AITA for leaving early my BF’s family vacation?

A mountain getaway promised cozy fires and family bonding, but for one woman, it became a battleground of boundaries. At 25, she envisioned a rare escape with her 30-year-old boyfriend, meeting his extended family in a rustic cabin nestled among pines. But when his misogynistic best friend, notorious for crude boob jokes, announced he’d crash the trip—ditching his own wife and kid—she drew a line in the snow. Her boyfriend’s refusal to uninvite him sent her packing with the friend’s furious wife, leaving him fuming.

This isn’t just a vacation gone sour—it’s a raw clash of loyalty, respect, and dealbreakers. Her dramatic exit, fueled by months of enduring her boyfriend’s pal, has Reddit rallying behind her, but his texts branding her “immature” sting. Was she right to bolt, or did she overplay her hand? Let’s unpack this chilly drama and see.

‘AITA for leaving early my BF’s family vacation?’

The Reddit post spills the tea on a vacation that went from dreamy to disastrous. Here’s the original poster’s unfiltered account of her clash with her boyfriend and his toxic friend.

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I (25F) have been with my bf (30M) for over a year, he has a best friend who is always around, this guy is from another country and has no friends he does have a wife and a kid tho. For the past month he have spent every weekend with this guy. He invites me but I am so tired of him that I dont come, the guy is also a douchebag he constantly makes jokes.

Talks about my boobs, its very misogynist so I dont like to be around him I still do sometimes for my bf who have told him SEVERAL times I hate those jokes and I have done it too. Now the problem we had a few days off and decided to go to my bf's parents house in the mountains.

They are visiting his sister in a different state so we decided to come and some of his family members are coming too, I know a couple of them but people from all places are coming too and its my first time meeting them. His friend is at a place about an hour ago from here with his wife and kid, he said he wanted to come over and his wife got mad and said no.

He was planning on leaving them alone at the beach and come here I told my bf I didnt want it either and I wanted for once be free of his stupid friend and just be us. Well he still said he was coming, his wife got extremely pissed and decided to go back to the city.

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My bf's family isnt here yet so I told this wife that I would leave with her when she comes to drop him off since I came in my bf's car. My bf got extremely mad that I left with her and couldnt stay to meet his family I said that I was tired of him and his friend and I would reconsider the relationship because if we get married he might bring his friend over to our honeymoon.

The delivery room, etc. He have been blowing my phone with messages calling me immature and selfish and his family was excited to meet me, I am ignoring him but I am questioning if maybe I was wrong, AITA for leaving, should I go back?

A vacation should be a refuge, but this woman’s retreat turned into a referendum on her relationship. Her boyfriend’s choice to invite his misogynistic friend, despite her pleas and the friend’s history of crude remarks, wasn’t just tone-deaf—it was a neon sign of misplaced priorities. Her exit with the friend’s wife was a bold stand for self-respect, though his “immature” label shows he’s dodging accountability, as Reddit’s NTA chorus notes. The friend’s unchecked behavior, per MrsNuggs, signals deeper issues in her boyfriend’s values.

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This reflects broader relationship red flags. A 2023 study in Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that 71% of women report partner inaction against disrespectful friends as a trust breaker. Her boyfriend’s failure to act mirrors this pattern, risking her emotional safety.

Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman says, “Defending your partner from external slights builds trust; ignoring them erodes it”. His wisdom nails the boyfriend’s fumble—prioritizing his friend over her comfort screams disloyalty. Her threat to rethink the relationship, as jimmap supports, is a wake-up call he’s ignoring.

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She should hold firm, demanding her boyfriend address his friend’s behavior and set boundaries before returning. Couples counseling could clarify his loyalties.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit’s serving up some fiery takes on this vacation fiasco, and they’re as bold as a double espresso. Here’s a taste of the community’s thoughts, dished with zero chill.

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OldKnee4733 − NTA. Your boyfriend is only allowing his misogynistic friend around you because HE shares in the same misogynistic views. He's endorsing the treatment directed towards you.

ClassieLadyk − NTA, he obviously didnt care that much because if he did then he would have told his friend not to come.

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7dayweekendgirl − Your boyfriend showed that he will always choose his friend over you. He has not --and will not --protect you from this toxic ass. Get out now.

Spirited_Bill_8947 − Have you considered you may be his beard? He is actively choosing time with his friend over you. The friend is actively choosing to ditch his child and wife for your boyfriend.

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Your boyfriend and his friend are a couple and you and the wife are the cover. Even knowing you would leave he still chose his friend.. He isn't mad you left, he is mad you threaten his closet existance.

MrsNuggs − NTA. Your boyfriend is allowing this disgusting behavior when he should be telling his friend to cut the s**t. Boyfriend also seems to prioritize the AH over you, and if that hasn't changed yet, it likely won't change at all. I'd rethink this relationship.

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pnutbuttercups56 − NTA. If he hasn't already told the guy to stop why even bother with him? He should have told him to stop the first time and spoken to him privately about it.

I get wanting to see his friend and the friend being lonely but there's no excuse for not saying anything to him when he's making these comments around him. If you didn't mention before that you wanted a weekend without him you should have. But you've already mentioned the 'jokes'.

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[Reddit User] − No you’re not the a**hole. Your boyfriend is. He isn’t respecting your boundaries and isn’t stopping his friend from being rude, misogynistic and disrespectful. You had every right to leave a situation you felt uncomfortable in. It isn’t immature it’s prioritising.

jimmap − NTA. Sounds like your bf will never change so you might want to cut your losses now.. Edit: Don't go back. You will simply be playing into his manipulation.

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[Reddit User] − NTA. Your boyfriend is allowing someone to mistreat you on multiple occasions. He doesn’t have a problem with this since it keeps continuing. Who would want to put up with this? You don’t have to.

RideTheWindForever − NTA. If he wanted his family to meet you he should have nixed having the friend over for once!

These Reddit roasts are piping hot, but do they serve the full truth? Are they cheering a boundary-setter, or missing a nuance?

This woman’s mountain escape turned into a landslide of loyalty tests, and her exit was a fierce cry for respect. Reddit’s got her back, seeing a girlfriend pushed too far by a boyfriend blind to his friend’s toxicity. As she weighs her next move, one question looms: can her relationship survive this friend-shaped wedge? Readers, what would you do if your partner let a creepy pal ruin your getaway? Drop your stories and verdicts below—this drama’s still snowballing!

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