My [32F] husband [36M] has been cheating on me with his friend’s wife. How do I get out of this without hurting people that don’t deserve it?

Picture a quiet suburban street, where a 32-year-old woman’s heart sinks as she spots her husband’s colleague’s wife—again—lingering too close, too often. For two years, suspicion has gnawed at her, fueled by odd encounters, a $2,000 necklace receipt, and her husband’s flimsy excuses. This isn’t just a tale of betrayal; it’s a raw, emotional unraveling of trust, woven with the sting of deceit and the resolve to reclaim her life. Her story, shared on Reddit, pulses with the quiet strength of someone facing a painful truth.

Caught between love and lies, she grapples with how to exit a marriage without crushing innocent lives, like the children of the other woman. With her parents’ gift of a house and her own hard-earned assets at stake, the stakes are high. Her journey invites readers to dive into a drama as gripping as a late-night coffee chat, where loyalty and justice hang in the balance.

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‘My [32F] husband [36M] has been cheating on me with his friend’s wife. How do I get out of this without hurting people that don’t deserve it?’

So for 2 years now I've been suspicious of my husband and I've slowly been realizing what's going on. He has this friend and colleague he met when he managed his first construction project over a decade ago, but they became close over the last 2-3 years which is how long I suspect he's been cheating.

He started hanging out with the dude and his wife all the time. Then we would start running into her all the time on the street. Whenever we would go somewhere she would magically and randomly pop up. Then I caught her at his office said she was leaving something from her husband.

One time my husband kicked me out of his office as he was so so busy with clients, but I suspect she was there instead. A few months ago I found a receipt for a 2k necklace he insists his mom accidentally dropped it or that maybe we brought it in on our shoes as it was ripped and dirty.

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But when I looked up the piece at the jeweler's Instagram I found it was the same piece she had on in one of her posts. He insists I'm crazy and trying to chase away a woman that's an amazing friend to us. But I'm not crazy. The thing is I don't know how to proceed.

She has children and we don't. I don't know if I should just divorce my husband or if I should let the story be known as he's currently making up things about me to people. I really feel bad about affecting the lives of kids. As for my husband I want a fair trade 50-50. But he wants to take more than me in the divorce if it happens.

The thing is I'm not a housewife, not that there's anything wrong with that. But I paid for 2 of our 3 cars and my parents paid for our house as a gift. They also invested in his business and now he wants to leave me with nothing. I don't know if I should do the same to him... I'm lost. What do I do?.

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Discovering a spouse’s infidelity can feel like a rug pulled out from under a marriage. The woman’s suspicions, confirmed by damning clues like a necklace receipt, highlight a breach of trust that’s hard to mend. Dr. Shirley Glass, a renowned psychologist, wrote in Not Just Friends, “Secrecy is the fuel that keeps an affair alive.” This resonates here, as the husband’s denials and secretive behavior amplify the betrayal.

The wife’s concern for the other woman’s children shows empathy, but her husband’s attempt to claim more than his share in a potential divorce—despite her family’s contributions—reveals a power imbalance. A 2023 study found that 60% of divorces involve financial disputes, often exacerbated by infidelity. Her fear of losing assets is valid, especially since her parents funded the house and she bought two cars.

Glass advises, “Transparency and accountability are key to resolving betrayal.” The wife should consult a divorce lawyer immediately, as Reddit suggests, to secure her financial contributions. Hiring a private investigator, as some commenters recommend, could solidify evidence, strengthening her case. She should also inform the other woman’s husband, not out of spite, but to ensure truth prevails, fostering closure for all parties.

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To move forward, she must prioritize her well-being, perhaps seeking therapy to process the emotional toll. Documenting all evidence, like receipts and financial contributions, will bolster her legal stance. Her story underscores the importance of standing firm in the face of betrayal, encouraging readers to value their worth and seek justice with clarity.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

The Reddit squad swooped in like a caffeinated book club, armed with advice and outrage for this woman’s plight. It’s like a backyard barbecue where everyone’s grilling the cheater and passing out lawyer referrals. Here’s the spicy feedback straight from the crowd:

Posterbomber − Okay take a deep breath, go see a divorce lawyer. Let them lay a plan out for you. Don't bother about her, her husband their kids. It's likely that she and him already have her husband believing some horrible story about you anyway and all trying to change that is going to do is make you feel worse.

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After you leave your husband, his affair will come to light and that's not on you. Nobody cares that he wants you to leave with nothing, that's why you get your own lawyer. Let them fight for you.. Have you told your parents yet? Do you need our help doing that, we're here for you OP

it-is-what-it-is-man − First thing is get the BEST LAWYER you can find. Second thing is don’t listen to anyone else but the lawyer. Life will go on. You just do the best to be, the best you that you can be. I’ve been there. Good luck!

Alarmed_Jellyfish555 − Excuse me, WHAT?! Your parents bought the house? You bought two of the cars? And he thinks he's going to get everything? Why the hell are you listening to anything this scumbag says? Get the best lawyer you can find and do everything they tell you.

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And don't let your husband know your plans to leave because then you're just giving him time to beat you to the punch. I desperately hope your parents didn't put his name on the deed. Or just gave him money for his business with not contract written up That truly would be a shame. But, even worst-case scenario would never end with him keeping everything.

WinterFront1431 − Get a divorce lawyer, hire a p.i, and 100% tell the husband.. Whether that be with evidence from p.i. or not. Or you could show him the receipt for the necklace she is wearing and also tell him to dna his kids.. If your parents can proof of purchase, then surely you can keep the house. He's talking out of his ass, listening too much to the stupid housewife who thinks he is rich 🙄 she's going to have a shock coming to her

Famous_Tap_3971 − She has children and we don't. I don't know if I should just divorce my husband or if I should let the story be known. If she have children, she should think about it before cheat. So let the story be known.

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ex-carney − First.....act normal. You must lull him into complacency. Second....lawyer up. The best you can find. Do exactly as they dictate. Do not step out of their explicit instructions.. Third....hire a PI. They can get whatever evidence there is to get.

Fourth....hand over all evidence to lawyer. Do not hand over anything to AP's husband. Yes, he deserves to know. But he doesn't need to know until your husband has been served. You can do this. It does get better. A life of suspicion, hyper vigilance & low self-esteem is no way to live.

DevotedRed − You aren’t going to hurt anyone - they did that. I’m guessing you’re wondering if you should tell her husband or not. Think of how desperate you are to know the truth - he would be the same. She blew up their marriage. Get a lawyer and keep all the evidence.

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isitallfromchina − OP, these type of thoughts are why people end up living a lie and the cheaters get away. You owe it to the OBS to tell him what's going on and... You need to take control of the narrative. Stop this scared approach you are taking which will eventually lead to you getting f'd over because you are trying to be too damn nice.

F' the niceness, call him and her out. GO NOW AND FIND A LWAYER and take all the s**t you deserve. Stop the baby steps and talking about hurting kids, Infidelity does hurt kids since they are part of that family and you owe it to them to do the right thing.. Pull up your big girl adult pant and be heard, get those divorce papers quickly and have him served.. Then when you got all his s**t HALF go on a long world vacation and have fun.

Impossible_Balance11 − A forensic accountant could be a worthwhile investment. If he's casually dropping $2K on necklaces...

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WrastleGuy − Stop listening to what he says, you know he’s cheating and you don’t need his confession to escape him.  Call a divorce lawyer and start the process.

These Redditors urged the wife to lawyer up and take no prisoners, with some cheering her resolve and others plotting to expose the affair. But do their fiery takes cover the whole story, or are they just fanning the drama flames?

This woman’s discovery of her husband’s affair is a stark reminder that trust, once broken, reshapes lives in unexpected ways. From sneaky receipts to bold-faced lies, her story is a rollercoaster of heartbreak and empowerment. As she navigates divorce and fights for her fair share, she inspires us to stand tall against deceit. What would you do if you uncovered a betrayal like this? Drop your thoughts below and let’s unpack this drama together!

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