AITA for still bringing up an old grudge against my in-laws after more than a decade?

At a lively birthday party, the clink of glasses pauses as a family photo album sparks an unexpected firestorm. A man, now a decade into marriage, chuckles bitterly as he recounts being barred from his in-laws’ cherished holiday portraits for years—deemed “not family” despite his long-term commitment to his wife. His sharp retelling, laced with jabs at his in-laws’ failed marriages, turns laughter into tears, leaving the room divided.

This Reddit AITA post pulls us into a tale of lingering resentment and family politics. As the man’s words unearth old hurts, we’re left wondering: was his public jab a justified clapback or a petty grudge gone too far? With humor and heart, this story invites us to explore the weight of exclusion and the challenge of letting go.

‘AITA for still bringing up an old grudge against my in-laws after more than a decade?’

Family traditions can be a minefield, and this man’s exclusion from portraits clearly left scars. His laughter and pointed remarks at the party were less about humor and more about reclaiming dignity after years of feeling sidelined. Yet, his delivery stung, turning a festive moment sour.

Psychologist Dr. John Gottman notes, “Unresolved resentment can erode relationships, as small slights fester into larger conflicts” . Here, the man’s pain stems from being deemed “lesser” by his in-laws’ rigid rule, especially when their own marriages crumbled. Their hypocrisy—excluding him while including fleeting ex-husbands—fuels his grudge.

This reflects a broader issue: family gatekeeping. Research shows 40% of couples face in-law conflicts over acceptance, often tied to traditions . Gottman suggests addressing old hurts through calm dialogue, perhaps with his wife mediating. He could say, “Those years of exclusion still hurt—can we talk about it?” to open healing.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit’s got some spicy takes on this family photo fiasco, and they’re serving up everything from empathy to tough love. Here’s what the community said:

These opinions swing from cheering his shade to calling him petty, but do they capture the full sting of exclusion?

This man’s tale shows how old wounds can flare up, turning a family album into a battleground. His snarky outburst gave voice to years of hurt, but it also deepened the rift. As he grapples with letting go, we’re left asking: when does holding a grudge outweigh the cost to family peace? Have you ever clung to a past slight? What would you do in his place? Drop your thoughts below and keep the convo flowing!