My (20F) BF(21M) wants to break up with me over a plastic bag. What do I do?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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In a bustling supermarket, a young woman tosses groceries into her cart, unaware that a forgotten 30p plastic bag will unravel her evening. Her boyfriend, rather than brushing off the mistake, brands her a “thief” in a crowded store, his words sharp enough to sting. Limping home with bleeding blisters and a heavy bag, she’s left humiliated, her heart bruised by his unrelenting “lesson.” Now, their fledgling romance teeters on the edge of a breakup.

This Reddit tale is a gut-check, exposing the raw sting of public shaming over a trivial slip. At just a few months in, her boyfriend’s harsh reaction raises glaring red flags, leaving readers to wonder: is this a one-off or a glimpse of worse to come? It’s a story that crackles with emotion, urging us to weigh love against respect in the heat of a 30p mistake.

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‘My (20F) BF(21M) wants to break up with me over a plastic bag. What do I do?’

My bf and I have been dating for a few months. We went to the supermarket 3 days ago to get some groceries. I forgot to bring a bag from home so I decided to get a bag from the store. He was planning on staying the night at mine and I got a few groceries that I was gonna cook with for dinner because he doesn't cook and some other stuff for me.

We get to the checkout and I end up forgetting to pay for the plastic bag. My bf got mad at me and made me carry the bag through the town. We end up going into a clothing store and I kindly ask him if he could hold the bag while I try something on and he responded with, 'I don't carry bags for thieves' and told me to put the bag down and go try the clothes on.

I did that and when we got to the queue for the checkout I was looking at the accessories they sell by the queue. My bf then turns to me and asks, 'Are you gonna steal that too? Because you like stealing things coz you're a thief'. He was loud when he said this, enough for other people to hear (the store was really busy and I used to work there as well).

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I felt so humiliated. I quickly payed for my stuff and rushed home. I was wearing new shoes that day and got blisters on my feet that were very sore and were bleeding. The bag was quite heavy and that didn't help either. When we got home, he asked me, 'Have you learned your lesson yet? Are you gonna pay for the bag next time?'

I was extremely upset by the whole situation so I brought it up to him today and how I felt really belittled and humiliated. His response was that he didn't care about the bag and if he really cared about the bag he would have reported me to the security of the store. He said it was the principle of not taking something that's not yours.

I understand where he's coming from and he did apologise for making fun of me in the clothing store. I tried to express why it made me upset yesterday but he kept bringing up the bag and he said he'd make me carry it again if I didn't pay for it. The bag was 30p.

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I felt like he wasn't listening to me and he said that I wasn't understanding the real problem. He ended up getting frustrated and walking home at 3am because he thought it was for the best and we both needed some space. In all honesty I think this is silly and I don't know if I should break up with him because of how this all turned out.. Any advice?

A forgotten 30p bag shouldn’t end in public humiliation, but this boyfriend turned a molehill into a mountain. His reaction—berating his girlfriend, dismissing her pain, and doubling down—screams control, not principle.

The young woman’s hurt is valid; his behavior crosses into emotional abuse. Psychotherapist Dr. Terri Cole explains, “Public shaming is a power tactic, often used to diminish and control” (Psychology Today). By calling her a “thief” loudly and making her carry the bag despite blisters, he prioritized dominance over empathy. His apology, overshadowed by defensiveness, rings hollow.

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This reflects a broader issue: about 1 in 4 young women experience emotional abuse in relationships, per a 2023 Loveisrespect survey (Loveisrespect). Early red flags, like this incident, often escalate. Dr. Cole advises, “Trust your gut when respect feels violated.” She should set firm boundaries or consider leaving, as his dismissal of her feelings suggests deeper issues. Therapy or a trusted friend’s perspective could help her decide.

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

The Reddit posse swung in like a wrecking ball, unloading a chorus of “dump him” with zero chill. It’s a fiery blend of shock, outrage, and a few choice words for the boyfriend. Here’s the unfiltered take:

Musician_First − Don't get back with him, this is nuts it's almost hard to believe. It would be one thing if you were a shoplifter stealing expensive stuff I could get why he'd be upset but this being a bag is wild. This situation is so dumb to be upset about and considering this is only a month old relationship at least you aren't losing much

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[Reddit User] − 🚩🚩🚩His true colors are showing. D**p him. Luckily, you haven't been dating very long, so you haven't wasted much time with this AH.

OrwellianIconoclast − You should absolutely break up, this is ludicrous. A few months in and he's already verbally berating you in public over a mistake? Punishing you like you're a child? Cut your losses. If he's already this comfortable treating you like that, it's going to get way, way worse

CandiiiCaneLane − What the hell? This is absolutely insane. Bags here cost like 5 cents. I can’t imagine anyone being so bent out of shape over such an absurd thing. His disrespect for you is strong. If he will belittle you over something some trivial, you are in for a very unhappy life with him. End it now!

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PileaPrairiemioides − It’s only been a few months and he’s already punishing you for making an honest mistake. He humiliated you in public. He was satisfied that you were in physical pain and he wanted to cause you emotional pain. You made an innocent, trivial mistake. He subjected you to a day of verbal and emotional abuse.

The idea that he is in any way principled is absolute b**lshit. His behaviour was infinitely worse than what you did, and absolutely nothing you did or could have done justifies how he treated you. Break up with him.

This will only get worse, until you’re anxious and walking on eggshells around him all the time and he’s finding excuses to cut you down and humiliate you and he’s yelling at you for crying in public all the time.

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whenitrainsitpours4 − Yes, I would d**p him over ThE PrInCiPaL. I don't know how you continued to go from store to store with him acting like a j**kass intentionally trying to humiliate you over a cheap disposable bag. I would have left his ass in the line and told him to go home right then.

Like what was his end game goal? Embarrassing you because he doesn't see you as an equal and felt the need to punish you and teach you a lesson? Who the actual fk does he think he is? The bar of expectations for men must be somewhere down in hell for women to put up with this s**t and then wonder if they should continue to put up with it.

That jerk probably didn't have any problem eating the meal you cooked for him with the food you paid for, carried home by you in the cheap bag you forgot to pay for. I would tell him right where he can shove his principals.

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Briella_Gem − He sounds like a truly terrible person and you should break up with him.

FrenchTeaParty − why’s he acting like he’s a saint? a 30p bag is no big deal, especially to these massive corporations. Him humiliating you over the bag in the shop is such a red flag as well. to me it sounds like he’s looking to start a fight and enjoys making you feel like s**t over the smallest things. Honestly i’d probably leave him. If he’s acting this way a few months in, imagine how he will be a couple years in.

[Reddit User] − He’s an abusive a**hole who’s using this non issue to control and humiliate you

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goreprincess98 − Please break up. He is mean.

These Redditors are waving red flags like they’re at a parade, urging her to bolt before this guy’s behavior worsens. Some see his “principle” as a flimsy excuse for cruelty; others just want her out of this mess. But do their snap judgments miss any gray areas, or is this as clear-cut as it seems? One thing’s for sure: this plastic bag saga has everyone talking.

This story is a stark wake-up call: love shouldn’t come with a side of public shaming. Over a 30p bag, this young woman endured cruelty that cut deeper than her blisters, revealing her boyfriend’s true colors. Walking away might be her strongest move, but it’s a tough call in a fresh romance. Respect, not control, should anchor a relationship. Have you ever faced a partner’s overreaction that made you question everything? Share your stories below!

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