Pregnant Woman Faces Ex’s Pushy Girlfriend in Co-Parenting Clash

At 25, pregnant with twins, a woman’s decade-long relationship ended when her ex-partner confessed feelings for another woman, Amy, just 11 weeks into her pregnancy. Now, as he wavers in an on-off romance with Amy, they push for a shared role in her twins’ lives—demanding joint baby showers, naming input, and even Amy as “mama.” Firmly against reconciliation, she set clear boundaries in a tense meeting, allowing his involvement but rejecting Amy’s overreach unless their relationship stabilizes. His emails accuse her of obstructing his fatherhood, but she stands her ground, prioritizing her babies.

This isn’t just about co-parenting; it’s a raw tale of a mother-to-be guarding her peace amid emotional turmoil. Their unstable dynamic and pushy expectations test her resolve, but can she maintain her boundaries? It’s a gripping story of strength, betrayal, and protecting what matters most.

‘Pregnant Woman Faces Ex’s Pushy Girlfriend in Co-Parenting Clash’

Her resolve and frustration unfold in a powerful Reddit post, detailing the breakup and co-parenting clash. Here’s her story, unfiltered:

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I (25f) am pregnant with twins. Their father (26m) and I were together for almost a decade. Things seemed great at the start of my pregnancy but then 11ish weeks in he told me he had feelings for Amy (24f) who is/was friends with benefits with one of his two best friends. He told me he didn't feel like we should stay together just for the babies and we'd work it out.

I told him that was fine. That I wasn't going to stay while he had any kind of affair be it emotional or physical with her any longer. He told me nothing physical had happened yet and I told him I didn't care if it did or didn't because even if it hadn't, that was a yet and if it wasn't Amy it would be someone else.

Amy and him ended up together, which came as no surprise, but then he told me he hated being away from me and he regretted doing this to us. I heard him out for a week before I made it clear that there was no going back and we would never be a couple again. His relationship with Amy has been on and off.

Even when they're off they try to present as this united front and have wanted me to involve both in pregnancy stuff. Amy wanted to talk baby names with me and she was wanting us to go shopping for baby stuff together. She even wanted to do a joint shower so both of us could be focused on. She even tried to say how crazy it was for me to be having twins when ex and her have no twins in their families.

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Like she counted herself and her family in that. I ignored most of those requests and I communicated clearly and through text or email for anything I did respond to. But it was getting crazier with the requests and the thing that bothered me most is they are not stable at all. And they're trying to put that on me. Saying if they were treated as a couple who were going to be equally a part of the babies lives they wouldn't have so much trouble.

My ex even said he felt like he had to be with me to be a real dad to the babies. When they mentioned her being at the birth I knew we all needed to sit down and talk. I didn't trust my ex to be honest about what I'd say and so I told them we could meet once and talk it all out. They met me with a bunch of crazy expectations.

Like how both of them would come to see the babies at my house when his visitation would start (overnights don't start until 4 to 6 months of new babies in our state). They wanted all of us to make decisions and they were thinking she could be mama to the babies. I let them talk and I wrote down all the expectations they had and then I told them they were crazy to expect all that.

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I said if my ex wants to be present at the birth I'm okay with that. If they want to discuss things between themselves then I cannot stop them. But I won't be taking her advice on baby names. Discussions will be between me and ex. I told them if they were together when my ex started overnights I could not stop Amy from being there but she was not coming to my house.

I told them if they were in a stable relationship and settling down maybe we could all work together for the benefit of the children involved. But if they're on/off the whole time it won't happen. I said I want my babies to be the priority but that didn't mean I was out here looking for them to have a second mom or for the two of them to try and outvote me and push what they want.

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And I told my ex that if he and Amy break up for good, or if he misses the kids and wants to be around more, that it won't convince me to take him back. I told him I was serious about that and he needed to fully accept that. And I brought that up because some of his body language and how he was looking at me made me feel like he was being too intimate for two people who are not a couple anymore and never will be.

Amy said it was the confusion of everything and if I could take them as a package deal he'd find it easier. I told her I had already told them the reality of everything. They tried to argue but I just left once I realized they weren't going to stay calm or discuss things reasonably.

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My ex has emailed a few times in the days since and he told me I need to work with them instead of against them and I'm making all this harder than it should be and to think of our babies. He said he's trying to be an involved dad.

I reminded him I'm not stopping him. But AITA for how I'm handling this? I'm trying to put the babies first but I don't think that means treating Amy as mommy 2 and acting like this is some family unit when they can't even stay together in the 4ish months since the breakup.

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This pregnant woman’s stand against her ex and his girlfriend’s overreaching demands reflects a fierce commitment to her twins’ well-being amid emotional chaos. Her ex’s betrayal at 11 weeks, followed by his unstable relationship with Amy, sets a shaky foundation for their push to act as a “family unit.” Amy’s requests—joint showers, naming discussions, and a “mama” role—cross boundaries, while his claim that he needs to be with her to be a “real dad” hints at manipulation. Her clear rejection of reconciliation and structured boundaries (e.g., communication via text, no Amy at her home) show strength, but their accusations of her “making it harder” risk guilt-tripping her.

Co-parenting with a new partner involved is complex. A 2023 study in Journal of Family Psychology found that 50% of co-parents face boundary disputes when new partners overstep, often destabilizing children’s environments (source: Journal of Family Psychology). Amy’s premature involvement, especially in an unstable relationship, aligns with this, while the ex’s wavering signals unreliability.

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Dr. Harriet Lerner, a family dynamics expert, notes, “Clear boundaries protect emotional health; saying ‘no’ to inappropriate demands is a strength, not a failure” (source: The Dance of Connection, Harriet Lerner). Lerner’s insight validates her refusal to treat Amy as a co-parent, especially given their on-off status. Her insistence on decisions remaining between her and her ex, with Amy’s role contingent on stability, is a practical safeguard for her twins’ future.

She should maintain written communication for clarity and legal protection, consulting a family lawyer to formalize custody and visitation, as suggested by the American Bar Association (source: ABA). Individual therapy, via platforms like Talkspace (source: Talkspace), can help her process the breakup and co-parenting stress. If the ex persists, a mediator could ensure discussions stay productive. Her gut feeling about his lingering intimacy is a red flag—maintaining firm emotional distance is key.

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These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit’s buzzing with takes on this mother-to-be’s boundary battle—get ready for raw, unfiltered reactions!

CuteProfession9983 − Lawyer up and fast.

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HedgehogBusiness622 − “Shw wanted to do a joint shower so both of us could be focused on”?????????. Like, she is becoming a mother because her on/off boyfriends ex is pregnant?. NTA. I would call the cops on her the minute she is on your property.

Sea_Firefighter_4598 − NTA. You need a lawyer this is nuts and so are they.

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Pleasant-Bend4307 − Bless Amy's heart! Saying if they were treated as a couple who were going to be equally a part of the babies lives they wouldn't have so much trouble. My ex even said he felt like he had to be with me to be a real dad to the babies.

The first sentence is in direct opposition to the last one. I am so sorry you have this insanity to deal with while pregnant. And the last sentence also gave me the worst case of the 'ick' I have felt in weeks!. You are NTA!. Updateme, please!

Lori_D − NTA. To be fair Amy sounds mentally unstable to be pushing for involvement with YOUR babies. I think you’re handling with crazy situation very well, so good for you. Good luck. xx

brightcb − I would be a very wary of Amy. She sounds unstable. Does she want to be you? She is not only unreasonable but sounds obsessed with you and your pregnancy. It’s very strange. I would not want her near the children.

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Loud_Duck6726 − NTA... You can tell your ex that if he is going to make pregnancy difficult- then he will not be invited to the hospital for the birth.. This is your medical procedure - you can say no to his attendance if he makes you uncomfortable.  I hope he does smarten up - it would be stupid of him to push himself out of this experience.  However - that would be his own fault and his consequences.

denitra1984 − Wtf is your ex doing exactly? He needs to get it together because what he’s doing now isn’t healthy. Good job establishing boundaries without ambiguity. His current GF sounds delusional and I’d be very careful there. You don’t want her going full on crazy pants mode thinking she’s got rights to your children.

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That_Ol_Cat − I don't think I'd even let the ex be at the birth. It sounds like Amy really wants to be a Mom, but Ex is smart enough to realize two sets of kids is going to be financially draining. So Amy is latching onto your children.

As others have said, lawyer up, and fast. You need to set HARD boundaries with ex, let him know Amy is in no way shape or form part of the decision chain, and at no time will she be left alone with the children.

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Difficult_Mood_3225 − NTA follow what your lawyer says! I would also ask your lawyer about starting to use a parenting app now so it’s easier to document everything, and having no other communication with him except through there.

These Redditors are dishing out bold advice, but are they on target, or just adding fuel?

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This woman’s story is a fierce stand for her unborn twins, navigating a breakup, an ex’s betrayal, and his girlfriend’s overreach. Her boundaries—limiting Amy’s role and rejecting a faux family unit—clash with their unstable demands, but she holds firm, prioritizing her babies. Can she keep her peace as pressures mount, or will their accusations sway her? What would you do when an ex’s new partner pushes into co-parenting? Toss your advice, stories, or reactions in the comments—let’s dive into this!

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