AITA for using my special needs priviledges?

A university lecture hall hums with focus, but for a 28-year-old woman, severe anxiety and depression once made it a battleground. Her lifeline? A special needs program offering extra exam time and recorded lectures. Yet, when a friend learns of her accommodations, she brands her an AH, accusing her of hogging resources meant for “real” disabilities. Torn between gratitude for the support and guilt over her friend’s words, she questions her choice.

This isn’t just about extra time—it’s a clash over mental health, entitlement, and friendship. Her friend’s judgment stings, but was it fair? Readers are drawn into the drama: did she rightly claim her accommodations, or is she stretching the system? The classroom conflict demands a verdict.

‘AITA for using my special needs priviledges?’

This woman shared her university dilemma on Reddit, detailing her friend’s accusations and her own doubts about using accommodations. Here’s her original post, unpacking the emotional turmoil.

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About a year ago, my university added psychological problems to the special needs students requests. I have been diagnosed with severe anxiety and clinical depression so I decided to apply to the program. The program is strictly enforced and they requested my diagnosis, the date and the doctor. Then, they contacted my doctor.

Well, I got in. I have around 1.5x time in exams, able to record the lectures, I can get help from the program when I need, some absences allowed etc. One of my friends learnt about my special needs status and then confronted me.

Told me since I was stable and functioning, I shouldn't be using the program and I was probably taking away from someone who needed it more. It's true that I have been in therapy for a while and have been taking medication, my panic attacks are less frequent and less damaging.

She called me an a**hole for taking part in a program clearly 'isn't meant for me'. Some of my friends told me they agree with her and that they had been thinking this for a while. I am truly conflicted. On one hand, I truly benefitted from the program but on the other hand, maybe they're right and I am using this selfishly. So reddit, AITA?

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Mental health accommodations are a lifeline, but they can spark misunderstanding. This woman, with diagnosed severe anxiety and depression, joined her university’s special needs program, gaining tools to succeed. Her friend’s claim that she’s “stable” and shouldn’t use it ignores the invisible struggles of mental illness and the program’s purpose. Her stability may stem from these very supports.

This reflects broader stigma around mental health accommodations. A 2023 study in Journal of American College Health found that students with psychological disabilities face skepticism, as peers often view their conditions as less “legitimate” than physical ones. The program’s rigorous vetting confirms her eligibility.

Disability advocate Dr. Amy McCart says, “Accommodations level the playing field, not steal resources; mental health conditions qualify as disabilities under law”. Her insight validates the woman’s use of the program, and her friend’s gatekeeping lacks basis, as accommodations like extra time aren’t finite.

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The woman could educate her friends about invisible disabilities to reduce stigma. Her friend should respect her medical needs.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit jumped into this campus clash with takes as fierce as a finals week cram session. Here’s a roundup of their thoughts, sprinkled with humor—because even friend disputes need a chuckle.

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dishpile − NTA. did it ever occur to your friend that the fact that you ARE stable and functioning and flourishing right now might be a direct result of getting those accommodations? You're NOT being selfish by taking care of yourself.

Don't feel guilty for using privileges that were created to help you out. (Also things like extra time in exams and extra office hours?? absolutely not limited resources. you getting these things isn't stealing them from someone else.)

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Detozi − NTA. If you didn’t need the program you would not be in the program. Tell your friend to get fucked.

revsgirl27 − NTA-Do not let someone else’s self entitled non-medical degree having ass take away something that is beneficial to you. I’m so over people seeing someone who has their medical needs under control ( sometimes for now because it will spiral) being pissy.. How do they not know that you’re able to maintain your mental health BECAUSE you’re utilizing those services?. Keep using them. Stay healthy. Find new friends... NTA.

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madelinegumbo − NTA. Severe anxiety and depression can interfere with school. The school wouldn't have added these accommodations if they didn't intend for people in your situation to use them. It's not a zero sum game. They're not turning people away because you're physically filling a slot. You recording a lecture doesn't take away the ability to accommodate another student.

ichheissekate − NTA. You didn’t “get in over someone else”, it’s disability services and they are not limited to a set number of students - they are provided to all students who qualify. Your friend doesn’t know what she is talking about and should mind her business.

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readinngredhead − NTA. Fun fact I used to work in the special needs administrative service at my university. The funds are there. If they are not used they are lost. If you weren’t due them you would not be provided them. Whoever these ‘friends’ are (they are not friends) are not in the position to make that decision.

There are process in place to make sure these services are there for those who need them. Who are these individuals to decide how you function and what you need. You have been deemed in need of these admissions. Take them. Those who actually are in the know of who needs them and not have decided you are. They are the people to listen to.

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DrWildScholar − I really appreciate the comments already here, it’s also important for OP to know that there’s not a limited amount of space in these programs.

They are typically federally funded and the reason the university does such a thorough application process is to ensure that you’re getting the support you actually need. NTA for taking advantage, I’m super proud of you for applying and encourage you to use every accommodation that you feel will support your success.

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Nyukorin − NTA (as a fellow person diagnosed with an anxiety disorder). This program is there for people in your situation, use it to the fullest and go forth and be awesome. Good to hear the medication and therapy is helping you!

Blue_winged_yoshi − NTA. You have two separate diagnosed conditions that the university acknowledges and has a plan to assist with. What’s her problem? Also for the record, nothing that you listed is a deplete-able form of assistance. The help you are receiving isn’t diminishing help provided to anyone else.

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TraumatizedTrashbag − NTA. We're gatekeeping anxiety now?

These Reddit quips are sharp, but do they ace the issue? Was the woman right to embrace her accommodations, or should she rethink her place in the program?

This woman’s story is a raw snapshot of mental health stigma and the fight for fair support. Her use of university accommodations, backed by a rigorous process and Reddit’s cheers, is a stand for her well-being, yet her friend’s harsh words sow doubt. As she thrives, the question lingers: can she shake the guilt? What would you do when friends judge your invisible struggles? Share your stories and weigh in on this heartfelt debate!

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