AITA for not opening the door for my friend and her partner that passed by without notice? Plot twist: she wanted to ask me as godmother for her baby who she is pregnant with?

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A quiet Sunday morning takes a tense turn for a pregnant woman when her friend texts at 9 AM, eager to visit her new home with her partner. Still in bed, battling pregnancy sickness, she hesitates to respond, hoping to delay the visit. Her white lie about not being home unravels when her friend arrives unannounced at 10 AM, leaving a heartfelt gift that reveals a missed opportunity.

The gift—a card asking her to be a godmother—turns joy into guilt as her friend feels rejected. This Reddit story captures the clash of friendship expectations and personal boundaries, highlighting how a small misstep can sour a special moment. Let’s explore her dilemma, expert insights, and Reddit’s take on this emotional mix-up.

‘AITA for not opening the door for my friend and her partner that passed by without notice? Plot twist: she wanted to ask me as godmother for her baby who she is pregnant with?’

It was a Sunday morning, 9 AM. I got a message from my friend that she wanted to come by to see our new house with her boyfriend (my husband and I have moved to a new house since a couple of weeks). I saw the message, but didnt reply immediately

As I was still laying in my bed with my husband, after a rough night of being sick from being pregnant with my first child. I decided after an hour to reply to her message if she could come by this evening, as I wasnt home (actually still in my bed, so stupid lie;

But didnt want to hurt her feelings by saying that I was home and just didnt feel like it). The rest of the day was planned with visits to both my parents and parents in law, so the day was already fully booked. So, at 10 AM, I send out that message;

And she immediately calls me saying that she and her partner were at the front door and if we could open the door for them. I looked at my husband and sighed; I reaaaally didnt feel like it. So I again said that we were not home, but that she was very welcome in the evening. She said she had a present for me and left it at the frontdoor.

30 minutes later, I got to the front door and I see a card and some flowers with the message: “Do you want to be my godmother?” (She is expecting a baby as well). I felt awful. I decided to call her after we got back from my parents and parents in law, in the evening.

When I called her she was very emotional. “Why didnt you open the door? I felt really unwelcome”. So that lie from me not being home was not really efficient, and I decided to just be honest by saying that we were still in bed and it was not a really good time

And that I felt really bad that she asked me as a godmother and that whole moment was just ruined now. She was crying and crying, and I did not know what to say. I said sorry a hundred times, but it didnt came through… So now I feel bad. And feeling like an a**hole for not just opening the door at a Sunday morning at 10 AM.

An unannounced visit can disrupt even the closest friendships, especially during pregnancy’s physical and emotional toll. This woman’s choice to lie about being home, while meant to spare feelings, escalated into a misunderstanding that overshadowed a joyful godmother request. Her friend’s pushiness, arriving without confirmation, added pressure to an already tough day.

Psychologist Dr. Irene Levine notes, “Healthy friendships require clear communication and respect for boundaries, particularly during life transitions like pregnancy”. The woman’s hesitation to host, given her illness and packed schedule, was valid, but her lie fueled her friend’s sense of rejection. The friend’s emotional reaction suggests a lack of awareness about her imposition.

This reflects a broader issue: navigating boundaries in friendships. A 2020 study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships found that 42% of friendships face strain from unreciprocated expectations around availability. The friend’s unannounced visit presumed access that wasn’t granted.

To mend this, both should have an honest conversation. The woman can acknowledge her lie while explaining her need for rest, and the friend should respect boundaries by confirming visits. Setting expectations for future drop-ins can preserve their bond and celebrate the godmother role with fresh joy.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

The Reddit community leaned toward both parties sharing fault. Many criticized the friend for showing up unannounced, especially without waiting for a reply, viewing it as presumptuous and disrespectful.

Others faulted the woman for lying instead of honestly stating she wasn’t up for visitors, arguing that transparency could have avoided the drama. Some sympathized with her pregnancy struggles, praising her for prioritizing self-care, while others saw the friend’s emotional reaction as manipulative. These takes highlight a divide over communication and respect in friendships.

wesmorgan1 − She just showed up at your door uninvited on a Sunday morning.. You lied to them instead of just saying, 'This isn't a good time; I'm not feeling well at all.'. ESH.

Full_Fold_8732 − You and your friend are each a bit of an AH here. You could have just been honest from the start, your reasons were completely valid. Then maybe you suggest another time.. Here for just showing up unannounced and expecting the red carpet to be rolled out.. Talk it out like adults and move forward as friends.

StAlvis − ESH. “Why didnt you open the door? I felt really unwelcome”.. 'Because you were **not** welcome. Why would you presume to be?'. Who *drops by?*. didnt want to hurt her feelings by saying that I was home and just didnt feel like it. Eww. F**king communicate.

laughsformyotherhalf − ESH. I don't know what the norms are in your friendship RE turning up at short notice. However that's not really the issue here. *You* should have just been honest and said that you would be delighted to see her but you were still feeling ill from the morning sickness and to come by later.

On the other hand, *she* shouldn't have messaged you and said she was at the front door after you'd already told her no — the appropriate thing was her to leave and just let you know whether or not she could come later.

I think you've now been appropriately apologetic for a white lie though while your friend has dug her heels in and refused to see your side of it. Maybe after she's had some time to calm down it would be a good idea to chat about what your expectations are around short notice visits in future.

AnneShurely − LOLLL Neither of you sound mature enough to handle babies. Grow up. If you can't answer your 'best friend' in an honest way then you shouldn't be friends. And she deliberately tried to make u feel bad by leaving that stuff by your door. What's wrong with both of you? Why do u act like you're 15. IDK maybe both of you are very young. but ESH in a big way.

Mommabroyles − ESH you should have just been honest. I assume since she showed up anyways this isn't the first time you've lied about not being home so she knew you were. Or she saw your cats in the drive lot and knew you were there. She needs to learn manners and not show up when she isn't wanted and you need to stop lying ands just be honest.

Cayachan82 − I’m going NTA as friend sent a message asking if they could stop by and then came over *before receiving a response*. That’s what makes friend the a-hole. The not waiting for a response. Now to the white lie.

I get it I do but if you are actually good friends with this person you should feel able to say “not right now but this evening should be fine because I slept bad because was sick last night and I’m busy today”. And friend needs to realize that she felt unwelcome because she was unwelcome. Just because you are friends it doesn’t mean you always have time to see each other

PowerfulCurves − She was unwelcome, she turned up without notice. She could have easy had the surprise of asking you without the surprise of her visit.. NTA.

Shakeit126 − NTA. I get why you feel bad, but it's not really necessary to a**ush someone on a Sunday morning or really any time or morning. All she had to do was wait until the evening. Stop apologizing at this point. Let her calm herself down and revisit the convo at a later time when she can get it together.

Next thing you know, she'll be unexpectedly dropping her child off with no notice. It's best that she learns now to wait for a response. She should feel unwelcome with no previous notice. It was a little lie about not being home. Big deal. It's Sunday morning, and you wanted to be left alone. You didn't do anything wrong except even admitting that.

OrcEight − **NTA** I don't blame you at all for telling a white lie to deflect was seemed like an unnecessary visit -- especially given you were not feeling well. Your friend should have known better than to bother you so early on a Sunday and also to show uninvited.

She sounds very pushy. Perhaps it would have been better to simply say you were not up for a visit -- but given how pushy your friend is she may not have accepted that as a reason not to come.

This Sunday morning mix-up reveals how quickly miscommunication can sour a special moment. The woman’s lie and her friend’s uninvited visit turned a godmother ask into a tearful clash, but honest dialogue could mend their bond. Balancing friendship with personal needs is a delicate dance, especially during pregnancy.

Have you navigated an awkward moment with a friend’s surprise visit? Share your stories—let’s keep the conversation going!

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