My (M28) engagement with my partner (F27) is ruined because of a ring?

Jonathan Hours
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In a serene Korean village, a 28-year-old man proposed to his 27-year-old girlfriend with a custom ring, her joyful “yes” captured in golden sunlight. It was a perfect moment—until the $1,500 ring was deemed “fake” by jewelers, unraveling their engagement into a family feud.

The fiancée’s parents, believing the ring was intentionally cheap, question the groom’s sincerity, while his parents, who sourced it, feel insulted and withhold their blessing. In a culture where family approval is everything, can this couple salvage their love, or will a ring’s worth define their future?

‘My (M28) engagement with my partner (F27) is ruined because of a ring?’

My partner and I have been together for 3 years. We both love each other since the very beginning. She has brought up the topic of marriage for a while, and so I decided to I proposed to her last month in Korea where she grew up. I custom made the gold ring, with a ruby and 3 diamonds on each side, but asked my parents to make it with their regular jewellery shop they've been going to for a while, out of town.

I also organised a professional photographer, then asked her to marry me in a tradional korean village. She said yes and everything went very smoothly, except that the ring was too big. She stayed a bit longer in Korea while I returned home for work. She went with her mom to a jewellery shop the following week, and asked the ring to be made smaller.

The issue started when the shop attendant said the whole ring was fake; the gold, ruby, and the diamonds. I paid $1500 for the ring, not a crazy amount, but i thought it was a pretty ring. She went to 4 different shops and everyone said pretty much the same thing. One shop valued the ring at only $30-40..

My partner and her mom were understanding at first, saying that we would not have known. When she came back from Korea, she told me that her parents were very upset about the ring and that my parents (because they 'made' the ring) only valued her $30. They refused to meet my parents which was initially organized for the end of the year.

Her mom said to her that it would be better if I admitted about the fake ring, with a view of buying a proper one in the future. These implied that we gave her a fake ring on purpose. My parents were very upset and told me that they wont bless our marriage.. Question: Is the ring really the problem here? Im not sure how to move forward now. I never knew a ring can potentially break our 3 year long relationship.

A proposal is meant to symbolize commitment, but when a ring becomes a battleground, it reveals more about family dynamics than carats. The groom’s situation is a classic case of miscommunication amplified by cultural expectations. In many Asian cultures, family approval is a cornerstone of marriage, and a ring’s perceived value can reflect respect—or disrespect—toward the union.

The fiancée’s parents, stung by the ring’s low appraisal, likely feel their daughter was undervalued. Meanwhile, the groom’s parents, accused of deception, are defensive, especially if they, too, were misled by their jeweler. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, notes, “Trust is built in very small moments, and when those moments are mishandled, it can lead to lasting resentment” (The Gottman Institute). Here, the lack of transparency about the ring’s quality eroded trust between families.

This issue taps into a broader societal pressure: the expectation that a ring must carry a hefty price tag to prove love. A 2023 survey by The Knot found that 60% of couples face family scrutiny over engagement ring choices . The groom’s oversight in not verifying the ring’s authenticity, coupled with his parents’ choice of jeweler, sparked a preventable crisis.

For resolution, an independent appraisal is crucial, as suggested by Reddit users. If the ring is genuine, as recent tests suggest, the couple should present evidence to both families, fostering open dialogue. If fake, the groom’s parents must address their jeweler’s scam. Couples therapist Esther Perel advises, “Rebuild trust through accountability and shared goals”. The couple should prioritize unity, setting boundaries with their families while planning a path forward together.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Reddit’s armchair detectives didn’t hold back, serving up a mix of sleuthing and sass. Here’s what the community had to say about this glittering debacle:

uninspiredusername9s − Your first stop should be to tear down the door of your parents jeweler. If they really didn't know then I'd go right to the jeweler. Your parents should have their jewelry checked too

PopYoBox − Either your parents are very cheap when it comes to money, or your jeweller is a scammer and a thief.. Neither option is great.. 

BigBlueHood − So instead of apologizing, compensating you and tearing down the shop your parents are now pretending to be the victims and bashing your future marriage? Looks like your parther is right, they did it on purpose. Her parents are not the problem here, yours are. Find out what really happened and where the money went.

ccl-now − It is very easy to get an independent and unbiased evaluation of the ring, both the metal and the stones. Do that.

[Reddit User] − Pretty sure your parents know the ring was fake.

sneeky_seer − Did you get the rink valued yourself by an independent jeweller?. Also… you are in your late 20s and your parents are dictating your relationship. The ring itself is not the issue, the deception is. I don’t understand how you are completely glossing over the fact that it really sounds like you got scammed.

Ornery_Suit7768 − It’s fake. I had the same one. The crest diamonettes were real and the gold was real but the ruby was costume. I got $30 for the gold, kept the gemstone and diamonds to give to my daughter.

excel_pager_420 − Very confused here. You didn't know the ring was fake? So your parents have been using a jeweller that's conned them into buying fake gems all this time? And you've made no gestures to apologise to your fiancé and let her know this was a massive mistake? I completely understand why she feels insulted by your family and suspicious. It comes off as you were deliberately planning on passing off a fake ring for her engagement ring. 

Beck2010 − Get an independent appraisal done by a gemologist that’s not connected to your family. Have the ring properly appraised by an independent third party with no skin in the game. You stated in your edit that a pawn shop has tested the gold and found it to be genuine; so keep going and get the ring fully appraised.

If the ring, after an independent appraisal, is found to be genuine gold, diamond, and ruby - what then?  Your fiancée thinks it’s fake as does her family. You accused your parents of scamming you. And now, instead of being adults and communicating, her parents won’t meet yours and yours are rightly upset by this.

So. Get it appraised. Heck, before the appraisal go to an independent jeweler and have the stones diamond tested. If the ring is real, your fiancés parents have a lot of crow to eat. If the ring is fake, your parents have a very shady business and they need to make this right.

Churchie-Baby − Are your parents not worried that heir stores jeweller is ripping them off?

These hot takes are spicy, but do they cut to the heart of the matter, or are they just adding fuel to the family fire?

What started as a romantic proposal has become a lesson in trust, transparency, and the weight of family expectations. Whether the ring is real or fake, the real challenge for this couple is navigating their families’ pride and prejudice. By seeking an independent appraisal and fostering honest conversations, they can rebuild bridges—or decide to forge their own path. What would you do if a single piece of jewelry threatened to derail your love story? Share your thoughts below!

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