AITA for telling my fiancée she can either have me at our wedding or her best friend and their dogs and we’d get married at a courthouse?

Jonathan Hours
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Wedding bells were ringing, but so were alarm bells for one groom-to-be as his fiancée unveiled a plan to turn their big day into a canine extravaganza. Picture this: a “dog marriage” stealing the spotlight, puppy slideshows, and a reception overrun with tail-wagging guests—all dreamed up by his fiancée and her dog-obsessed best friend.

This Reddit tale, brimming with quirky drama, pulls us into a tug-of-war over wedding plans. Was the groom wrong to slam the brakes with an ultimatum—his way or a courthouse wedding? Or are the dog-loving duo barking up the wrong tree? With love, money, and mutts at stake, this story hooks us with its wild, heartfelt clash.

‘AITA for telling my fiancée she can either have me at our wedding or her best friend and their dogs and we’d get married at a courthouse?’

Throwaway, fake names :Jessica(30F) and I(29M) are getting married next year. We've been doing the wedding planning, got places and things picked out, its been going good until we hit this snag. Abby is Jessica's best friend and maid of honor. Both love dogs, they both have dogs.

When we started talking about the wedding Jessica told me all about this plan they both had that when each of them got married, they'd have doggy wedding ceremony between their dogs and their future husband's dogs at the same time. I don't have a dog, not a dog guy, so there is no potential for that to happen.

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I like her dog enough and let her do what she will with him, and I do get him treats and toys sometimes. I thought that would be the last I heard of that. She and Abby started to talk about how cute it would be to include both of their dogs in our wedding party.

Not my thing, but I have friends and family that have done something similar and I want her to enjoy the day so I said okay thinking they'd just be up at the alter or something like that. Nope. They want their dogs to get \*married\* during our wedding. I wasn't too keen on the idea and raised concerns like what would they do with both dogs for the rest of the day?  What if the venue we picked doesn't allow pets?

We went back and forth and I agreed that they could do their dog ceremony at the end of our ceremony. Couple weeks later Jessica and Abby bring it up again- they want parts of the reception to be dedicated to their dogs \*friendship\*. S**t like puppy picture slideshow, a cake for them, dog-friendly favor bags because they want their friends and her family to bring their dogs too.

I told them no and that I already made one compromise on the issue and don't want a bunch of dogs around for our entire wedding and reception and that if they did that, we'd have to find an all-new venue probably. I reminded her that she was near the limit of what she could contribute toward our wedding funds and I'd be paying the rest, and I don't want to pay extra for stuff for a bunch of dogs.

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They both said that this was really important to them so I told Jessica point blank- We can stick to what we originally agreed to, or she and Abby could have their costly party that allows dogs by themselves and we'd just get married at the courthouse by ourselves.

Abby told Jessica I was being manipulative and making ultimatums and wanted her to go stay at her place until 'OP pulls his head out of his ass'. Jessica didn't go but we're still going back and forth. She still wants things her way and feels I'm being too selfish. I don't think I am because I want an enjoyable wedding and marriage with Jessica- not Jessica and Abby and their pets. AITA?

Wedding planning can feel like herding cats—or, in this case, dogs. The groom’s frustration is understandable: his fiancée’s push for a dog-themed extravaganza overshadows their shared commitment, especially since he’s footing most of the bill. Her best friend’s heavy influence only muddies the waters.

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Wedding disputes often reflect deeper issues. A 2023 study by The Knot found that 30% of couples argue over guest lists and event details, with third-party input often escalating tensions (source). Here, Abby’s role risks sidelining the groom’s voice. The dog “marriage” might be cute, but it’s impractical and divisive.

Relationship expert Dr. John Gottman, quoted in a 2022 Brides article, advises, “Compromise in relationships requires both partners to feel heard and valued” (source). The groom’s initial concession was fair, but the added demands dismiss his concerns. His ultimatum, while harsh, underscores his need for equal say.

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The couple should negotiate privately, perhaps limiting the dogs’ role to a brief ceremony moment. A dog-themed bachelorette party, as suggested by a Redditor, could satisfy Abby’s vision without hijacking the wedding.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit’s got a bone to pick with this doggy drama, dishing out takes as lively as a puppy chase. Here’s what the community barked about:

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Downtown_Age9108 − Nta.... wtf did i just read? A doggy wedding, wtf is wrong with people!!!! Dogs are animals, not babies!! This level of obsession with an animal would freak me the f**k out. And i would, personally, nope out of the relationship!

Background-Aioli4709 − Lmao this is wild. You are NTA. This is just as much your wedding as it is your fiancée. However it is not the wedding of her friend, her dog, or her friend's dog.

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Cryptographer_Alone − NTA. Who's Jessica marrying, you or Abby? This dog idea is over-the-top but could be cute... if it was your dog marrying Jessica's dog. It's really weird to me that it's Jessica marrying you and her dog marrying Abby's dog all at the same time, more or less.

And Jessica is talking about taking so much time out of a day celebrating her commitment to spending her life with you to celebrate her friendship with Abby via their dogs. That's...not the point of a wedding? And what about the guests who don't have dogs, are allergic to dogs, or are terrified of dogs? Are they less important guests?

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Most of the time, childhood dreams about our weddings don't come true. We marry cat people instead of dog people, we come to value homes over expensive parties, and realize we can't dance. It's time for Jessica to let this one go.

Hatstand82 − NTA. Step aside and let Jessica marry Abby (which is clearly what at least one of them wants) - then they can do whatever they like with the dogs in the ceremony.

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snarkingintheusa − NTA Look dude, I love my dogs and they are 100% part of our family. They sleep on the bed, I make them their own meals sometimes and I’ve been known to cut vacations short because I missed them so damn much.

I fully embrace that I am a crazy dog lady but I think this situation is batshit crazy. A non dog person as yourself and this level of doggy cookoo are never going to get along. Are you prepared to spend your life coming in 3rd place to Jessica’s dog and Abby? There are some really weird red flags here.

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Baileythenerd − NTA- OP, holy crap, I get loving dogs, but *what in the blue hell?* Your wedding day is about *you two getting married* why is your future wife getting sidetracked with her friend's little dog marriage games? You already compromised once, and a helluva lot more than I would've at that, and they're **still** trying to get more out of you?.

No OP, you're NOT TA, your fiance, and to a larger degree- her friend are A-holes. Your fiance for trying to make *your* wedding about dogs, and her friend for egging her on for her own weird little game of dog make-believe.

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Illustrious-Shirt569 − NTA. I don’t mind whacky wedding things, but something like that absolutely needs to be the heart’s desire of BOTH of the people who are actually getting married.

LunaticBZ − God I'm immature, I'm just laughing at the idea of 'Do you take this b**ch to be your wife' being said in a literal way.

sbinjax − NTA. I am a dog person and 'married' two of my dogs when I was ten. TEN. You're the groom, you get the veto. Use it. Your ultimatum is perfect as long as you are willing to follow through. And it is not manipulative. They are being ridiculous.

DaphneMoon-Crane − NTA. I am a huge dog lover, but this is meant to be you and your fiancée's wedding, not the dogs. I think allowing them to be present at the ceremony was a sweet gesture. I would talk to your fiancée and her alone, because it's not her best friends wedding, and let her know that you understand it is important to her that's why you are ok with the dogs being there.

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As for the other things they want, why don't they throw a dog centric bachelorette party, and that way it's the best friend that wants this that is helping foot the bill. Everyone can invite their dogs and have a grand ole time. But not at your wedding.

These Reddit opinions are a mixed bag of wit and wisdom. Is the groom standing his ground or overreacting? And what’s with Abby’s role in this?

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This wedding saga leaves us pondering: how do you keep a day about love from going to the dogs? The groom’s ultimatum—his wedding or a courthouse—clashes with his fiancée’s canine dreams, stirred up by her best friend. If you were planning your big day, how would you handle a partner’s wild idea that didn’t match your vision? Share your thoughts below—have you ever faced a wedding planning showdown like this?

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