it fair for one of you to be getting more than the other? I don’t think it is. Also, you talking about your different lifestyles (and trying to paint a picture of your brother as someone not as “deserving” as you because he is more reckless), really isn’t all that relevant.

ADVERTISEMENT

It was your aunts assets, and had she known about your brother, she would have (to the best of your knowledge) wanted those assets split (likely equally) between the two of you. The house is also an asset. All that being said, I get it, I completely get why it feels incredibly hard to do what is fair.

You probably feel like you already “sacrificed” enough by giving him half the money. But despite how it feels, I don’t think you have given him a “fair” share. Maybe you can come up with a payment plan where you keep the house

ADVERTISEMENT

but give him half the market value (at the time of inheritance) in small enough increments that your personal finances can handle it. That way he eventually gets his share, and you don’t end up forced to sell a property you might want to keep.

CriticalShaft - OK, well legally you would win in court. The house belongs to you. He has no right to sell it at all. YTA morally. He deserves it just as much as you do

ADVERTISEMENT

[Reddit User] - YTA morally speaking but also for the “I’m a stand up guy and my brother goes to concerts so he’s useless” mentality lmao

uhno28 - YTA and the pretentious paragraph about you being a perfect goodie two shoes as opposed to your -gasp- weed smoking, concert goer brother, is still not gonna sway us into thinking that the money is morally yours.

ADVERTISEMENT

Yes you are being greedy! So far the only reason you are using for holding on to is the legal one, which happen to be a technicality that favored you. And you are trying to sway the moral verdict by saying how perfect you are. But honestly, half a bank account and half a house on an unexpected windfall should be more than enough to feed your greedy ass.

Give your brother what's **morally** his and try to be a better person for your child. God I just thought... what if your kid turns out to be mildly rebellious? wonder if you'll threaten to withhold his inheritance until he 'gets his life together' and fits into your mold.

ADVERTISEMENT

FallenAngelII - Info: Here’s the thing. History repeats itself. Growing up, my brother and I never got along well. He takes pride in his sense of freedom being wild and a troublemaker, partying hard, smoking weeds, going to rock concerts, spending weeks and even months traveling the world, never settling down in one place for too long.

I, on the other hand, am a very organized person. I have a stable job which I love. My wife is 5 months pregnant and I can’t be happier. So excited to be a father.. What in the world does this have to do with anything? YTA morally, 100%. You don't need to sell the house, have it evaluated for market value and give your brother half that from the inheritance.

ADVERTISEMENT

jaccorubens - 100% YTA, taking advantage of your aunt's ignorance for your own financial gain. Split the rent income with him, you don't have to sell it if you don't want to.

elforn01 - NTA. Yes, it was a windfall - but like other windfalls (eg lottery), the spoils fall where they lay. There are a lot of things in life which are inherently unfair, but that doesn't create a moral obligation on a recipient. I would have said No Assholes Here as he is allowed to ask, and you are allowed to say no.

ADVERTISEMENT

Except your reasonable 'no' was met with a torrent of abuse. He used the money you gifted? Don't throw good money after bad. I'd be keeping good accounting records for the house though - if he tones down at some point, it would be honourable to share. Until then, NTA.

Fauzyb125 - Morally, you already know YTA. You said it yourself, if your aunt had known about your brother everything would have been split.

This tale of an inheritance gone divisive shows how money can fracture family ties when fairness is debated. The man’s choice to keep the house protects his future, but his brother’s hurt raises questions about moral obligations. A compromise, like sharing rent, might bridge the gap. How would you weigh legal rights against family fairness? Share your thoughts below—let’s keep this heartfelt debate alive!

Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *