AITA for not letting my Baby daddy see his daughter?

In a modest apartment, a young mother built a safe haven for her three-year-old daughter, raising her alone through sleepless nights and endless love. Her ex, once convinced she’d betrayed him, refused to acknowledge their child, leaving her to shoulder parenthood solo.

Now, armed with a DNA test proving his paternity, he’s back, demanding access while hurling insults. Her firm condition—therapy for his hostility—has sparked a heated standoff, pulling us into a raw story of trust, resentment, and a mother’s fierce protection.

‘AITA for not letting my Baby daddy see his daughter?’

My ex name is not on the birth certificate because he refused to sign it because at the time he thought I cheated on him so he has no legal right to our daughter because his name is not on the birth certificate. My ex wanted nothing to do with my daughter until his mom forced him to do an DNA and found out that my daughter is indeed his.

ADVERTISEMENT

I’m upset because I had to go through so much raising my daughter alone for the past 3 years when I never cheated on him, he had no reason to even think I would cheat on him. He was just overly jealous and thought that every time I even looked at a guy that I was flirting with them.

Now he’s here demanding I let him see my daughter, blaming me for all the time he lost with his daughter because apparently I’m such a s**t. I gave him many opportunity to come see his daughter and even offered to pay for the paternity test but he was flat out rude to me and each time it would turn into him calling me names.

I told him that I’m not letting him see my daughter unless he goes to some kinda therapy because he clearly has some issues and I don’t want that negativity around my daughter.. Am I the a**hole ?

The mother’s insistence on therapy before allowing her ex access reflects a protective instinct, prioritizing her daughter’s emotional safety over his belated demands. His refusal to acknowledge paternity for three years, fueled by baseless jealousy, and his aggressive return suggest unresolved issues that could harm a young child. Her boundary-setting is a response to his volatility, not pettiness.

ADVERTISEMENT

This scenario highlights the complexities of co-parenting after trust is broken. A 2022 study in the Journal of Family Issues found that hostile parental interactions can negatively impact child development, increasing risks of anxiety. The mother’s condition of therapy aligns with protecting her daughter from potential emotional fallout, while her ex’s blame-shifting reveals a lack of accountability.

Dr. Laura Markham, a parenting expert, notes, “Children thrive when parents model emotional stability, not conflict”. The ex’s name-calling and denial of responsibility signal a need for professional help before engaging with a vulnerable child. The mother’s offers of paternity tests, met with hostility, underscore her efforts to bridge the gap, making his current demands less credible.

To move forward, the mother could consult a family lawyer to formalize any visitation through court, ensuring her daughter’s safety with supervised access if granted. Therapy for her ex, and possibly co-parenting counseling, could pave a stable path. This story emphasizes the courage of setting boundaries to shield a child from instability, urging parents to prioritize emotional health in fractured families.

ADVERTISEMENT

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit’s community rallied behind the mother, viewing her ex’s absence and hostility as a forfeiture of his parental role. Many praised her therapy requirement as a sensible safeguard, noting his aggressive behavior and false accusations disqualified him from immediate access to her daughter.

Commenters also highlighted the legal angle, suggesting court-ordered visitation could clarify his commitment while securing child support. The consensus saw her as a protective parent, not an obstacle, urging her to stand firm against his unwarranted demands. These views reflect a call for accountability and child-centered decisions.

ADVERTISEMENT

PopularRepublic9 − NTA. He literally didn’t write his name on the births certificate because he thought you were cheating and now he’s blaming you for lost time when he was the one that caused it. But like someone said, he could go to court to try and get custody so prepare yourself

[Reddit User] − NTA. He sounds way too aggressive and hateful, and I would not let someone like that near my child. It sounds like you two are better off without him in your lives.

ADVERTISEMENT

[Reddit User] − NTA. Don’t let him see her and if he really wants to he can go to court for visitation and then you can get him for child support! ETA per some responses below. Absolutely make him legitimize the child through court then he can petition for visitation and you can petition for child support. That might change his tune real quick. And yes, lawyer up if he goes this route!

ocotf − NTA - this is your child. He refused her at birth and hasn’t contributed. If he wants a relationship he needs to go to therapy, pay for your daughters therapy and pay back child support from the day she was born.

ADVERTISEMENT

After al of that is met, he can start to establish a relationship. You need to go to court. Get a good family lawyer... also, go to ALL the good and decent lawyers in your area and talk to ALL of them. They can legally not represent him once you have spoken to them, even if you don’t take them on.

[Reddit User] − NTA he gave up his right to see her when he refused to put his name on the birth certificate. He could've solved this problem easily if he had done a paternity test when she was born.

ADVERTISEMENT

notAgirl77 − NT. If he ***actually*** wanted to be a father and have her in his life, then he would’ve taken a DNA test ***3 years ago***. Period.

jonah_sachs − NTA. The therapy contingency is a good call on your part. He missed tons of opportunities and now he wants to see her? It’s entirely up to you, as you’re the legal guardian of this child.

ADVERTISEMENT

[Reddit User] − NTA - he sounds like a legitimately unhinged person who doesn't know how to treat women. Unfortunately for you, now that he's got the paternity test, he can almost certainly petition a court to get some kind of custody. The question is whether he cares enough to spend the money to do that. Anyway, he sounds lousy. No way you're TA.

Penny_Sane − NTA. It’s a child, not a hobby. You can’t choose when to step in and out of a child’s life based on how you feel. Is he planning on back-paying child support to make amends for his negligence or is he just flittering in for a play with the kid and name call you?

ADVERTISEMENT

yosarianmarx − NTA if he wants to see her, he can go through the courts. At least if this is in the US.

This mother’s stand against her ex’s volatile return reveals the strength of prioritizing a child’s well-being. Her ex’s accusations and absence cast a long shadow, but her insistence on therapy offers a path to stability, if he’ll take it. Their story underscores the power of boundaries in protecting young hearts.

ADVERTISEMENT

Have you navigated a co-parenting clash with an unreliable ex? Share your insights below and let’s explore how love and caution shape these tough, human moments.

Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *