AITA for not bending over backwards for my parents in order to babysit my 18 year old sister?

In this scenario, a 32-year-old woman is faced with an unreasonable request from her parents to babysit her 18-year-old sister while they embark on a week-long cruise. With a demanding work schedule—leaving home at 5 AM, being away until 5 PM, and committed to a bootcamp—the OP explained that her sister, who is legally an adult,

can be on her own for most of the day. Her parents, however, remain insistent that she find a way to supervise her, despite her offering a reasonable compromise: having her sister stay with her in the evenings for companionship. Feeling pressured and setting the boundary for the first time, she snapped at them, which only escalated the tension.

‘AITA for not bending over backwards for my parents in order to babysit my 18 year old sister?’

Setting boundaries in family relationships is a vital step towards preserving one’s mental health and autonomy. Dr. Brené Brown, a renowned expert in vulnerability and family dynamics, explains, “When we set limits, we communicate our worth and our need for respect. It’s not selfish—it’s self-care” (source: [​]). In this case, the OP is faced with an unreasonable request from her parents.

With a packed schedule that includes work and bootcamp, being expected to babysit her 18-year-old sister is not only impractical but also a trigger for old patterns of self-neglect. The issue here extends beyond babysitting; it represents a larger battle against a lifetime of placing others’ needs above one’s own. The OP’s refusal and subsequent reaction—a mix of frustration and assertiveness—reflect a significant personal breakthrough.

Rather than bending over backwards as she was raised to do, she’s drawing a line in the sand. Experts suggest that such boundary-setting, even if it leads to immediate conflict, is essential for long-term emotional well-being. It’s a necessary part of redefining relationships, particularly with parents who have long relied on their children to shoulder responsibilities. Ultimately, the move towards prioritizing one’s health and responsibilities is both a courageous and healthy step.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

The Reddit community is overwhelmingly in support of the OP. Many commenters agree that it’s absurd to expect someone to babysit an 18-year-old, particularly when that person has significant work and personal obligations.

Commenters have pointed out that the parents are acting immaturely by not planning adequate care for their adult child. They consistently reinforce that the OP is under no obligation to rearrange her life to accommodate an unreasonable request, and that the responsibility for ensuring her sister’s safety lies squarely with the parents.

This situation raises important questions about familial expectations and the need for clear boundaries. Should parents expect their adult children to take on roles that conflict with their personal and professional lives? How can families recalibrate responsibilities so that everyone’s needs are respected? We invite you to share your thoughts and experiences—how have you handled similar situations with overbearing family demands? Let’s discuss ways to balance familial obligations with personal autonomy.