AITA for refusing to babysit my cousin?

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In a family marked by faded closeness, a 22-year-old college student draws a line when her aunt demands she babysit her 4-year-old cousin for days with little notice, ignoring her exam-packed schedule. Stung by being replaced as the child’s godmother years ago, she refuses, citing classes and resentment, yet guilt gnaws at her for saying no.

This isn’t just about childcare; it’s a clash of entitlement, family expectations, and personal boundaries. Readers will feel her frustration, cheering her stand while wondering if she should ease her guilt or hold firm against her aunt’s disregard for her priorities.

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‘AITA for refusing to babysit my cousin?’

I (22f) have a 4yo cousin. I used to be very close with my uncle (his dad) as a child, but not so much now. We still see each other a bunch of times in the year and live in the same city, we're just not very close. For a bit of context, I was supposed to be the child's godmother.

Before he was even born, it was decided that his godfather would be my aunt's nephew, and his godmother would be my uncle's niece, so me. I was obviously thrilled about this. But about a month or two before he got baptized, my uncle and aunt announced who the godparents would be: my aunt's nephew and my aunt's niece.

Basically, she refused to let my uncle pick one and chose both godparents from her side of the family. She's a very controlling person, but that's a whole different thing. So I've had a bit of resentment since then which contributed to why my uncle and I aren't as close anymore.

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But despite not wanting me to be godmother, my aunt has consistently asked me to babysit my cousin, on more occasions than I can count. She usually asks me not even 2 days prior. The thing that really annoys me is that all of her family lives in the same city, and yet she never asks them.

I'm a college student and have a lot of work and not that much free time, which she knows, but somehow she still always asks me. So I've been feeling a little angry about this because on the one hand she didn't want me to be her child's godmother and reserved that honor for her family only, but on the other hand I have all of the responsibility and I'm the only one she asks to babysit him.

Yesterday she asked me if I could babysit him for the weekend, and until Tuesday evening. I told her that it was very inconvenient because I had exams coming up really soon so I really needed to study and didn't have much free time to look after a toddler, and because I had classes on Tuesday.

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I could technically skip the classes, which she asked me to do, but they are really important and I don't want to miss them. So I said that it wasn't possible for me this time. She's been insisting like crazy, saying that she doesn't have anyone else to babysit him (no idea why her family can't do it), and that they really need my help. When I said no again she sent my uncle to try and talk to me but I told him the same thing, that it was inconvenient.

The thing is, I'm kind of feeling guilty because I technically could babysit him, and it's mostly that I just don't want to, partially because of that resentment. So I feel like I'm a bad person for saying no and I don't know what to do. I also don't want to say yes because I feel like she's kind of using me and treating me like her personal babysitter but I don't know. Is it wrong that I said no?

The young woman’s refusal to babysit her cousin, driven by her aunt’s entitled demands and a lingering wound from being denied the godmother role, reflects a healthy assertion of boundaries. Her aunt’s insistence that she skip classes—despite ample family nearby—shows disregard for her education and exploits her past willingness. The godmother snub, favoring her aunt’s family, adds a layer of betrayal, fueling justified resentment.

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This scenario highlights a common issue: family members often overstep when one person is seen as the “reliable” helper. A 2023 study in the Journal of Family Studies found that young adults in college face heightened stress when family obligations disrupt academic priorities. Her guilt stems from societal pressure to prioritize family, but her education is non-negotiable.

Family therapist Dr. Pauline Boss, author of Ambiguous Loss, advises, “Boundaries protect your goals without severing ties.” She could address the hurt directly with her uncle, saying, “Being replaced as godmother hurt, and constant babysitting requests feel unfair when I’m juggling school.” This might prompt reflection, though her aunt’s controlling nature suggests resistance. Alternatively, she can maintain her stance by responding to future requests with, “My schedule’s full; try your family or a paid sitter,” as Redditors suggested.

To ease guilt, she might journal about her feelings or confide in a friend, as past support has helped others in similar conflicts. Focusing on her studies and self-care—perhaps joining a study group—reinforces her priorities. If she wants to stay connected to her cousin, occasional short visits on her terms keep the bond without enabling exploitation.

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See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit rallied with support and blunt advice—here’s the community’s take:

Plus_Concern6650 − NTA. Don’t skip class to help them out. Your life is just as important if not more than their planned trip! I totally understand the resentment and feeling angry inside especially since they continue to lean only on you. If you really don’t want to watch him anymore you don’t have to feel guilty about it.

Idk if you have ever voiced how hurt you were about them telling you that you would be the godmother and then they just gave it away to only her family members (who never watch the kiddo) but maybe you bring it up to your uncle. It might feel good to get off your chest.

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tiny-pest − Nta. Anytime anyone asks you to skip class to babysit so they can get a break. Possibly have you flunk. You have to pay more and have more debt because it shows no care for you or your life. You are nothing more than the free nanny. Might be hard to hear, but the fact your brother was willing to also ask that of you shows they do not care about you.

It's time to step back. As much as you love your nephew, you need to focus on yourself. Your school. You having a life. Not skipping classes. Not taking a child constantly because she doesn't want to be a mom. So take a step back hunny. Focus on you because unless you are willing to hand your life over to them.

Flunk from college. Give up jobs by being fired. Have to cancel dates. Not able to put a partner first. Because that's what will be expected of you. And when you start placing those boundaries, she is going to use cutting you off to get you to give in and do what she wants. So don't let her get to that point. Tell them maybe this.

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I will babysit for one day or weekend a month. No more. Do not ask for more. The next time you ask me to put my college at risk when you sure as hell are not paying for it. Will be the last time I will watch him. I am done being used and treated as nothing. This isn't family helps family.

This isn't understanding that you need a break. This isn't me being petty or overreacting. This is me being done being abused and used because you chose to have a child and now don't like having responsibility that says you can't have the life you want. I love you, my brother. I love my nephew. But I refuse to have to hand over my life to be a part of yours.. But that is me

Alfred-Register7379 − NTA. Don't feel guilty at all! She wants to sabotage our future by ruining your college grades. She specifically wants you lower than her.... a controlling technique.. Don't babysit, and go on with your life.. Choose you!. Choose your future so you won't have to depend on her, or any other relative, for your money!

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Merfairydust − Here's something I had to learn in my job as well as my studies (working on my PhD): just because you 'technically' have the time, or doesn't mean you have the time. Your school work is your job. Don't skip classes that are important because you 'technically could.

I refused to accommodate clients in the afternoon or evening. Could I do it? Yes. My days are structured to do my day job work in the morning and my studies (and other university-reated obligations) in the evening. Don't assign your job (i.e your studies) a lower value. If you were scheduled for work in your job, would you call out because your entitled aunt tells you to? When she asks, simply tell her your schedule's full.

I had to learn to tell myself that I'm not the only source my clients have. They'll just have to find someone else. Neither are you her only resource. She sees you as a commodity. Tell her to find another babysitter and to consider *gasp* paying for one! Once I learned to give my studies the same value as my job, my life changed and I didn't feel all the guilt anymore.

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cattripper − NTA. It’s their kid. You should not be skipping classes to accommodate their activities that doesn’t appear to include their child. It’s them who should be skipping whatever activity they are planning without their child if they cannot find a babysitter. This is totally backwards. Just say no.

NoPlatform5151 − NTA it is not your child and you have no obligation to look after it, also you should not just skip classes because of what someone else has asked you to do

IsometricDragonfly56 − Hey, if you need time to study, if you need time to chill, if you have absolutely no good reason, say no. You don’t need a reason. And if you don’t need the money (I imagine a whole weekend would be a pretty hefty payday!) then just say no. No. It’s a complete sentence.. And if they’re not paying you, never say yes again.

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Gullible_Bar_7019 − NTA no is a complete sentences. More over, do they pay you? 4days babysitting is insane! . You've exam that are more important than your uncle&aunt weekend without their child. Don't be a doormat or feel guilty. If you let them bully you know, you'll never be able to have free time again! 

TeenySod − Even without the background/history and just looking at this single interaction: she has asked you to babysit for 3? 4? days with about 2 days notice, then got angry when you said you couldn't AND explained why. She is entitled AND rude. NTA, and for the future 'No' is a complete answer: never apologise, never explain - 'Unfortunately (note, NOT sorry) I am unable to do that for you.'

Dharling97 − NTA. She's clearly only interested in you when you can give her something, tell her to stop bothering you and ask his God parents instead. Furthermore even if you had gotten the title of godmother, and were the absolute best of friends,

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the moment someone asks you to skip classes for something that clearly isn't a life or death situation, they instantly becomes the AH. You should NEVER compromise your education like that, so of course you tell them no, and if they push it, ask them what the hell is wrong with them.

These fiery responses bolster her resolve, but do they resolve her guilt? Reddit’s passion fuels debate, yet her path needs balance.

This student’s stand against her aunt’s entitled demands showcases courage in prioritizing her future, even as guilt tugs at her heart. Her story urges us to honor our boundaries amid family pressures. Readers, have you faced unfair family expectations? How did you hold your ground? Share your wisdom below—let’s support her strength!

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