Mom thinks our relationship could be better. I’m happy where it’s at but don’t know how to tell her.

The phone buzzes, and her heart sinks—a text from Mom, all syrupy hope, wanting a “good chat” to mend their frayed bond. For this 28-year-old woman, the message stirs a cocktail of dread and guilt, like reopening a book she’d rather leave on the shelf. Her mother, once a storm of alcohol-fueled chaos, is now sober, navigating a messy divorce, and craving a Gilmore Girls-style connection. But the scars of a childhood marked by neglect, verbal lashings, and broken promises linger, painting every call with unease.

Growing up, she dodged her mom’s drunken outbursts and navigated a house where love felt conditional. Now, with her mother’s newfound sobriety and pleas for closeness, she’s torn between compassion and self-preservation. The Reddit community rallied around her post, offering raw, heartfelt advice. Can she honor her boundaries without crushing her mom’s fragile hope? Let’s dive into her story and see what unfolds.

‘Mom thinks our relationship could be better. I’m happy where it’s at but don’t know how to tell her.’

The OP’s dropped an update on the saga—curious? Click here to check it out!

Family ties tangled by addiction and neglect are like knots that take years to unravel. This woman’s hesitation to embrace her mother’s outreach reflects a deep, understandable wariness. Her mother’s blanket apology—lacking specifics—feels like a band-aid on a broken bone, and her push for closeness ignores the emotional labor required to rebuild trust.

Dr. Lindsay Gibson, a clinical psychologist and author of Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents, notes, “When parents fail to acknowledge specific harms, their apologies can feel hollow, leaving adult children stuck in a cycle of mistrust” (source). Here, the mother’s vague remorse sidesteps accountability, leaving the daughter to carry the emotional load. The OP’s dread signals a need to protect her mental health, especially given her mother’s history of boundary violations.

This story taps into a broader issue: the societal expectation that family ties must be preserved at all costs. A 2021 study from the American Psychological Association found that 40% of adults report strained family relationships due to unmet emotional needs in childhood (APA source). The OP’s low-contact approach is a valid shield, not selfishness.

Advice: She could respond with calm honesty: “I’m glad you’re doing better, but I need space to process our past. Let’s keep things as they are for now.” Therapy, like cognitive-behavioral approaches, could help her manage anxiety triggered by these interactions (NAMI resources).

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit’s finest didn’t hold back, dishing out advice with a side of sass and sympathy. Here’s what the community had to say:

These hot takes range from blunt boundary-setting to cautious optimism, but do they capture the full messiness of real life? Let’s see what resonates.

This daughter’s story is a raw reminder that family isn’t always a Hallmark card—sometimes it’s a tightrope walk between guilt and self-care. Her mother’s sobriety is a step forward, but healing decades of hurt doesn’t happen on demand. By holding her ground, she’s choosing peace over obligation, a brave move that sparks both empathy and debate. What would you do if you were in her shoes? Share your thoughts below—have you ever had to redraw family lines?

For those who want to read the sequel: [UPDATE] Mom thinks our relationship could be better. I’m happy where it’s at but don’t know how to tell her.