AITA for refusing to settle outside of insurance after someone ran a red light and hit my car?

Shirley Stafford Hours
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Picture a sunny afternoon, the light turns green, and just as you ease forward—bam! A car barrels through a red light, crunching your fender before speeding off into the horizon. That’s the heart-pounding moment our Reddit storyteller faced, left stranded on the roadside with a crumpled car and a fleeing culprit. When police finally track down the young driver, they beg to skip insurance to save their rates, but the OP stands firm. It’s a tale of accountability clashing with desperation, where trust takes a backseat.

This story isn’t just about a fender-bender—it’s about integrity and consequences. The audacity of a hit-and-run driver pleading for leniency stirs up questions: should empathy trump justice? Let’s peel back the layers of this roadside drama and see where the rubber meets the road.

‘AITA for refusing to settle outside of insurance after someone ran a red light and hit my car?’

Just like the title says: A driver ran a red light just as mine turned green, which caused me to hit their car. I immediately pulled over to the side of the road to avoid blocking traffic and called the police. During that time, the other driver left the scene. When the police arrived, I gave them my statement.

They told me they would try to identify the other driver using traffic cams, but couldn’t make any promises. Since I had no contact or insurance info for the other party, I filed a claim with my own insurance to get my car fixed. The damages came out to about $2,500, and I also had to pay a deductible.

A few days later, the police were able to identify the driver and shared my contact info with them. Almost immediately, I got texts and calls from the person asking me not to go through insurance because it would make their rates skyrocket. I was honestly shocked.

They made no attempt to reach out before getting caught, and had they not been identified, I would’ve been left to deal with the full cost on my own. I told them I wasn’t comfortable handling this outside of insurance. The accident, the damage, and the fact that they fled the scene all made me feel like this needs to be handled formally.

I later found out from the police report that they’re in their early 20s. Maybe it was a mistake or panic, but it doesn’t change what happened.. AITA for refusing to settle outside of insurance, even though it might hurt their insurance?

A red light runner’s split-second mistake left the OP’s car battered and trust in tatters. Fleeing the scene only deepened the dent, making the driver’s plea to bypass insurance feel like a dodge too far. The OP’s insistence on formality reflects a need for accountability, while the driver’s panic hints at youth and inexperience colliding with consequences.

Car accidents are more than metal and money—they’re a societal pulse check. The Insurance Institute for Highway Safety reports over 1.7 million rear-end collisions annually in the U.S., often tied to distracted driving or signal violations (iihs.org). Hit-and-runs, like this one, complicate recovery, with 11% of crashes involving a fleeing driver, per 2021 AAA data (https://newsroom.aaa.com).

Dr. David Yang, executive director of the AAA Foundation for Traffic Safety, notes, “Fleeing an accident undermines trust and burdens victims with unfair costs”. Here, the OP’s refusal protects their interests, especially after the driver’s initial evasion. Their youth may explain panic, but not accountability.

For solutions, the OP did right by sticking to insurance, ensuring legal and financial clarity. Readers might advise documenting all communication with the driver and consulting an attorney if disputes arise.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit’s crew rolled in with opinions hotter than a summer blacktop. From fiery calls for justice to empathetic nods at youthful mistakes, here’s what they had to say:

Waste_Worker6122 − Had the exact same thing happen to me. Insist that the police charge him with leaving the scene of an accident. You'll have to go to court to testify to insure a conviction. If you're out of pocket for anything tell the judge during the victim impact statement. This guy already tried to s**ew you by running. Nail him. Obviously you would be crazy to trust this guy to settle outside of insurance. NTA.

StAlvis − NTA I got texts and calls from the person asking me not to go through insurance because it would make their rates skyrocket.. #Good. People who run red lights shouldn't be driving **at all**. In a just world, that would disqualify them from driving for life. If it takes prohibitively high insurance rates to keep them off the road, so be it.

295Phoenix − NTA Bet someone's driving with no insurance!

Kattiaria − NTA. I was in a car accident last nov that has definitely caused damage to my spine, gave me whiplash, and i have ptsd after it. I was driving through a green light when a car just turned in front of me. Driver was freshly 18 and had a suspended licence.

I was asked if i wanted to ask the court to be more lenient on him (last month when he was due in court to face his charges) I told the officer that no, i did not and what he got was his own fault. Same officer called me to tell me he got 2 years in jail with 5 years probation after, for driving without a licence, reckless endangerment,

and operating a motor vehicle resulting in bodily harm. I really have to say i was hoping for alot more than 2 years. Anyways you are nta cause when you cause an accident you pay for your mistake. my reckless i**ot driver wasnt insured so needs to pay back my insurance for the 40k car he caused to be totaled

high_on_acrylic − If they wanted to beg to not go through insurance they should have done so right after they hit you, but they chose to speed off instead

juliabwylde − Why are you worried about being an a**hole to someone who hit you and then ran away? I don't think you're in the right sub, I think you need to be in a sub that helps you practice self-confidence, and common sense. Honestly yta for even asking this question

WoodenSympathy4 − You know what makes insurance premiums go through the roof? Hit and runs.

Eva_and_Logan − NTA Exactly the right approach. 100% formal all the way. Clearly not trustworthy and they are lucky for not being charged with hit and run !

BeneathAnOrangeSky − I’ve gone outside insurance before for minor wrecks that were my fault. I gave them all my insurance info and said they could change their mind at any time if they felt uncomfortable. Going outside insurance IMO is doing someone a favor. A person who flees the scene lost the right to any favors.

p0tat0meow − hiii first off, NTA. when I was 19 I was not paying attention while driving and I rear ended someone, causing them to hit the car in front of them. I did not flee the scene but I was scared shitless. everyone was really nice about everything but we did it all the right way and I truly learned a valuable lesson from that. people need to be held accountable otherwise they'll just keep being f**king dumb all the time.. some of them will still be dumb, I'm sorry.

These Reddit takes pack a punch, but do they steer toward fairness or vengeance? Let’s reflect on the road ahead.

This tale of a red light runner turned fugitive driver leaves us at a crossroads: justice or mercy? The OP’s resolve to go through insurance feels like a guardrail against betrayal, yet the young driver’s plea tugs at our empathy. It’s a reminder that every crash carries human stories. Would you have given the driver a chance to settle privately, or stuck to the formal route? Hit the comments with your thoughts!

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