Aita for calling my mom out for how differently she treats me and my brother?

In a football-crazed household, a 14-year-old girl’s voice got lost in the cheers for her star athlete brother. When her parents planned to uproot the family for his college—without a thought for her soccer dreams—she finally snapped, calling them out for years of neglect. Her outburst left the family reeling, with her brother caught in the crossfire.

This Reddit story dives into the sting of favoritism and the fight to be seen. Was her confrontation a brave stand, or did it unfairly target her parents’ support for her brother? Let’s explore this family fumble.

‘Aita for calling my mom out for how differently she treats me and my brother?’

My brother(18m) is the star football player for our high school team. He was named one of Arizona’s top high school football players. He’s a senior and last summer got into his dream school on a football scholarship. All his life his dream was to play D1 football in college and he achieved that and I’m so proud of him and all he has achieved.

However this college is across the country. He is my parents pride and joy and in our house we eat, sleep, and breathe football. My parents made so many sacrifices for him to play Including moving to another city cuz our previous cities hs team wasn’t as good as our current one.

My parents have always put him first and I (14f) have just gotten used to it to a point. I accepted they will always care about his football more then they’ll ever care about anything I do and I’m not even mad because he’s an incredible player and person who makes me proud to be his sister.

My parents however forget I exist sometimes, They’ve only to maybe a handful of my soccer games (I’ve played since I was 6) they claimed cuz it always clashed with his FB games and I always got annoyed that they could never even miss one to come see me (including when I went to state) they even skipped my cousins wedding cuz he had a game that day.

I recently saw my mom looking at houses near his college. When I asked her why she was doing that she said my father and her were going up there to look at houses cuz we were gonna move up there with him. I got furious cuz they already decided this was a happening and it was the first I was hearing of it.

I told them they’re forgetting they have another child and that I still have high school here and my soccer team is here and she said “that doesn’t matter you can play up in Massachusetts when we move” implying my sport doesn’t matter as much as his. I said she needs to stop being so obsessed with my brother and learn how to parent better cuz she clearly doesn’t give a crap about me.

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She called me ungrateful and said I should be happy for him. I stormed out and have been staying at a friends since the fight. My brother called and texted me a few times asking me to come home or at least tell him I’m ok. I feel bad cuz he is the collateral damage in this between me and my parents and it’s not his fault but I’m so sick of just letting it go and them forgetting about me.

Favoritism can cast a long shadow in families, and this teen’s outburst highlights its toll. Her parents’ focus on her brother’s football career—skipping her soccer games and planning a cross-country move—left her feeling invisible. Their dismissal of her sport as secondary only deepened the hurt, fueling her confrontation.

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Dr. Ellen Weber Libby, a family therapist, notes, “When parents overly invest in one child’s achievements, others can feel devalued, leading to resentment.” A 2021 study from the Journal of Family Psychology found 65% of siblings in high-achieving families report feeling overlooked, often impacting self-esteem. The parents’ plan to follow the brother to college also raises questions about over-involvement.

This reflects broader issues of parental balance. Dr. Libby advises, “Acknowledge each child’s passions equally—shared family goals shouldn’t erase individual needs.” The teen could benefit from a family discussion to set boundaries, ensuring her soccer and schooling are prioritized too.

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See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit’s voices rallied with empathy and outrage. Here’s what they had to say:

 

EddaValkyrie - Wow, as someone with an older brother that went into professional soccer and another who got into D1 football with a scholarship, NTA x1000, my parents never let my brother's sports interfere with my life like that

OG_Ropey - Not only are you NTA, I can guarantee a D1 college football player has absolutely NO desire to have his mother minutes away. I think you could enlist him in putting the kabosh on this whole move thing. Also, how freaking creepy is that? He is an adult and they need to think about what the rest of their lives will look like after the kids are gone.

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[Reddit User] - Nta- your pants suck. 100% it doesnt matter is your brother is the best fb player in the universe the obvious favoritism makes me want to vomit. And why do they want to move for his college? Its COLLEGE. He is not going to want mommy and daddy around any more than you want to move. Do you have any relatives you could live with locally? Aunt or uncle or grandparents?

WallabyAlive - NTA. You have the right to be upset. Your parents have treated you unfairly. For every game they went to of your brothers they should have gone to one if yours. Continue to let them know how you feel. You have the right to your feelings. It doesn’t matter if your brother is the next Tom Brady you deserve your families love and attention.

CatOutrageous9135 - NTA. Looks like we have a serious case of Golden Child here. You were absolutely right. Your parents need to learn how to be parents. Also, why would they need to move closer to his college? Why cannot he stay in dorms or rent a room like everybody else?

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[Reddit User] - Definitely NTA. That's honestly disturbing that your parents are so unwilling to let your brother have his own life.

DLS3141 - NTA. You should let your brother know that you’re proud of him and that you’re not upset with him. Put the blame where it belongs. How does he feel about your parents following him to college. I’d be annoyed as hell having mommy and daddy follow me across the country to college.

[Reddit User] - So what happens if this brother has an injury or doesn't make it to the NFL? What's going to happen to OP's parents self-identity then?

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DznyMa - NTA but it may never do any good, sadly

From slamming the parents’ obsession to questioning their college move, these takes fuel the debate. Do they capture the full scope of this sibling dynamic, or is there more to this family play?

This story of a sister’s struggle reveals the cost of unbalanced parenting. Her call-out exposed years of neglect, but also strained family ties, leaving her brother in an awkward spot. Should she have kept quiet to keep the peace, or was her stand a necessary wake-up call? How would you handle feeling overshadowed by a sibling’s success? Share your thoughts below!

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