AITA for refusing my parents tickets to my graduation?

Charlotte Morse Hours
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A medical school graduation, meant to be a joyous milestone, turns tense when a student reserves their two ceremony tickets for their grandparents, who raised them from age 8 and worked tirelessly to fund their education. Their biological parents, who sent them away due to illness as a child and never took them back, are excluded despite purchasing nonrefundable plane tickets, sparking upset.

This isn’t just about ticket allocation—it’s a story of gratitude and family wounds. The OP honors their grandparents’ sacrifices, but their parents feel rejected. Reddit largely supports their choice, praising the grandparents. As the big day approaches, the story unveils the complexities of kinship and contributions.

‘AITA for refusing my parents tickets to my graduation?’

When I was 17, I got into a GREAT uni, But the issue is that tuition was going to be too expensive. I was raised by my Grandparents from 8 years old on because I was not well and they raided what they could from their retirement funds, I worked, I did fafsa and got scholarships, and we were still short for school.

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So we looked into it and my then 66 year old Grandpa got a job at the school and my Grandma got a job working too and I used my benefits from my Grandma in the end but they kept working because I ended up deciding to go to med school and that was free instead of being literally $425,792 for all four years because I used my Grandpa's benefits.

So now I'm graduating in a full graduation ceremony and I've only been granted 2 tickets. They were always going to go to my Grandparents, there was no question about that. They did hard labor and worked while I worked, they paid $30,000 yearly for me to travel abroad, keep up with my friends, and be in a sorority, they bought me a (used but still!!!)

Maserati when I matched for my residency, and they have done so much for me. They didn't have the chance to do what they wanted and so I'm doing it for them. I never had less than an A and they would stay up and tutor me to success when I needed it and this has been their triumph as well, especially with my new job.

My mom and dad are still in my life but I never really forgave them for literally sending me away. I understand that I was sick at 8 and I needed constant care but I was healed by 13 and they never took me back. The tickets aren't meant for them, in my mind, they're meant for the people who went to work so I could win.

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My Parents bought tickets to LA and have made all of their reservations but they're all of those nonrefundable deals. I told them that they wouldn't be invited to any of the planned after parties or my actual graduation but they INSIST on coming out anyway. I told them that I wouldn't be seeing them or my siblings.

My dad called me to tell me that I'd upset my mother and I told him that she was only upset because she'd wasted her money and she'd always had our address. He told me that I was an A and they were working and had careers and my siblings and they couldn't take care of me because I was sick.

The OP’s decision to give graduation tickets to their grandparents reflects deep gratitude for those who raised and supported them. Their biological parents’ choice to send them away at age 8 due to illness, and not take them back after recovery, left feelings of abandonment. This choice not only honors the grandparents but also sets a clear boundary with their parents.

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Family estrangement impacts 27% of parent-child relationships, often tied to feelings of rejection. Dr. Joshua Coleman, a family reconciliation expert, notes, “Healing requires acknowledging past hurts without defensiveness.” The parents’ insistence on attending the graduation overlooks this complex history.

The OP is justified in prioritizing their grandparents, but completely shutting out their parents and siblings may deepen the rift. A conciliatory approach, like inviting them to a post-ceremony celebration, could have eased tension while still honoring the grandparents.

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Moving forward, the OP should have an open conversation with their parents, explaining why they prioritized their grandparents without closing the door on the relationship. The parents need to apologize and show effort to rebuild trust. Family counseling could help both sides understand each other, fostering a path toward mutual understanding.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit strongly backs the OP as NTA, praising their decision to give graduation tickets to their grandparents, who made immense sacrifices, from working in old age to covering education and living expenses. Users view the grandparents as the OP’s true parents, while criticizing the biological parents for sending their child away and not taking them back, yet now demanding to attend.

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Some question the OP’s complete refusal to see their parents and siblings, but most agree the parents have no right to expect tickets when they were absent for much of the OP’s life. Reddit emphasizes that the grandparents’ sacrifices deserve recognition, and the parents should accept the consequences of their past choices.

miked575 − NTA Your grandparents were amazing, and they supported you more than most parents are able to do. This would be an amazing token of gratitude for them to be able to share in the day that is your graduation.

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And with your parents, just remind them about how much your grandparents really helped you and how much they mean to you, and that you can still have a graduation party to be able to celebrate with them. Also, I’m sure your school will stream the ceremony, so they won’t COMPLETELY miss out.. Congrats btw, I’m also graduating college soon.

[Reddit User] − NTA.. Your grandparents were there for you all the time. They deserve the tickets. Your parents however were never there but now want to be part of it and your life? Now that you are successful, I feel like they want to benefit of you. With giving you away and never took you back, they only seem to do whats good for them.

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G8RTOAD − NTA They stopped being eligible to know anything about your life when they gave you away. Now all of a sudden they want to play parents of the year because the child who they gave away is now graduating from medical school which will look good for all on social media.

They aren’t entitled to tickets to your graduation they chose to place their other children as their priority and it’s the consequences of their actions that they will now have to live with. Good on you for choosing the two people who’ve stood beside you and supported you the most to be their to witness you graduating.

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StinkyJane − NTA. Your grandparents are, for all intents and purposes, your parents. It sounds like your biological parents haven't had any role in your life since you were 8. They basically gave you up for adoption, even though it sounds like that was never legally formalized.

It's pretty weird they feel entitled to jump back into your life, when they've been out of it far longer than they were ever in it to begin with. Do you even really know them? Or do they feel more like distant family friends? Did they ever come to visit you all for all those years?

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krwdf5 − INFO Your post was about tickets to the graduation ceremony, but then you threw in some stuff about refusing to see your parents and siblings when they come to visit. I would definitely say NTA for the former. As to the refusal to see them, are you asking for judgment on that?

If so, why do you refuse to see them? Is it singularly related to sending you away? Or is it also that you do not want to have bad feelings brought up during while you are celebrating your accomplishments? Or something completely different?

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RubyRogue13 − NTA. I really hope you take care of them once you're through your training and have the extra income. They've worked so hard for your success and I know they're proud of you!

Rage-Parrot − NTA - WOW I am sorry your bio parents were so terrible. It is good to hear you had such amazing Grand Parents though.

Traditional-Bed9449 − I can’t get over the fact that you let your 66+ yr old grandparents do “hard labor” work so you could get a free ride to college, give you $30k yearly to travel and let them buy you a Maserati. You’re NTA regarding your parents...but I feel sorry for your grandparents that they had to continue working after 65 so you could live a luxury filled lifestyle.

Euphoric-Plenty-1603 − NTA In fact you would be an arsehole if you gave the tickets to your parents after all that your grandparents have done for you.. Congratulations on graduating. You have wonderful grandparents

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[Reddit User] − Tell your parents if they really want to see you so bad, tell them to pay up $425,792 first. NTA

Reddit strongly backs the OP as NTA, praising their decision to give graduation tickets to their grandparents, who made immense sacrifices, from working in old age to covering education and living expenses. Users view the grandparents as the OP’s true parents, while criticizing the biological parents for sending their child away and not taking them back, yet now demanding to attend.

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Some question the OP’s complete refusal to see their parents and siblings, but most agree the parents have no right to expect tickets when they were absent for much of the OP’s life. Reddit emphasizes that the grandparents’ sacrifices deserve recognition, and the parents should accept the consequences of their past choices.

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