AITA for not taking an 11 year old’s word for it?

Outside a lively National Museum, a 20-year-old fidgets, eyeing an 11-year-old girl who’s clearly unimpressed with their art-filled itinerary. Tasked with guiding a family friend’s daughter, they expect a simple day—until the girl demands a latte, claiming her dad’s approval. A quick call to confirm her request seems like a no-brainer.

But the father’s sharp retort turns caution into conflict. This Reddit story captures the sting of a well-meaning check gone awry, pulling readers into a relatable clash of trust and responsibility. It’s a snapshot of modern caregiving, where a single phone call can spark unexpected tension.

‘AITA for not taking an 11 year old’s word for it?’

My(20) dad made some friends when he studied abroad. One of them is on a visit in our country right now, and he brought his daughter(11) with him. He asked if I could take her to our National Museum since it’s ’good for kids to practice some art appreciation.’ I said ‘Sure!’ She wasn’t very enthusiastic about it though.

ADVERTISEMENT

When we were waiting for the opening time, she pointed at a nearby cafe and asked if I could buy her a cup of coffee, saying it’s the least I could do before making her spend two hours look at some boring stuff. I hesitated and she said her dad lets her drink latte so I called him just to check.

He said yes before asking ‘Did you think my daughter is a liar?’ And I didn’t know what to say. It didn’t occur to me that that was what I was insinuating when I was expressing my doubt. I just wanted to be sure.

Ended up buying her oat milk latte(her preference) before taking her on a tour. Don’t know if I was too anxious but when I took her back to the hotel her dad seemed kind of frosty towards me.

Chaperoning a child can feel like navigating a social tightrope, and this 20-year-old’s coffee check shows how easily caution can stir tension. When the 11-year-old insisted her dad allowed lattes, their call to verify was prudent—coffee isn’t a typical kid’s drink. The father’s defensive snap, “Did you think my daughter is a liar?” turned a routine check into a trust issue.

ADVERTISEMENT

This reflects a broader parenting shift toward fostering kids’ independence. A 2021 American Academy of Pediatrics study notes 60% of parents encourage early autonomy, but food choices often stay tightly controlled. Coffee’s caffeine makes it a divisive topic—some parents allow it sparingly, others don’t. The young adult’s caution was a safe move with an unfamiliar child.

Dr. Lisa Damour, a clinical psychologist, states, “Trust is earned through consistent behavior, not assumed in new relationships” (New York Times). The chaperone’s unfamiliarity with the girl justified their call, but the father’s frostiness likely stemmed from feeling judged. His reaction unfairly cast their responsibility as distrust, escalating a minor moment.

To resolve this, the young adult could clarify their inexperience, framing the call as care. Dr. Damour’s work suggests open dialogue to ease misunderstandings. For future outings, agreeing on rules with parents upfront can avoid such snags. This tale highlights the challenge of balancing respect for parental authority with child safety. (AAP 2021 Study, New York Times)

ADVERTISEMENT

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit’s take on this museum mishap was a full-throated cheer for the 20-year-old’s caution, with users calling their verification a smart move. They viewed the father’s icy response as overblown, stressing that checking a child’s claim—especially about coffee at 11—is standard for anyone new to caregiving. Many shared stories of kids testing limits, reinforcing that a quick call was the responsible choice.

Commenters also poked fun at the dad’s sensitivity, suggesting his pride took a hit when his parenting was questioned. The girl’s bold latte demand was seen as classic kid behavior, pushing boundaries with someone new. Reddit’s consensus was clear: the young adult’s caution was justified, and the dad’s chill was his own baggage, not their fault.

ADVERTISEMENT

Elivercury − No way, absolutely NTA. Kids (in the general sense) will constantly push boundaries, particularly with people who don't know any better, and coffee is absolutely one of those things many parents will restrict kids having access to.

I think his response sounds a bit extreme to be honest, you've known this girl presumably for all of two seconds and you've no idea if she's a habitual liar or a saint. If it gets brought up again I'd just play it off as being nervous due to not having much experience with children

ADVERTISEMENT

And while you believed her you considered that her being allowed it in certain situations didn't automatically mean she'd be allowed it in this instance and taking 30s to check seemed the smarter plan than assuming

And potentially causing problems for daughter or father down the line, I'd then probably refuse to be involved with her or her father further if that's the sort of attitude you'll be dealing with tbh.

ADVERTISEMENT

doubleshotofbland − NTA. Checking with a parent before giving a kid you have never met before food is considerate and safe. Maybe they were allowed it one time, that doesn't mean it's universal approval and the kid may misrepresent that even unintentionally.

Maybe the kids would just say 'I'm allowed lattes' and n**lect to mention they need lactose-free milk due to allergies. Or maybe they are a liar because they're 11 and sometimes kids (and adults!) lie when they want something and think they can get away with it.. You did the right thing, the dad was a f**king d**k.

ADVERTISEMENT

Appropriate-Error239 − NTA. My response would have been along the lines of 'I have no idea if she is a liar. I just met her. But I do think she is 11 and you are her father. And that is why I asked.'

SeorniaGrim − NTA I would never assume an 11-year-old was allowed coffee to begin with, so I would have called no matter what. That is kinda nuts. My sister used to let her youngest have 'coffee' at that age as a treat, but it was basically a mug of steamed milk with like a tablespoon of coffee in it lol.

ADVERTISEMENT

Amusingly, I found that out because my niece told me she was allowed to have coffee one weekend I watched them for my sister. I was shocked and called my sister asking her wtf she was thinking, and she explained it to me lol.

FWIW, had anyone spoken to me like that, they would have been drinking water out of a water fountain if they were thirsty. I most definitely wouldn't have bought them anything!

ADVERTISEMENT

GrapefruitNo9284 − Course you're NTA OP. Why on earth is an 11 year old drinking coffee?. Father should be appreciative you took the extra step to verify with him, instead of getting all pissy.. Don't sweat it OP, just back out of this situation. It's more stress than it's worth.

Signal-Table4382 − 'He said yes before asking ‘Did you think my daughter is a liar?’'. When her Dad copped an attitude with you for asking, I would've taken her back to him.

ADVERTISEMENT

Special_Compote7549 − Lol, NTA. She demanded you buy her a latte for taking her to a cool museum? She sucks. He’s pissed because he’s allowing his 11 year old daughter drink coffee? At 11?

And he’s salty you had the audacity to check? Because she’s f**king 11? He sucks too. Don’t talk to them anymore. No field trips. No lattes. You don’t need s**tty people in your life and they’re both garbage.

Exotic_Yam_1703 − NTA. I imagine most parents would’ve been upset if you bought her one without checking first. 11 is pretty young to be drinking coffee so I probably would’ve done the same thing

Limp-Mulberry6465 − NTA sometimes kids push the boundaries and ask for things they know the parents don’t really allow. You did the right thing to check … if it turned out she had an allergy or intolerance and it had made her sick I’m sure he’d be much more pissed about that!

ADVERTISEMENT

Time-Tie-231 − NTA. But her father is. He 'dumped' his reluctant daughter on you and then spoke to you very unpleasantly.

This museum outing, upended by a latte and a frosty father, is a light reminder that caution can spark surprising tension. The 20-year-old’s call to verify a child’s coffee claim was sensible, but the dad’s cold reaction shows how trust can twist small moments. Share your stories of kid-related mix-ups or parental clashes—what’s your take on this caffeine-charged standoff?

ADVERTISEMENT
Share this post
ADVERTISEMENT

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *