Me (28F) with my SO [30M] 1.5 yrs, I was helping him out financially, and I had a crisis that he doesn’t believe just because I don’t want to help him anymore.

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In a quiet apartment, a 28-year-old woman’s heart sinks—her bank account’s down to $2. Her mother, once trusted, fled to Germany, stealing everything. She’d been bailing out her boyfriend’s debts, but now, broke, she faces his doubt, accusing her of dodging support.

His mistrust stings worse than the theft, leaving her lost. Can she prove her truth and save their bond? Readers, brace for a raw tale of betrayal and broken trust.

‘Me (28F) with my SO [30M] 1.5 yrs, I was helping him out financially, and I had a crisis that he doesn’t believe just because I don’t want to help him anymore.’

Oh boy, d**zy time. I'm using a throwaway because I don't want this linked back to me someone. Travis and I have been together for 1.5 years, when we met he was in a little bit of financial trouble and I was able to help him but I never offered because I didn't want money to become an object in our relationship so quickly, and he also has a good job with income to support himself, but not pay his massive student debt or bills, just to support himself.

After about a year (so 6 months ago) after seeing that this relationship is promising and we both agreed, heading on the marriage route at some point or another (no set plans on when, could be 1 year could be 5 before we get engaged we aren't in a rush). I told him I could help, and I pretty much insisted on doing so.

I've paid off about $6,000 of debt so far, and have been paying for his rental car every month (which is about $1,000 a month for the last 3 months, he has HORRIBLE credit and I didn't have enough to outright buy him a car). I have also been helping out with a few bills here and there (I have ALWAYS offered for what I pay for, he has never insisted or asked, we always discuss and he's never been selfish and always very grateful).

After some time I was able to have enough to buy him a nice car and exactly what we wanted. We agreed to have my name on the title but have him insured to drive it until we get married. We live in a state that neighbors a state (about 3 1/2 hours away) that always has SMOKIN' deals on cars.

We were all set to buy one and then my medical bills from about a year ago came to haunt me (I had ovarian cancer, but now in remission YAY!) and it halted our tracks to buy the car for a few weeks until I could settle my bills or find a way to pay them off since the bill was quite extensive, they aren't kidding when they say cancer is an expensive sickness.

Anyways, that was about 3 weeks ago, last night we went golfing and I could tell he was a little bit on edge/stressed out. So I asked him what was up, I had gotten a little bit behind on paying the $200 a week for the rental car and he was feeling stressed since the bill was due and he had $10 in his account.

I told him I would write him a check and we could meet up for lunch tomorrow and I would give him a check for that and the amount of the car that he wants so that he could feel at ease. I got home late after our date and logged onto my banck account to only find $2 in it. I FLIPPED, there was a huge withdrawal from my account.

I went and looked at what had happened and lo and behold. When I was 24 my dad passed away and my mom had no income and was struggling so I piggybacked her onto my bank account so that she could have some support. It worked out really well for a couple of years and then she got a job and didn't need my help, but her name was never taken off of my account (stupid on my part, but I had always trusted her and had no reason to believe she would do anything malicious).

About 6 months ago she ran off with her boyfriend to Germany. It was...weird. And really had an impact on me where I'm an only child and was left parentless. She cut off all contact and really just kind of abandoned me. I've really struggled with it, but I mean people do weird things.

Travis thought it was really strange at the time and almost didn't believe that she had just run off to Germany, but he's never met my mom, as she lived in another part of the US then I did and Travis and I never got around to visiting her. Anyways I'm getting off track, like I said, this is a D**ZY. My mom had made the withdrawal. All of my money.

I had a long talk with my bank and an attorney, and legally I cannot do anything about anything. Her name was on my account, I had supported her in the past, legally she didn't do anything wrong. Morally, yeah she done did fucked up. I haven't been able to get ahold of her, and honestly I really don't think I'm able to. So I texted Travis after all of this and told him what was going on, I asked him to be calm since I was freaking out and needed some moral support.

His response? If you didn't want to help me out you could just say so. He went on about how whenever he really needs help or I'm about to make a big purchase for him there is something that just conveniently happens. These big things that are just so rare that they don't happen. I get that, and I 100% understand his point of view.

But I am also frustrated and don't feel trusted, but I get it, it is like Hollywood s**t status. I am going over there later tonight after I gather myself since I am stressing the hell out. I don't even know how to broach this with him where he can trust me.. Help. I don't know what to do.

The OP’s dropped an update on the saga—curious? Click here to check it out!

Financial support in relationships can be a tightrope, and this woman’s fall is brutal. She poured thousands into her boyfriend’s debts, only to be robbed by her mother and doubted by him. His accusation—that she’s dodging support—ignores her crisis, revealing a trust gap. Her generosity, once a bridge, now feels like a burden.

A 2022 study in Journal of Social and Personal Relationships (Source) shows financial imbalances in couples often erode trust when one partner prioritizes self-interest. Here, his skepticism suggests he values her money over her emotional needs, a red flag.

Dr. John Gottman, a relationship expert, notes, “Trust is built when partners prioritize each other’s well-being” (gottman.com/blog). His dismissal of her distress fails this test, hinting at manipulation. She deserves support, not suspicion.

She should show him bank statements to clarify the theft, but also set boundaries: “I’m hurt you don’t believe me; I can’t keep funding you.” If he doubles down, it’s time to reassess. Therapy, like Pia Mellody’s work on codependency, could help her rebuild self-worth.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit’s on fire like a bank heist gone wrong, unloading raw takes on this betrayal saga. From calling out red flags to urging her to ditch the doubter, users don’t hold back on her boyfriend’s selfish streak or her mother’s theft. Here’s their unfiltered dive into the dram:

AnferneeBourdain − You are a being a sucker and you're being guilted and accused of lying because Travis's gravy train has to momentarily stop because you were robbed. He doesn't care about comforting you, he doesn't care about investigating further, he only cares about 'where is my money you need to give me money me me me me'. If you want to be a thankless sugar momma that's fine, but at least everyone needs to be open about it.

Ethelfleda − Honey....you need to stop being a sucker.. Your boyfriend is using you for an ATM and your mother is despicable. Your boyfriend should be supporting you over your mother's betrayal but instead...you need to prove that you're trustworthy?????

Did hearing that make you realize how fucked up that is? Your boyfriend should know you. Since your relationship is so good that you feel comfortable helping him financially...shouldn't he be able to trust you?. You have some criminally low expectations for a partner. You deserve better.

eshtive353 − Can't you just show Travis your bank account with the huge withdrawal by your mom? Like, I'm assuming that your bank statement also has information about where the withdrawal was made. If you show Travis a bank account with no money in it

and a withdrawal from Germany (or wherever your mom is now), he'll believe you. The bigger issue is why he was so quick to think that you're lying about this and something that you two will have to talk about. For one reason or another, your bf doesn't trust you, at least about this.

ophelias32 − Ok so you are in this together. I get that. I see you bought him a brand new snowmobile as well as paying his bills. What has he done for you? I'm sorry but somebody who is having the financial trouble that he is in, would have returned the snowmobile and put that money on his bills.

He sounds irresponsible and is basically you are his mother. You pay his bills, buy him expensive gifts and he throws a temper tantrum when you can't give him what he wants. Is this the type of man you want to marry? Somebody whose priorities are snowmobiles and diet plans over paying his own f**king debts? And I'm sure that snowmobile was well played hinting.

Oh I wish I had the money for a new snowmobile, oh well maybe someday, sad face. And I would really like to try this diet, but I just can't afford it, it really sucks because I want to get healthy. Also, you had this conversation while golfing? Golfing is an expensive hobby. Not horrible but it does cost money.

Why is he golfing if he does not have enough money to pay his own bills???? You are not married, this is not a sickness and health situation, this is a grown ass man who is extremely manipulative and has found his fairy godmother. If he was any kind of decent person he would not have accepted any of your gifts and gotten a 2nd job to pay off his bills, if he has time to golf and snowmobile he has time for a 2nd job.

He is taking advantage of you and manipulating you. But now he has shown his true colors. Take this as a sign and while you may hate your mother for what she did, you should thank your lucky stars that it has shown his nature. Selfish, entitled, and extremely manipulative.

Of course he is back tracking now because he knows he fucked up and if he doesn't make nice then the ATM you are will be closed. Please respect your self, do not feel like you need to buy your man's love, and leave him now. Otherwise he will suck you dry and leave you when you are nothing but and empty shell.

cathline − A relationship is give and take. In his mind, that means you give and he takes. Not a keeper

teresajs − You're really naive. Travis is using you the same way your mother has used you. He's a 30 year-old man! Stop giving him money or paying for stuff.. Also, if you haven't already, get your own bank account with no one else's name on it.. Put yourself first. Let others take care of themselves. Leeches are robbing you of your money and life.

GenericDreadHead − Firstly, wow, I'm so, so sorry OP :(. Your mother sounds like a despicable character and your boyfriend is really not handling this well at all.. I'd would make NO apologies to him for ANYTHING.. You were just f**king, straight up, robbed by the woman who gave birth to you.

If he doesn't want to be 100% there for you in 100% of the ways he can, kick his ass to the curb. This is one of those times he needs to suck it up and get on with how bad he might feel for himself and start putting on brave face and getting on board with Team Financialwoes123

acciointernet − Holy s**t, after reading your comments...PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE find a relationship therapists and seek therapy. Your understanding of what a healthy relationship looks like & your self esteem/expectation of what you deserve in a relationship need a LOT of work.

No one with healthy boundaries would EVER, EVER put up with what you have put up with from your (hopefully ex) boyfriend. Keep in mind that most people tend to seek relationships that mirror the relationships we had with our parents/were demonstrated by our parents in childhood.

Those of us with abusive or neglectful parents tend to find abusive or neglectful partners later on in life, because that is what we expect/assume a loving relationship should look like. I really think you would benefit a LOT from therapy. Also consider checking out Pia Mellody's books - The Intimacy Factor, Facing Love Addiction, and Facing Codependency. Lack of proper boundary-setting is a red flag for codependency/love addiction.

[Reddit User] − He went on about how whenever he really needs help or I'm about to make a big purchase for him there is something that just conveniently happens.. The nerve of that guy! You are paying for his car and he still dares to complain! All that guy cares about is your money. I'm sorry, OP. You just found out there are 2 self-centered people in your life. You're better off without both of them.

silverraven1189 − I really hate to tell you this, but your boyfriend is using you. You just had your mother betray you and you asked Travis to give you emotional support. Any caring boyfriend or friend would ask you if you're okay, if you want to talk or a hug, and if there's anything you needed.

Instead, he asked about money. His first concern wasn't about your well being and you. It was about your money and whether you'd give it to him. After all you've helped him out, all he cares about is manipulating you out of money. Don't believe for a second that he thought you were lying to him. He knew you weren't lying and he's trying to guilt you into dipping into your savings/investments so the gravy train doesn't stop.

What you do is tell him that you're not lying to him, and to be able to pay off your own bills and build up your savings you won't be able to give him any more money or pay any of his bills. If he actually cares about you, he'll apologize for not believing you and being selfish and comfort you. If he only cares about your money, he'll flip out, accuse you of lying and try to guilt you into giving him money.

These Redditors sling tough love and sharp insights, painting her boyfriend as more cash-chaser than partner, while others push for proof to shut down his doubts. It’s a debate as heated as a courtroom showdown—some say run, others say talk. Are they nailing the truth or just stoking the fire?

This saga of stolen savings and shattered trust leaves us questioning who’s really in her corner. Her boyfriend’s doubt cuts deeper than her mother’s betrayal, but her strength shines through. Have you faced a partner who didn’t believe your truth? How did you rebuild—or walk away? Share your stories and advice below—let’s unravel this tangle of love and loyalty.

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