AITA for sending my food back, not once, but twice?

Picture a sun-dappled patio in Ontario, buzzing with the thrill of restaurants reopening after a long lockdown. The air hums with chatter, clinking glasses, and the faint promise of normalcy. One vegetarian diner, eager to join the celebration, orders a meat-free meal, only to find chicken tangled in their dish—not once, but twice. Caught between hunger and principle, they politely send it back, sparking a debate among friends about etiquette and empathy in a stressed-out service industry.

This tale isn’t just about a botched order; it’s a snapshot of navigating kindness in a world where servers are stretched thin, and diners are urged to be extra patient. The original poster (OP) thought they handled it with grace, but their friends disagreed, leaving OP wondering if they were the villain. It’s a story that makes you ponder: where’s the line between standing up for yourself and cutting overworked staff a break?

‘AITA for sending my food back, not once, but twice?’

For context, restaurants in Ontario were just allowed to open patio effective this past Friday. Everyone is pumped, but also there have been a lot of messages on social media to be extra nice to your servers and wait staff etc. I’ve worked in the industry before, so I understand how tough it can be.

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Actually I think everyone should work in the service industry at some point in their life because it’s such a valuable lesson..... but I digress.... So I go out with a few friends this weekend and hit up a patio. We order food and drinks and all is good. Food comes. Mine has chicken on it, it’s all mixed in with the rest of the food.

I am a vegetarian and ordered a veggie meal. I get all weird because I know that it’s a tough time for the restaurant industry etc. So when the waiter comes over and asks how things are, I say that there is chicken in my meal and I am vegetarian. She apologizes profusely and I’m like no worries, I understand it’s busy.. take your time.

A little while passes and the food comes out again but this time it’s a different waiter. Chicken on it again. At this point I’m like ok, if I send it back again I’m for sure getting my meal spit in. The server comes back and asks how everything is, and I say that the meal came out with chicken again. She was horrified and on the verge of tears.

I tell her that it’s ok but I won’t get a replacement this time because we have to leave soon. Of course I was a bit annoyed but knew that they had a lot going on with just having reopened etc, and I was nice to the server - no attitude.

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My friends who I was with, who just so happen to work in the industry, told me that I should have just pretended everything was ok and not “ruined her day” by sending the food back twice, when referring to the waiter. I was taken aback because I thought I was accommodating and super nice to the girl.

They then proceeded to judge me for leaving only a 20% tip on the bill saying I should have left more because she took off the meal that the restaurant had to deliver twice. Should I never go to a restaurant again? Am I the a**hole?

ending back a meal twice sounds like a bold move, but when you’re vegetarian and chicken keeps sneaking onto your plate, it’s less about pickiness and more about principle. The OP’s calm approach clashed with their friends’ view that they should’ve just grinned and borne it to spare the server’s feelings. This tension highlights a broader issue: balancing personal needs with empathy for service workers under pressure.

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The restaurant industry’s post-COVID reopening has been chaotic. A 2021 Teen Vogue article (source) noted that 70% of service workers reported increased customer hostility during reopenings, amplifying stress. The OP’s server, likely frazzled by the patio rush, wasn’t personally at fault—kitchen mix-ups happen. Yet, OP’s vegetarianism isn’t a trivial preference; it’s a dietary boundary.

Dr. Amy Hanser, a sociologist studying service work, says, “Servers are caught in a web of customer expectations and workplace demands, often with little control” . Here, the server’s distress likely stemmed from systemic overwhelm, not OP’s actions. OP was polite, tipping 20% despite the errors.

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For resolution, OP could’ve clarified their dietary needs upfront, perhaps double-checking with the server. Restaurants, per Restaurant Business (source), benefit from training staff on dietary restrictions to avoid such mix-ups. Both sides deserve grace—OP for asserting their needs, and the server for navigating a tough shift. Open communication, not silence, keeps the patio vibes friendly.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

The Reddit crowd dished out a lively mix of support and sass, like a potluck where everyone’s got a strong opinion. Here’s the raw take from the online crew, served with a side of spice:

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StAlvis − NTA. Mine has chicken on it, it’s all mixed in with the rest of the food. I am a vegetarian and ordered a veggie meal.. **1000% legit reason** for sending food back.. Chicken on it again.. *JFC*.

My friends who I was with, who just so happen to work in the industry, told me that I should have just pretended everything was ok and not “ruined her day” by sending the food back twice. Whoever ruined someone's time here, **it was not you**.

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dontcareatall12345 − NTA, they fucked up your meal twice and you still tipped the social norm of 20%. You did better than I would have!

BohemianGraham − NTA, you still left a 20% tip even though your food was wrong twice. You also didn't blow up at the server. I'm sure the server was super stressed because of the fact restaurants just reopened up there. Someone else may have ended up with your vegetarian meal twice. You were certainly nicer than a lot of people would have been, fulfilling the stereotype of our country.

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azh88 − NTA she’s actually gonna remember how nice you were considering she messed up twice and a lesser person would have really ruined her day

[Reddit User] − NTA. It wasn't rude. They got your order wrong and you were polite about it. And lying to the waiter wouldn't have made you any more polite.

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Midnightnox − NAH. If they had gotten the wrong sauce or something it would be understandable to just accept the dish but you couldn't even eat it, and they made the same mistake two times! I'm assuming because it just opened they had to hire new staff that may have been inexperienced. Good call not trying a third time.

Portie_lover − NTA - you responded reasonably and politely. You’re a vegetarian and the restaurant kept bringing you meat. You made it clear you didn’t want it. That’s why the servers were horrified. Not at you.

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[Reddit User] − NAH. It's not like you sent it back because you didn't like the presentation - it had something you couldn't eat on it! She was likely just stressed because working as a waitress during COVID-19 is basically hell on earth. [Customers have been notably worse] during [the whole thing], so she probably looked upset because she was bracing to get yelled at. But you didn't yell at her, so I think you're in the clear!

coolpiggie − NTA. First America with the crazy tipping rules and now Canada I guess. You should tip MORE because they fucked up your meal twice?? A tip is for GOOD service and you shouldn’t feel any guilt whatsoever for simply expecting yo get what you ordered. Ridiculous.

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soimagarbageperson − NTA - I get it that you were there with other people but if they fucked up my order that badly twice in a row not only would I not tip I wouldn’t pay for the drinks or appies either, I’m just walking out and never coming back. (If I wasn’t with people, which you were. Still no gratuity at all because I’m not grateful for a damn thing but leaving)

Redditors mostly rallied behind OP, praising their patience while calling out the kitchen’s double blunder. Some saw the 20% tip as generous; others argued it was bare minimum. But do these keyboard critics nail the nuance of a hectic patio shift, or are they just tossing hot takes?

This patio misadventure reminds us that dining out is a dance of expectations—between customers who want their order right and servers juggling chaos. OP’s polite pushback didn’t ruin anyone’s day, but it sparked a debate about grace under pressure. In a world where restaurants are clawing back from lockdowns, a little empathy goes a long way. Have you ever sent food back and felt like the bad guy? What would you do in OP’s shoes?

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