I (25 F) am considering divorcing my husband (26 M) after only 2 weeks. Is this marriage salvageable?

Jonathan Hours
Comments 0 Comments

A man in his early 40s, let’s call him James, sits across from his fiancée, Emma, their hands intertwined but his heart heavy with a secret. Years ago, a lottery win transformed his life, yet he told Emma his wealth came from a tech licensing deal. Now, with marriage on the horizon, the truth feels like a ticking time bomb. He loves Emma deeply, but the fear of shattering her trust looms large.

This story isn’t about deceit for personal gain—it’s about protecting love from the complications of wealth. James wants to come clean before their vows, but how do you confess a life-altering truth? His dilemma, shared on Reddit, pulls us into a heartfelt tale of trust, love, and the courage to be honest. It’s a story that resonates with anyone who’s ever feared a truth might change everything.

‘I (25 F) am considering divorcing my husband (26 M) after only 2 weeks. Is this marriage salvageable?’

My husband and I have been bestfriends for a long time and I trust him more than anyone but now feel as if I don’t know him at all. Less than a week into our marriage my husband asked me if we could open the marriage and start hooking up with other people together (suggesting threesomes and swapping with other couples.)

I have been cheated on in every relationship I’ve ever been prior to this one and have deep rooted trust issues that he knows about and has tried to help me through. This question felt extremely insensitive to ask me considering my past and how soon after us just getting married that he’s asking to sleep with other women.

I have repeatedly in past relationships been made to feel like I’m not enough and this has only brought up all of that past trauma again. I really want us to be happy but am struggling to move past this. The whole situation has made me deeply insecure and I can’t help but feel like my husband doesn’t see me as good enough.

He’s very reassuring but I’m not sure how to move past this. He tends to be pretty secretive. I don’t have his phone password or anything and he stays in contact with people he used to sleep with before we were together.

He hides his phone when scrolling through his pictures to show me something. He just does a lot of things that make me feel insecure that I don’t feel a husband should do. Is there any way to salvage this marriage? I’ve talked to him about the things that make me insecure and he just tells me I shouldn’t be and brushes it off.

Revealing a hidden fortune to a partner is like walking a tightrope—balance is everything. James’s hesitation stems from a universal fear: will love survive the truth? Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, once said, “Trust is built in very small moments” (source: The Gottman Institute). Here, James’s delay in honesty risks eroding those moments, but his desire to come clean shows commitment to rebuilding.

The conflict hinges on differing perspectives. James hid his lottery win to protect the authenticity of their bond, a choice rooted in caution, not malice. Emma, unaware, has accepted his vague backstory, focusing on their emotional connection. This secrecy mirrors a broader issue: financial transparency in relationships. A 2023 survey by the National Financial Educators Council found 65% of couples argue over money-related secrets (source: NFEC).

Dr. Gottman’s advice emphasizes “turning toward” a partner through open dialogue. James must approach Emma with vulnerability, explaining his reasoning without defensiveness. A satirical jab at his “boring programmer” excuse might lighten the mood, but sincerity is key. Offering to fund her own lawyer for the prenup signals fairness—a step toward mutual respect.

For solutions, James should choose a quiet, distraction-free setting. He can share the truth, emphasizing love over money, and give Emma time to process. Professional guidance, like mediation, can help them navigate the emotional fallout, ensuring both feel valued. Honesty, paired with patience, can pave the way for a stronger bond.

See what others had to share with OP:

Reddit’s hive mind never holds back, and this story sparked some spicy takes. Here’s what the community had to say, served with a side of humor:

RubyJuneRocket − He’s already cheating on you if he asks you this a week after getting married.

A_Single_Man_ − That’s called a bait and switch. Literally less than a week???? He’s also stupid and tactless. Having an open marriage is one thing but it’s not something one does after standing at the alter announcing one’s vows. You still have time to annul. Research annulment in your state and make that decision thoughtfully. For me he broke a sacred bond.

How are you supposed to trust him ever.  “When people show you who they are, remember them the first time”. This is not to say that you knew but it is to say that it’s time you did something about it because if you say no to an open marriage it’s somewhat likely he will sleep around and put you in danger of contracting an STD.

skyblueshirt − I’m just going to say this, your husband is a jerk! Trust your instincts, you’ve been cheated on so you should know the signs. Normally I am all about working things out but I truly believe that he stepped over the line knowing well of your past. Consider him a mistake and ditch him!

[Reddit User] − Try to get an annulment. Best of luck to you.

Holiday_Horse3100 − He wants it all -you the agreeable and forgiving wife and the girlfriend for fun. The girlfriend may even be of long standing. Your well-being is more important than staying married to this person.

SomeGuyIncognito − Looks like you married an imposter. It doesn't really look salvageable, and you'll realize that later on.

420fixieboi69 − Here is what this sounds like to me (a random guy on Reddit who doesn’t know either of you): Most of the time when one partner spontaneously asks for an open relationship out of the blue it means that they have someone in mind that they want to sleep with. They do this to justify it, because they don’t want to cheat.

It sounds to me like this guy locked you down because he wants a wife and a side piece. The fact that he waited until after you all were married so it would be more difficult to leave him is terrible. It seems like he could have brought this up before.. The whole hiding the phone thing feeds into this theory.

Have a brutally honest conversation and know what your red line is. Ask him if he has someone in mind that he wants to sleep with. Ask him why he is so secretive with his phone. Be direct and point blank. Mentally prepare to hear the worst case scenario. Mentally prepare to leave the marriage.

Honestly, I know a 2 week marriage may seem like a failure, however the longer you drag it out the harder it will become to leave. If you wait 2 years then you all might buy a house together, co sign on a car, have a kid, joint bank account etc… The longer you stay married the more ties and anchors you have with a person. If you don’t trust him then get out now. You may even be able to get an annulment depending on the state.

Commercial_World_834 − Seek an annulment based on fraud

throwawayadvice12e − Nope. It only gets worse, coming from someone whose husband started having meltdowns a week before our wedding. And waited until our honeymoon to tell me he was a s**/porn addict. And then cheated on me 6 weeks after the wedding while I was pregnant. F**k that. If you say no, he'll just go cheat and hide it from you. It will ONLY get worse and worse and worse.

I wish I'd cancelled the wedding after that first meltdown. Do NOT give a s**t what anyone thinks, do not tell yourself that you made a commitment and you have to follow through. You made a commitment to someone who was actively conning you in order to get you to marry them, you didn't sign up for them to completely switch the second you were locked in. Literally leave as soon as humanly possible, if people ask tell them exactly what he did.

Apprehensive-hippos − The time for him to bring up potentially opening the marriage was long before the actual wedding.  And the phone hiding? That's just fuel on the fire of your concerns. Maybe he believes that, after signing the marriage license, you'll have that sunk cost feeling and he can take advantage of it. Don't be that person. 

This (open) marriage is not what you signed up for or wanted, and he was not an honest narrator before you married.  He deliberately misrepresented himself and what he wanted your marriage to be.  If you are desirous if a monogamous marriage, then he is not the husband for you. Oh - and get a full STD/STI screening.  Your health is important, and you cannot trust that he has your health or best interests in mind.

These are Reddit’s hot takes, but do they hold up in real life?

This tale of hidden millions and looming vows reminds us that love thrives on truth, even when it’s scary. James’s journey to confess his lottery win is a testament to the power of vulnerability. But what’s the right move? Should he spill the beans over candlelit dinner or wait until the prenup talks? What would you do if you were in his shoes, balancing love and a life-changing secret? Share your thoughts and experiences below—let’s keep the conversation going!

Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *