AITAH for refusing to make my nephew new pancakes?

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A woman wakes early, stirring batter for special Passover pancakes, hoping to delight her nieces and nephews. But her 6-year-old nephew’s tantrum over chocolate chips turns her kind gesture into chaos.

The father blames her for the hour-long meltdown, but she stands firm, unwilling to remake breakfast. This isn’t just about pancakes—it’s a clash of boundaries and parenting styles, begging the question: when does kindness bend to a child’s demands?

‘AITAH for refusing to make my nephew new pancakes?’

The other day I was with my nieces and nephews and offered to make them special pancakes for breakfast. I got up early and made sure to ask the kids if they wanted plain, blueberry or chocolate chip. They all agreed on chocolate chip. The pancakes were homemade and very time-consuming. The kids were about to go on a long outing so they needed a good breakfast.

I start serving the pancakes and the 6 year old freaks out that they don’t like chocolate chip pancakes and starts having a whole tantrum. They claim they thought I was referring to making cookies and not pancakes. The father asked if I can make a new batch of plain pancakes and I said no, it takes 20 minutes and this is what we have for today.

Plus, I’m not going to give in to a six year old. The tantrum lasted over an hour the father kept trying to soothe the child, but they were inconsolable. They finally convinced him to eat cereal. The father then blamed me for the one hour delay, saying I could’ve made a new batch of pancakes in the meantime.

To me that feels like enabling and I’m not going to give into a six-year-old’s irrational tantrum. I offered to make pancakes another day, but I was not making a new batch for one child. They didn’t even try the pancakes. Mind you, the younger sibling happily ate something else.

Edit: to those saying the pancakes shouldn’t have taken 20 minutes. These were kosher for Passover so the batter was very different than usual pancakes. They didn’t come from a box. I didn’t have a non stick pan or a spatula so they were difficult to make. The meltdown only happened after the pancakes were all cooked.

I wouldn’t have added chocolate chips to the pan if they asked for plain. The kids all love chocolate and during the year they get chocolate chip pancakes all the time. I offered to make them plain pancakes the next morning, which I did. I even found a better recipe. The father’s response: it doesn’t matter cuz he wanted them then, he didn’t want them the next day.

Edit 2: the tantrum only started after all the pancakes were made and we gave my nephew a plate. I would have left some plain if he asked for them. And yes, they were very time consuming cuz they were special gluten free Passover pancakes and I didn’t have my usual cooking utensils.

This pancake predicament is a classic case of good intentions meeting a parenting crossroads. The aunt’s effort to make special, time-consuming pancakes was met with a 6-year-old’s tantrum and a father’s blame game. Her refusal to whip up a new batch wasn’t just about time—it was about not rewarding a meltdown.

Her stance aligns with setting boundaries. “Children learn from consequences,” says Dr. Laura Markham, a clinical psychologist specializing in parenting (source: Aha! Parenting). “Caving to tantrums can reinforce negative behavior.” The nephew’s hour-long outburst suggests he’s used to getting his way, while the father’s inaction points to inconsistent discipline.

This reflects a broader issue: a 2022 study by the American Psychological Association found 60% of parents struggle with managing tantrums, often due to enabling behaviors (source: APA). The father’s expectation that she remake pancakes shifts responsibility, undermining her effort and authority.

What’s the fix? Dr. Markham suggests, “Validate feelings, but hold firm on limits.” The aunt could’ve offered cereal sooner, but the father needed to step up. Moving forward, clear communication about food choices and consistent parenting can prevent repeat meltdowns.

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

Reddit’s takes are as bold as a double-shot espresso—sharp, direct, and full of sass. Here’s what the community dished out:

Mintyfresh2024 − Why couldn't the father make something? Nta

Outrageous-Victory18 − NTA, in my opinion, but I’m sure I’ll be red arrowed into oblivion. Just because dad doesn’t have a backbone doesn’t mean you can’t have one.

Affect-Hairy − Come on. Of course not. No placating terrorists of the 6yo variety

Hi__lau − NTA why didn‘t dad make s new batch of plain ones? I mean the hour tantrum would have been enough time to make one.

Tracie-loves-Paris − NTA. You gave the child what they asked for.

Mission-SelfLOVE2024 − Six year olds are too old to have a tantrum for an hour. That was a battle of wills to determine who was running things and your brother lost. This is not your problem to solve.

IssyEmmitt4 − NTA. Seems like the children are rather spoilt and the parents are enabling the children's misbehaviour. He should have told them to be appreciative that you made the pancakes and convince them to eat at least some of it

WhiteKnightPrimal − NTA. First, you weren't the only adult capable of making something for breakfast present at the time, dad could easily have made some new pancakes or something else for HIS kids. Second, you clearly asked if they wanted pancakes and gave them three options to choose from. No way does a 6 year old mistake 'pancakes' for 'cookies'.

The kids chose chocolate chip, not you. It's possible they didn't think they'd like blueberry, they may not know that flavour, and didn't want plain so chose the only other option, but it was still their choice. Dad should know what his kids do and don't like, so if they really don't like chocolate chip pancakes, he should have said something before you started making them.

Then there's the tantrum. The fact it lasted an hour suggests that the 6 year old is used to using tantrums to get his own way. This is basically confirmed by the dad trying to get you to make a new batch while otherwise failing to stop the tantrum. Yes, since the tantrum lasted an hour, you could have made a new batch in that time, but why should you?

You were kind enough to make them pancakes of the flavour of their choosing, it's not your fault they chose something they know they don't like and didn't even try. The kids need to learn that the world doesn't revolve around them and they won't get what they want just because they throw a tantrum.

The 6 year old is old enough to learn this, should have already learned it enough that tantrums don't last an hour. All dad had to do was get the kid something else to eat for breakfast, and the kid would have been happy. It's not your job to feed those kids or deal with their tantrums,

especially when dad is right there, you were just trying to do something nice. If dad is still blaming you for his child's tantrum, remind him that he's perfectly capable of making pancakes or something else for his kid all on his own, and it's not your fault the kid knowingly chose a breakfast he knew he wouldn't like.

Pleasant_Event_7692 − The parents spoiled the six year old to the point where he won’t take no for an answer. It’s not your job to give him whatever he wants. Don’t let the father badger you into giving in to his kid. If his parents refused to raise him that’s their problem not yours. Tell the father you’re not giving in to tantrums.

KronkLaSworda − NTA. Their dad can deal with their spoiled demands. I would wait until they mature a few years before offering them scratch made pancakes again.

These Redditors rally behind the aunt, but are they too quick to roast the father? One thing’s certain: the internet doesn’t mess around when pancakes are at stake.

This breakfast saga flips the script on family dynamics, revealing how a simple meal can spark a battle of wills. The aunt stood her ground, refusing to let a tantrum dictate her morning, while the father’s blame game missed the mark. It’s a reminder that kindness doesn’t mean caving, and parenting takes teamwork. So, what’s your take? Would you remake the pancakes or let the tantrum fizzle out? Drop your thoughts—how would you navigate this sticky breakfast mess?

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