My Husband Took a Day Off So I Could Sleep Before My Night Shift — MIL Was Furious

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Imagine this: it’s 3 a.m., your toddler’s crying in pain, and you’re a hospital worker facing a grueling night shift until dawn. You’re running on fumes, but your husband steps up, taking a day off to care for your son. Sounds like teamwork, right? Not to this mother-in-law (MIL), who thinks a sleep-deprived mom should just “get up” and handle it all.

This JustNoMIL Reddit tale is a jaw-dropping glimpse into a MIL’s out-of-touch logic, dismissing a mom’s exhaustion with zero empathy. With her son diagnosed with a neck sprain and the OP barely surviving on five hours of sleep, the drama unfolds over a FaceTime call that’ll make you roll your eyes. Let’s unpack this MIL madness!

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My Husband Took a Day Off So I Could Sleep Before My Night Shift — MIL Was Furious.
Original post shared on r/JUSTNOMIL

‘Yeah I’ll stay up for 24 hours rather than have my husband take a day off…’

Doesn’t live on this planet I don’t think. So last night my son (3) woke up at about 3am complaining of neck pain, he was crying in pain and couldn’t move it at all. I obviously panicked did all the rest of the checks for meningitis which thankfully he didn’t have, he struggled to sleep crying whenever he moved and wanted his mum so obviously I didn’t sleep whilst my husband slept a full nights sleep.

I’d had maybe 3/4 hours sleep in total when he was up for the day at 7am. I work in a hospital and I’ll be working evening tonight and won’t get home till 4am. My husband works in a school on self employed basis, so he can move his hours around. He won’t get paid in this next pay slip for it, but he’ll be able to squeeze it in somewhere else next month.

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My son was still in pain when he woke up, obviously didn’t send him to childcare given he was in so much pain and then we waited until our GP was open at 8am to get an appointment which we got for 10:30 this morning.. My husband took the day off, so i could get some level of sleep before work.

My son wanted to call grandma so him and my husband spoke on FaceTime to her. She’s obviously asked why husband wasn’t in work, and he’s told her about my son being in pain, me being up all night and then on nights. Husband; yeah I took the day off, son is in pain with his neck just waiting for this drs appointment so we know what’s happening and OP on nights

Her: well you still could’ve gone to work OP would have just had to get up and look after him.

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Husband: not really, she was up from about 3am she’s on nights, wouldn’t have been fair to her.

MIL: she could sleep later when you got back you really didn’t need to take the day off work

Husband: she can’t sleep later she has to leave the house at 3. It’s not fair for her to be up 24 hours over night on 4 hours sleep.

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MIL: well she still could’ve got up. Guys I’ve had now maybe 5 hours sleep between husband coming in to talk about the drs, getting son to drs, and then getting home, I’m exhausted.

Son got diagnosed with a neck sprain, and between the ibropfen and Calpol seems to be doing better though still won’t move his neck far But it’s just a joke, like how can anyone look at hospital night shifts and be like yeah you’re in the wrong for your *partner* taking some time off so you can sleep for work when he can move his hours around no real consequences.

We’re a partnership last week I took a day off when son had a random fever and under the weather. It’s life, we have a child we both have to make sacrifices for our child’s wellbeing.

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Original post by u/PurpleUnicorn434

Quick Story Summary

Our Reddit mom, a hospital worker, was up from 3 a.m. soothing her 3-year-old son, who was crying from neck pain. After ruling out meningitis, she got him settled, but sleep was a distant dream. Her husband, with a flexible school job, took the day off to care for their son and handle a 10:30 a.m. doctor’s visit, letting her catch a few hours before her 4 a.m. night shift.

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During a FaceTime call, MIL learns this and flips, insisting the OP could’ve powered through on four hours of sleep instead of her son missing work. The diagnosis? A neck sprain, treatable with meds, but MIL’s lack of empathy leaves a sting that no ibuprofen can fix.

Understanding the MIL Conflict

This MIL’s behavior screams entitlement, cloaked in outdated gender roles. Her insistence that the OP “could’ve got up” ignores the brutal reality of night shifts and childcare, revealing a belief that moms should sacrifice endlessly. As Reddit user CharmedOne1789 notes, some MILs, shaped by disengaged husbands, resent modern couples who share parenting duties.

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MIL’s motive? Likely jealousy that her son prioritizes his wife’s well-being, challenging her “I suffered, so should you” mindset. This reflects broader family dynamics where in-laws undermine teamwork, as seen in studies on intergenerational conflict. Her dismissal of the OP’s exhaustion is less about logic and more about control.

Solutions for Handling MIL:

  1. Set clear boundaries: Politely tell MIL that parenting decisions are between you and your spouse.
  2. Limit information sharing: Avoid detailing schedules to prevent unsolicited opinions.
  3. Reinforce teamwork: Emphasize to MIL that you and your partner share responsibilities equally.
  4. Seek support: Discuss MIL’s behavior with a trusted friend or therapist for perspective.

Humor in the MIL Drama: The absurdity of MIL suggesting a night-shift mom should skip sleep to parent solo is almost comical—like telling a surgeon to operate after a red-eye flight. Reddit’s reaperjoy nailed it, joking about MILs who can’t grasp night shifts, expecting noon dinners from exhausted healthcare workers.

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The OP’s husband patiently explaining the obvious while MIL doubles down is peak “boomer logic.” You can’t help but chuckle at the mental image of her FaceTime scowl, oblivious to modern parenting.

See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit users jumped into this MIL chaos with fire!

CaptivaDreamah − How did you come upon this conversation? Did your husband tell you? Because he should be shutting that s**t right down, and then protecting you. Which means not sharing with you the insensitive and unsupportive things that mil said. Your husband was also way too accommodating with that conversation. At her first attempt to b**t into your lives, he should have a strong definitive “Oh, no thanks. Not your business.”

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kwhite0829 − Some people cannot comprehend how night shift or shift work works on a day to day bases!

clariels95 − Some boomer women are deeply misogynistic. They had terrible husbands who did FA for the kids so they project that onto millennials who are raising kids as more of a team effort. They take on this idea that the mum should suffer

and destroy herself rather than the dad giving up anything as a badge of pride rather than admit their husband sucked and deal with processing those feelings. It’s good your husband is on the same page! Sorry about your MIL.

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CharmedOne1789 − I see many stories like this. Here's my read on it. A lot of these MIL had disengaged husbands, left most of not all child rearing to them. They didn't enjoy this. So they raise their own sons to be considerate, loving, and helpful (which is wonderful).

But for some reason unknown to sane people they become JEALOUS when their sons treat their spouses the opposite of what they were treated. It's a 'I did it alone, she can to' kind of mentality. Like ma'am. You raised him to not be an a**hole like his Dad you should be happy.

But alas they are not in fact happy they are Bitter Bettys. They raise their sons to be helpful, loving, and compassionate to THEM. Then become bitter when they treat their actual spouses with these traits. It's gross. They are weird. It makes no sense. Let her be bitter. Kudos to you and DH for working as a team, keep it up. Let her be mad.

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Careless-Image-885 − She has obviously never worked night shifts.. Maybe start calling her through the night into the next day. Tell her that she can get sleep later.

FriedaClaxton22 − First of all, it's none of her business. Your dh needs to let her know that. Second, she can f**k all the way off with her useless opinions. I hope your son heals up fast.

DirectorHuman5467 − Aside from everything else, I really feel for your little guy. When I was like 15, I sprained my neck, and it was exceedingly painful. Got some pretty strong meds from the dr, but still couldn't move my head properly for at least a week.

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DarthKiti − Not to mention, he’s his DAD. Maybe he just wants to take care of his child?

alwaysabouttosnap − She’s just being mean. He gave her every logical reason in the book for why the situation played out like it did and still, in the end, the answer was that you could basically go s**ew yourself. She’s just being hateful. She wasn’t trying to understand the situation or either of your perspectives. She was making the point that she just doesn’t give a s**t about you.

reaperjoy − People just don't understand night shift, I work nights in Healthcare as well, have for 15 years and my mil still can't understand why I won't come to dinners at noon 🙃

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Is Reddit spot-on about this MIL’s bitter meddling, or is there another layer to her cluelessness?

Lessons Learned:

  1. Teamwork makes the dream work: Sharing parenting duties with your partner is key to balance.
  2. Boundaries stop meddling: Keep MIL out of personal decisions to avoid toxic input.
  3. Self-care isn’t selfish: Rest is critical, especially for demanding jobs like night shifts.

This MIL’s insistence that a sleep-deprived mom should “just get up” reveals a toxic mix of jealousy and outdated expectations. Have you ever dealt with an in-law who couldn’t grasp modern parenting? Drop your stories below!

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