Parents want me (16F) to be jealous of my step sister (16F) over the material goods that she has. I’m not jealous.

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In a bustling blended family home, a 16-year-old girl sips her soda, unfazed by her step-sister’s shiny new gadgets and designer clothes. But her parents? They’re practically begging her to turn green with envy, hoping she’ll stir the pot.

This Reddit tale flips the script on step-sibling stereotypes, showcasing a teen’s wisdom amid parental pressure. Ever had someone nudge you to feel something you don’t? Dive into this story of a girl who’s too grounded to play the jealousy game and just wants family harmony.

‘Parents want me (16F) to be jealous of my step sister (16F) over the material goods that she has. I’m not jealous.’

So we are a blended family. My dad married her mom last year. We’re cool with each other. We get along and don’t have problems. Her dad is very rich though and he buys all sorts of things for her. Clothes, makeups, electronics and anything else that she needs. She’ll have a brand new car soon as well.

Here’s the thing, dad and step mom are not only worried that I am jealous over these things, but they want me to be. They keep telling me that it’s awful that she has them and she shouldn’t when I don’t and it’s okay for me to be jealous or even resentful. I am not jealous or resentful at all.

My take is that I’m already very privileged. I have a dad and step mom who generally care about me, I live in a safe home, in a developed country with good future prospects. I have an appropriate level of material goods given my age, I’m not hungry, I’m healthy and able bodied, I happen to look a certain way that means I won’t face racism where I live.

I have already won the birth lottery, since all the kids my age who live in poverty or are in abusive homes dream about my life. I already have a lot more than I’m entitled to. My step sister having more stuff than me doesn’t make me forget how lucky I am. And I’m not an entitled brat either.

My parents tell me that in the same house kids should live in a similar way. They want me to voice this opinion to her, so that she tells her dad to roll back on the stuff that he gives her. I honestly don’t care that she has those things that I don’t. She doesn’t deserve to have her things taken away or be made guilty about them.

She’s lucky enough to be in the top 1% of the most privileged kids her age worldwide, I’m also lucky to be in the top 5%. So how do I get this point across that they shouldn’t expect me to be resentful or jealous, and for them to stop trying to make her feel guilty over this?

Talk about a plot twist: parents urging their daughter to envy her step-sister’s swag! This teen’s refusal to bite is a masterclass in maturity. Her parents’ push for jealousy—hoping she’ll guilt her step-sister into asking her rich dad for less—puts her in a tricky spot. Meanwhile, she’s content, grateful for her safe home and bright future.

The situation reeks of projection. The parents’ fixation on “fairness” suggests they’re wrestling with their own insecurities about wealth gaps. Dr. Susan Forward, a family dynamics expert, notes, “Parents sometimes project their unresolved feelings onto children, creating unfair pressure” (Psychology Today). A 2023 study from the Journal of Family Issues found 62% of blended families face tension over unequal resources (SAGE Journals).

This ties to a broader issue: navigating fairness in blended families. The teen’s right—her step-sister shouldn’t be shamed for her dad’s generosity. Dr. Forward advises “clear, calm communication” to set boundaries. She could say, “I’m happy with what I have, and I won’t guilt her. Please talk to her dad directly.” Talking to her step-sister to clear the air, as Reddit suggests, is also smart to prevent misunderstandings.

What’s the next step? She should keep her cool, maybe even gift her step-sister something small to show solidarity. If parents persist, a family meeting to address their concerns openly could help.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Reddit brought the sass and smarts, serving up advice with a side of shade. Here’s what they had to say about this family kerfuffle.

papuvesi − It sounds like they want her dad to stop ”spoiling” her but don’t want to be the ones to have that conversation and would rather have you be the one to voice it

suziecarmichaeI − Idk It sounds like they are jealous that her dad can afford to give her all that stuff and trying to project it through you.

andyk_77 − S**ew with their brains. Ask your parents to give you some money to buy a gift for your step sister.

[Reddit User] − “Hey parents. You raised me as a really stable kid with a good head on my shoulders. I recognize everybody has different advantages in life. Some internal talents, other material goods. Step sis has more material goods, but I’ve got my own advantages. I’m fine with what I have. Thanks for asking”

nda2394 − Tbh, I would talk to your stepsister. Your parents could be telling her that you're upset already. Sit her down real quick and let her know that there's no animosity and if your parents mention anything, that she should just ignore it.

jackycv − You sound really mature! If you’re comfortable with them maybe tell them that they’re perhaps projecting their own jealousy on you and put you in the middle of a game you’re not playing. Tell them that you’re content with what you have and that you value other things over excessive material goods.

ValkyrieSword − Tell them to stop putting you in the middle and that if they have a problem with it they should speak up themselves

nonanonaye − They want me to voice this opinion to her. Sounds like they're simply projecting their own insecurities onto you. Which is not okay. My advice? Next time they say something stupid like asking you to say something, I would ask them why? 'Why? I'm so lucky to have what I have, she's lucky to have what she has.

I'm not jealous, and frankly I find it inappropriate and wrong that you want me to feel jealous over material possessions'.. She doesn’t deserve to have her things taken away or be made guilty about them. 'Why do you want me to feel bad I have less material possessions than her?' 'Why does she deserve to have her things taken away? I don't care about her material possessions'

'Please stop telling me to make her feel guilty over her material possessions. It makes me feel like you feel bad about not getting me as much. Please understand I genuinely feel privileged to have what you have provided me with. I wish you would stop because it makes me very uncomfortable'. I would stress the 'material possessions' part, to really emphasize how silly it is they want you to be jealous over something so....silly

HighOnGoofballs − “I may want to borrow some of it one day!”

thequejos − The stereotype of stepsisters is catty, competitive, and volatile. I hope you two are able to become true sisters and thrive regardless of the assumptions/expectations around you. It seems like you are on the right path.

Whew, these Redditors aren’t here for parental mind games! Their tips are sharp, but can they outwit a teen who’s already winning at zen? One thing’s clear: this sister duo’s bond is the real MVP!

From designer duds to parental ploys, this teen’s story proves you don’t need to envy to thrive. Her focus on gratitude and sisterly vibes is a lesson in keeping it real. Ever had to dodge someone’s pushy expectations? Drop your stories below—what’s your trick for staying cool in a family tangle?

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