AITA For telling my aunt and uncle that if they want my cousin to live life on easy mode then facilitating it is their problem?

Imagine walking into a cozy family home, birthday gift in hand, only to be ambushed with a jaw-dropping request. That’s exactly what happened to one person, let’s call them Alex, when their aunt and uncle sat them down for a “chat.” The topic? Their 29-year-old daughter, Laura, who lives like a pampered teen, with her parents cooking, driving, and planning her life. Now, they want Alex to foot the bill or open their home so they can chase their RV dreams. Talk about a family plot twist!

Alex’s story, shared on Reddit’s AITA forum, is a spicy blend of loyalty, boundaries, and a cousin who’s never had to grow up. The audacity of the ask left Alex reeling, and their blunt response set family tongues wagging. Was Alex right to draw a hard line, or did they cross one? Let’s unpack this drama that’s got Redditors cheering and jeering.

‘AITA For telling my aunt and uncle that if they want my cousin to live life on easy mode then facilitating it is their problem?’

My cousin who I’ll call “Laura” (29F) lives with my Aunt and Uncle. My Aunt and Uncle are good people, but they have the unfortunate mentality that their child is perfect and if anything doesn’t go Laura’s way, it’s because everyone else is mean and unfair to Laura and doesn’t recognize how special she is.

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Laura at least has some hobbies (like soap-making and gardening.) She keeps up with some friends through social media and I think attends creative writing workshops. Laura doesn’t have any disabilities that stop her from living independently. Yet Laura doesn’t and has practically no life skills.

Laura has never had a job nor does she do chores. My Aunt and Uncle cook all her meals, drive her everywhere, and schedule all her doctor/dentist appointments as if Laura’s a little kid. I was visiting their house a few days ago to drop off a present for my Aunt’s birthday (I wasn’t able to come on the actual day.)

My Aunt and Uncle insisted that I stay for a bit. (Laura was out of the house) We sat down at the table and they admitted that they wanted to talk with me. They explained that they wanted to sell their current house and buy an RV and travel the country.

The issue was that they needed some extra money to assure Laura had a place to live as well as meal plans/other services and they needed me to “donate” some money or allow Laura to move in with me. I thought this was ridiculous and told them no.

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My Aunt and Uncle called me an awful family member because this is to make sure Laura is okay and they should get to enjoy their retirement and have the experiences that they saved up all these years for.

I told them that Laura’s perfectly capable of standing on her own feet and it’s ridiculous that they’re still doing everything for her as if she’s a little kid. And if they want Laura to live life on easy mode then facilitating it is their problem.

Now a lot of family members are calling me the AH because I was raised to be respectful yet I disrespected my elderly Aunt and Uncle (they had Laura much later in life and are elderly) and criticized their role as parents when I have never had children and have no room to talk. I still think what I said was true and they needed to hear how ridiculous what they were demanding of me was. AITA?

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Alex’s family drama is a textbook case of enabling gone wild. When parents treat their adult child like a helpless toddler, it’s not just love—it’s a setup for failure. Laura’s parents have crafted a bubble where she’s shielded from responsibility, but expecting Alex to maintain that bubble is next-level entitlement. This isn’t just about one cousin; it’s about boundaries and the cost of coddling.

Psychologist Dr. Wendy Mogel, author of The Blessing of a Skinned Knee, warns, “Overprotection can stunt a child’s ability to navigate life’s challenges” . Laura, at 29, has hobbies but no job or chores, a direct result of her parents’ refusal to let her stumble. Alex’s refusal to play along isn’t cruelty—it’s clarity. By saying no, Alex avoided becoming another enabler in Laura’s story.

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This situation ties into a larger issue: the rise of “failure to launch” syndrome. A 2020 Pew Research study found that 52% of young adults in the U.S. live with their parents, often due to economic factors, but enabling can exacerbate dependency . Laura’s case isn’t about finances—she’s simply never been pushed. Her parents’ plan to offload her care onto Alex shows a refusal to confront their role in her stagnation.

For Alex, standing firm is key. Experts suggest setting clear boundaries and redirecting responsibility, as Alex did. If Laura’s parents want to travel, they must plan for her independence, not pawn her off. Alex could encourage a family discussion about Laura’s future, but the onus isn’t on them. As Dr. Mogel advises, letting go is tough but necessary for growth—Laura’s and her parents’.

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Here’s how people reacted to the post:

The Reddit squad rolled up with pitchforks and popcorn, ready to weigh in on Alex’s family showdown. It’s like a virtual family reunion where everyone’s got a hot take and no filter. Here’s the raw scoop from the crowd:

Danic89 − NTA - Everything you said was true. People don’t like bluntness but they need it. Laura needed to start learning to be an adult a decade ago, they had plenty of time.

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Aukulaisgone − NTA, I hate when people say ‘respect your elders!’ Especially after the elders have disrespected you. Respect is earned. Laura is not your responsibility, and you don’t owe her or your aunt and uncle anything.

NUT-me-SHELL − NTA. It isn’t your responsibility to finance someone else’s life. If any of your family members take issue with that, they’re free to chip in their own money.

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[Reddit User] − NTA, I think “perfect child syndrome” is often a result of parents getting their “miracle child” when they thought they couldn’t have one. I don’t think you have an obligation to Laura since it doesn’t seem like the two of you are close either way and she’s perfectly able of getting her life together.

Lilybit09 − NTA. how did you not laugh? I laughed when I read it.

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thejackalreborn − NTA, I feel they invited the commentary with the ridiculous notion you should donate them money

demonmonkey1313 − Definitely NTA 'they needed some extra money to assure Laura had a place to live as well as meal plans/other services and they needed me to “donate” some money or allow Laura to move in with me.'

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Oh hell No they are the ones that raised her to be a slug that makes soap. But expect you to care for her. What happens to her when your aunt and uncle die? She is going to have the life skills of a slug.

SirMittensOfTheHill − NTA. How is *their adult child* your problem!?! She isn't! If they want to buy an RV and travel, that's great! But it isn't your responsibility to facilitate that for them - you have your own future that you need to save for. Aunt and Uncle need to make Cousin get a job and start taking care of herself. They're crippling Cousin if they don't.

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Geekrock84 − NTA - and what the hell, man! Even with family, who thinks it's appropriate to ask someone else to pay for their adult child to be a b** all their life!

mdsnbelle − NTA. They built this house of cards, they can live in it.

Redditors gave Alex a standing ovation for shutting down the absurd request, with some cackling at the sheer nerve of it all. They called Laura’s parents out for building a “house of cards” and expecting Alex to prop it up. But do these fiery opinions nail the whole vibe, or are they just fanning the flames?

Alex’s bold stand against their aunt and uncle’s wild demand is a masterclass in holding boundaries. Laura’s cushy life isn’t Alex’s burden, and calling out her parents’ enabling was a truth bomb they weren’t ready for. This story hits home for anyone who’s faced family pressure to “just help out.” What would you do if you were asked to bankroll someone else’s dream life? Drop your thoughts and stories below!

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