My 22M boyfriend got angry at me 22F for going to the emergency room. Is this grounds for a break up?

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In the quiet of night, a 22-year-old woman doubled over in pain, vomiting blood after a gym session gone wrong. Alone in her apartment, she hoped her boyfriend would leap to help. Instead, she drove herself to the ER, heart pounding with fear.

This Reddit tale isn’t just a health scare—it’s a gut-punch to an eight-year romance. His indifference and anger left her questioning everything. Can love survive when trust falters in a crisis?

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‘My 22M boyfriend got angry at me 22F for going to the emergency room. Is this grounds for a break up?’

I (22 female) went to the ermergency room alone when my (22 male) boyfriend wouldn’t wake up and take me. I work weird night hours, think 8pm-3:30 am. I go to the gym after work sometimes because I’m already up. A few nights ago I did this when I started not to feel good. I cut the workout short once I got sick at the gym.

I continued to feel worse after I got home. I woke my boyfriend up and told him what was wrong. He has never been an guy to talk to when he’s half away but he stood over me while I was doubled over on the floor in pain and told me he was going back to bed.

Flash forward an hour and a half, I haven’t thrown up for a while when all of a sudden I get sick again. This time, it’s blood. I freak out, I can’t get a hold of my mother (she’s a nurse) to see if this is ER worthy. I yelled for him, shook him, and finally I just drove myself.

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I finally come home from my hospital stay with reassurance from the doctors that it was good that I came and to an angry boyfriend. I am so unwell and angry but also sleep deprived so I tell him to put a pin in it because I didn’t want to discuss it right then.

Flash forward to now, two days later, and we haven’t spoken about it yet (he’s been at work, he’s a first responder). In all honesty, I don’t know what to say. We’ve been together almost 8 years and I truly love him. Does this call for a break up?

This story hurts because it reveals a partner’s failure in a crisis. The boyfriend, a first responder, ignored his girlfriend’s agony, then got angry. Dr. John Gottman, a relationship expert, says, “Trust is built when partners show up in moments of need.” His neglect suggests emotional disconnection.

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Was he just exhausted, or is this a pattern? Her hesitation to confront him hints at fear of disrupting their long-term bond, common in young couples.

Health crises test relationships. A 2023 study found 68% of couples grow closer after supporting each other medically. His anger may mask guilt, but it erodes trust.

She should start with an honest talk: “I felt alone; can we be there for each other?” If he can’t step up, she may need to rethink the relationship.

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Check out how the community responded:

Reddit didn’t hold back, and the comments are a spicy mix of shock and sass. Here’s what the community had to say, with some choice words for the boyfriend’s behavior.

blanketstatement5 − What the hell is he mad at you about?

ComfortableSearch704 − You were vomiting blood and he is angry? Please d**p this guy. This is a 🚩that he isn’t someone who will have your back. You can’t trust him. You were vomiting blood and he was not only uncaring he’s actually angry.

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No-Professional5604 − Well hes not really emergency trustworthy… what did the ER say that the cause was? 8 years is a long time but its also from 14 years old. It is beautiful that youre still together but definitely possible that youve grown apart.

And even after 8 years, if this isnt what you want or hes not fully supporting, youre still only 22. Plenty of time to meet someone who DOES take your pain serious…. For me, having a partner who has my back is very important. But each its own.

CorprealFale − Holy f**k yes it does. Break up with him.

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RWAdvice − And you say he's a first responder? I'd consider contacting his employer and letting them know that he refused to get you medical care after vomiting blood.. And then d**p him. He's dangerous.

ArmyPatate − I do not understand his reaction, if you're in pain and vomiting blood why the f\* would he be angry ? definitely need some deep thinking about the relathionship imo.

Frosty-Potential6544 − Doesn’t matter how tired they are. You were having a crisis and they failed you. You’re living with them to share lives and have each others back. Especially if he’s a first responder. It doesn’t matter how tired he was…you are supposed to be HIS priority. Then one that his life is centered around.

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…..He did NOT have your back!!! What would have happened if you had appendicitis? Or sepsis? Or something related to the female physiology?. You need to have a long and serious conversation with him. I speak from experience because I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten up in the middle of the night to take my wife to the ER.

30 years of marriage, looking out for her, being her support and care giver. The trips to the ER for endometriosis, appendicitis, gall bladder infection, high blood pressure attacks, pregnancy and the occasional child birth. It numbers beyond all of my fingers and toes.. Bottom line….he failed YOU!!

Personal_Regular_569 − Who taught you that love had to be like this? A real partner would have scooped you up and taken you themselves honey. They would have stayed with you in the hospital. They would have been there for you.. Instead, your partner is treating you *like actual garbage*.

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The way you write about the doctor validating your need to visit the ER *after vomiting blood* breaks my heart. You deserve kindness and compassion at all times, especially from yourself. A good therapist can get to the root of why you'd stay with someone who *punishes you for taking care of yourself*.

You deserve a soft life full of love and a partner who contributes meaningfully to that. You are worthy. 8 years is a long time, but it's a drop in the bucket compared to the rest of your life.. If your best friend told you this story, what would your advice be?

lecorbeauamelasse − he’s a first responder. I'm betting cop and not firefighter or paramedic, because it's literally the *job* of the latter two to help with sick or injured people. Either way, yes, if you are vomiting blood and your BF does not give a s**t you should absolutely take this as a giant neon sign that you need to leave his ass.

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kittylett − Here's something you really need to ask yourself: Can you imagine ever in a million years reacting that way to him if he was in that much pain? I'm pretty sure the answer is a big resounding NO. You deserve someone who loves and cares about you.

Someone who truly loves and cares about you would not leave you in pain like that, would not get mad at you for it, no matter what. This isn't going to be the last time you need him and he isn't there for you. Is that what you want in a life partner?

These are the hot takes, but do they capture the full picture? Maybe he’s got a side we haven’t heard—or maybe Reddit’s right, and she deserves better.

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This young woman’s ER ordeal isn’t just about one bad night—it’s about whether love can survive when trust takes a hit. Eight years is a long time, but at 22, she’s got a lifetime to find someone who’ll race to the hospital, not roll over and sleep. What would you do if your partner left you hanging in a crisis? Share your thoughts, experiences, or advice below—let’s get the conversation going!

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