My [31F] husband [33M] of 4 years has a weird relationship with his pregnant coworker [23F]. I’m not sure if I should be worried or not?

Step into a quiet suburban home, where a 31-year-old woman watches her marriage strain under her husband’s unusual devotion to his pregnant coworker. Over five months, his gifts of money, time, and emotional support—far beyond typical coworker kindness—raise red flags, from a $250 check to driving her to OB/GYN appointments.

When her attempts to voice concerns are met with accusations of selfishness, she’s left torn between trusting his “good deeds” and fearing deeper motives. Is she overreacting, or are her instincts signaling trouble? Let’s dive into this Reddit drama, where generosity blurs the line with betrayal.

‘My [31F] husband [33M] of 4 years has a weird relationship with his pregnant coworker [23F]. I’m not sure if I should be worried or not?’

My husband has worked with Kelsey for the last two years, and I never thought anything about their relationship was strange until now. For the past 5 months--the amount of time that has lapsed since my husband found out that Kelsey was pregnant--he has gone out of his way to support her in a way that makes me uncomfortable.

I might be able to understand his actions if they weren't so extreme, but they mostly strike me as downright strange and out of character for him. For one, when he found out she was pregnant, he came to me and asked if he could give her $1,000 to help her with some of her expenses. He said that Kelsey's baby's father was out of the picture and she was struggling.

I don't know Kelsey personally, but I can sympathize with her situation. I agreed to let him write her a check for $250. I did think this was odd, though, because my husband has never been all that charitable. I've never known him to be the type of person that goes out of his way to help a coworker or a stranger, but whatever.

A few weeks later my husband came to me and again asked me if we could help Kelsey out. This time he wanted to buy a pram for Kelsey. The one he had picked out was quite expensive, so I wasn't comfortable with just giving him the okay. We spent about a week discussing it before we finally agreed to purchase a cheaper one for her. This came after he asked her if the second one would be okay.

I took this opportunity to ask him how much more money he wanted to spend on Kelsey and her baby. We had already spent $500 on them at this point, and I was starting to get concerned. We had a fight about this where he accused me of being selfish. He said that he was trying to do a good deed for someone and that he thought I would be happy to support a young mother-to-be like Kelsey and her baby. I did feel a little guilty afterwords, so I backed off.

Fast forward to last week. I found out after the fact that my husband had bought a $150 giftcard to Babies R US for Kelsey as a Christmas present. We had another fight about how much money he's spending on her and her baby, and again he accused me of being stingy. I asked him how much more he planned to spend, and he told me that he didn't know.

I asked him if he could see how this situation could make me uncomfortable and how it might lead me to think something was going on between them. He said that he was disappointed that I would think his good deed was anything other than him trying to help a coworker. He has been giving me the silent treatment since that fight and making passive-aggressive comments, which is frustrating.

I can't get him to understand that my concerns are legitimate. Besides, it's not like we have the ability to keep spending this kind of money on Kelsey. In addition to spending money, my husband also has spent a lot of time helping Kelsey in other ways. He's spent time fixing up things around her apartment before the baby comes and doing other odd jobs for her.

All of this makes me extremely uncomfortable, but anytime I bring it up he accuses me of trying to stop him from helping someone in need of assistance or being greedy. He won't acknowledge what I think is very worrisome behavior. At this point I wonder what I'm supposed to do. I think he really is trying to do a good deed, but part of me worries that something else is happening.

I don't want to believe he would cheat on me (he's never given me a reason to suspect this), but I can't help but wonder sometimes, especially when he's gone with Kelsey to her OB/GYN appointment on two occasions, though he claimed it was because she needed a ride. Does he have a point? Am I being selfish for hassling him over helping Kelsey?

How should I try to get him to understand his behavior is making me uncomfortable? I'm not sure how I should handle this situation. Nothing seems to be working. **tl;dr**: Husband has spent a lot of time and money helping his pregnant coworker. This makes me uncomfortable, but he says I am being greedy for trying to discourage him from doing a good deed. Am I worrying over nothing, or are my concerns justified?

The OP’s dropped an update on the saga—curious? Click here to check it out!

Marriages thrive on transparency, but this husband’s intense support for his pregnant coworker crosses boundaries that unsettle his wife. His financial generosity—$500 spent, plus a $150 gift card—and personal involvement, like fixing her apartment and attending medical appointments, suggest an emotional investment beyond workplace camaraderie.

Relationship therapist Dr. Shirley Glass notes, “Unclear boundaries with third parties can erode marital trust, even without infidelity” (Not Just Friends). His defensive reactions and silent treatment when questioned further fuel suspicion, signaling a lack of empathy for his wife’s concerns.

This reflects a broader issue: inappropriate workplace relationships can destabilize marriages when priorities blur. A 2022 study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found 65% of spouses report distress from a partner’s close opposite-sex friendships (Sage Journals). The wife’s compromise—agreeing to some aid—shows flexibility, but her husband’s refusal to set limits or acknowledge her discomfort escalates the tension. Reddit’s speculation about paternity, while unproven, underscores the gravity of his over-involvement.

Dr. Glass advises “open dialogue and clear boundaries to rebuild trust.” The wife could propose meeting Kelsey to clarify the dynamic or insist on couples counseling to address his defensiveness. Her financial concerns are valid, as their resources aren’t limitless. If his behavior persists, a deeper issue—emotional attachment or worse—may surface.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit buzzed with skepticism and support, questioning the husband’s motives and validating the wife’s unease. Here’s the community’s raw take on this marital mystery.

lalalaurrenn − That's his baby.

miserylovescomputers − Sounds like she's pregnant with his child tbh.

[Reddit User] − Most likely scenarios are:. 1) he is the father of the baby. 2) he has feelings for her. 3) she is blackmailing him for something

[Reddit User] − Yup, gotta hop on the 'it's his baby' bandwagon.

allyourcritbotthings − I don't know how you haven't asked him if he's the father at this point... this is just really weird behavior. It'd be one thing if you guys had kids of your own and were done with babies, so he was just offering up anything you had in good condition that you would have otherwise donated, but he's taking a very, very active role in her pregnancy. And I don't know how you find out why, because he doesn't want to tell you.

Dunkindoh − Have you met her?. Have you asked to meet her?. If not, you should.

Yetikins − Does Kelsey even know you exist?? She's definitely pregnant with your husband's child, the only questions are has he been lying to her about his marital status and are you going to make him truthful when he tells women 10+ years younger than him he's single?

vg360 − His behavior sounds extreme, and your concerns are justified. It sounds like your husband is infatuated with her, or is getting some sort of kick out of giving her charity. Think about giving him an ultimatum to get him to stop. Could also tell him that he needs to put double the amount he's given to her into an emergency fund for you two.

h0nestly-- − I wasn't even halfway through your post when I was convinced that it's his kid. Paternity test as soon as you can.

notantisocial − I am currently pregnant and I can tell you from reading the pregnancy subs that even fathers that are very committed to their marriages, wives and babies, even some of them are not that involved with the baby. My husband has made every appointment he could but he is not fixing everything little thing around the house and spending $2k on baby things.. It's f**king weird.

These Reddit reactions are bold, but do they capture the full story? Perhaps the husband’s generosity masks guilt or infatuation, or the wife’s patience is her strength.

This tale of checks, prams, and OB/GYN visits poses a nagging question: when does helping a coworker cross into betraying a spouse? The wife’s discomfort isn’t about denying aid—it’s about protecting her marriage from unclear motives. Trust requires honesty, not defensiveness. If you suspected your partner’s actions went too far, would you confront them, seek proof, or set an ultimatum? Drop your thoughts below and let’s unravel this Reddit dilemma!

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