AITA for Canceling My Wedding Over Fiancé’s Betrayal?

In the quiet hours before a wedding, where love should whisper promises of forever, a young bride found herself unraveling a painful truth. At 25, she and her 28-year-old fiancé spent the night before their untraditional ceremony reminiscing, only for him to confess a devastating secret—he was still in love with his best friend, with whom he’d had “slipups” during their relationship. The revelation turned her joy into a storm of doubt, leading her to cancel the wedding just hours before the vows.

This story unfolds with the ache of betrayal and the courage to choose self-respect over tradition. As family pressure mounts and her heart wrestles with shattered trust, her decision sparks a raw debate about love, loyalty, and the right to walk away.

‘AITA for Canceling My Wedding Over Fiancé’s Betrayal?’

My possibly soon to be ex (m28) and I (f25) were due to be married less than a week ago. We are very untraditional and spent the night before together, just talking and reminiscing on what got us to tat point. I’ve always known he is bi, and it’s never been an issue, it’s just who he is.

ADVERTISEMENT

We have a very close knit group of friends, and he and his best friend grew up together and were one another’s support system throughout university. He’s been very open about all this since I first met him. However, one thing I wasn’t aware of is that they were involved, and that my possible-ex is still in love with him, and the feeling is mutual.

I asked him if he’d cheated on me before, and he confessed to ‘a few slipups’ but refused to go into detail. The morning of the wedding I woke feeling sick and just totally o**rwhelmed and stressed. I was questioning everything that’s happened since we got together.

And spoke to his best friend to confirm what I’d been told, which he did after an attempt to lie. I’ve cancelled the wedding and told him I need time to think, but I’m not sure I can get past the cheating. I feel emotionally shattered.

It’s only been a few days but his family and mine keep calling me trying to get me to feel guilty for my choice. We were paying for our wedding ourselves and it was a small, local affair, but I understand people might be disappointed that something they’ve waited for isn’t going to happen, possibly ever.

ADVERTISEMENT

Canceling a wedding under such circumstances is a profound act of self-preservation. The woman’s fiancé not only cheated but admitted to ongoing feelings for another, shattering the foundation of trust essential for marriage. Dr. John Gottman, a leading relationship expert, states, “Trust is the cornerstone of any partnership; without it, resentment festers”. Her decision reflects a refusal to ignore betrayal, despite familial pressure.

The timing of the confession—on the wedding eve—suggests the fiancé may have wanted an out, placing the burden on her to act. This dynamic, paired with his lack of transparency about the “slipups,” undermines any chance for immediate reconciliation. Statistics show 20-25% of marriages experience infidelity, with trust restoration taking years.

The pressure from both families highlights a societal expectation to proceed with weddings despite red flags, often prioritizing appearances over emotional health. The woman’s emotional turmoil is valid—grieving a future she envisioned while facing guilt trips adds to her burden. Dr. Gottman advises, “Healing requires space and support, not coercion.” Her choice to step back is a healthy boundary.

ADVERTISEMENT

Moving forward, she might benefit from therapy to process the betrayal and rebuild self-esteem. Sharing the truth with close family could garner support, while limiting contact with those who guilt her allows space to heal. If her fiancé seeks to rebuild trust, full transparency and couples counseling are non-negotiable—but only if she’s ready.

Check out how the community responded:

The Reddit community overwhelmingly supported the woman’s decision, condemning her fiancé’s betrayal. Many viewed his confession as a deliberate attempt to sabotage the wedding, with his cheating—regardless of his bisexuality—seen as a clear violation of trust. Commenters urged her to stand firm, criticizing the families’ guilt-tripping as misplaced.

ADVERTISEMENT

The consensus emphasized her right to prioritize her well-being over others’ expectations. Redditors encouraged her to share the truth about the cheating to deflect blame, framing her cancellation as a courageous escape from a doomed marriage. The support was a lifeline, affirming her strength in walking away.

Mental-Somewhere-120 − It doesnt matter what anyone else thinks or feels about it. This is your decision alone and you shouldnt be guilted into doing so. It's wild that he hid that from you at all but then to tell you on the night before your wedding?? Be thankful this was before it was done so you can think about it before taking that plunge.

ADVERTISEMENT

EmploymentLanky9544 − one thing I wasn’t aware of is that they were involved, and that my possible-ex is still in love with him, and the feeling is mutual I’ve cancelled the wedding and told him I need time to think, but I’m not sure I can get past the cheating..

You can't get married when he's already in a relationship with someone he loves, who also loves him back. He may be bi, but you didn't agree to an open relationship. You also didn't agree to accept his lies. It’s only been a few days but his family and mine keep calling me trying to get me to feel guilty for my choice

ADVERTISEMENT

I read in your reply you are choosing not to be vindictive by outing him. However, you can tell them he cheated, and if they want more details to ask him. I'm really sorry this blew up your special day. I also think you're making the best decision by not moving forward with the wedding.. NTA

Cute-Profession9983 − Do the families know WHY? Because if they're blaming you, time to set the record straight, pun intended!

ADVERTISEMENT

FartMasterChamp − NTA. You dodged a huge bullet. If you take him back, he will cheat again.. If any of your families is trying to guilt trip you, tell them the truth and then block them. You're going through a rough time and even though this was a difficult decision it was the correct one.

He's cheated on you multiple times and will continue to do so if you stay. Surround yourself with supportive people and be proud of yourself. You saved yourself from marrying a cheater.

ADVERTISEMENT

BusinessRecord7595 − If the guests loved you, they’d be more worried about you and your mental health than any ‘party’ they missed

AussieOyyy − NTA your bf wasn't completely honest with you.

ADVERTISEMENT

Better-Turnover2783 − You needed to cancel it.. You deserve happiness not doubt. You would have never known in your heart of hearts, whether the vows he spoke were to you or the best man standing right up there next to him.. That would have been a horrible way to start a life.. Let everyone know he's a cheater, no matter who it's with men or women and you don't marry cheaters.. Good Luck 

Puzzleheaded_Army316 − Your hopefully ex came clean about his feelings for the other guy and the cheating the night before the wedding because HE didn't want to go through with it and he knew that you wouldn't either if you knew the truth. Or he was hoping that you would tell him that it's OK for him to be with both of you.

ADVERTISEMENT

Tell anyone who reaches out to question your decision THE WHOLE TRUTH of why you called off the wedding. Him being bi doesn't mean he's allowed to cheat on you with men or women. Cheating is cheating regardless of orientation.

NO ONE is obligated to marry a partner who cheated on them. Because unless he had reason to believe that you were dead, he chose to betray you. And he didn't care how much it would hurt you when you found out.. He sounds like a selfish AH who you would be much better off without.

Radiant_Chipmunk3962 − NTA, please tell the reason why. Bi does not mean you can marry a gender and have s** with the other. This is still cheating. Can’t have your cake and eat it. Sore for you, you did the right thing.

abrickinthegrey − NTA. To have your fiancé tell you about cheating on you the night before you were meant to be married **seems** a bit calculated to me, like he was having second thoughts and didn’t want to be the one to cancel things, so told you about the cheating knowing that you would do it instead.

ADVERTISEMENT

I am so sorry that this has happened to you, I can only imagine how devastating it has been considering the complexity of how it has all unfolded. If your family and/or his do not know about the cheating

At the very least you should tell your own family so that you have emotional support for the decision you have made with some understanding from them instead of being questioned for your decision.

ADVERTISEMENT

You do not owe him ‘protection’ from the judgement he may receive because of choices he made. You owe yourself the emotional support you need to make it through this with people who love you and understand why you did what was best for you✨

This wedding-that-wasn’t tells a story of heartbreak turned into empowerment. The woman’s choice to cancel, though painful, was a stand for her own worth, even as family pressure tried to sway her. Trust, once broken, demands time to mend—if it ever can. Have you ever walked away from a big commitment due to betrayal? Share your journey—let’s explore this emotional crossroads together!

ADVERTISEMENT
Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *