My (28 F) husband (38 M) cannot comprehend how expensive a child is — how do I get through to him?

In a Chicago apartment, a woman’s heart aches for motherhood, but her dream stalls against her husband’s stubborn belief that their modest income can sustain a child. Earning more but carrying the financial load, she faces a wall of inertia from a man content with less, threatening their shared future.

This Reddit user’s plea, raw with longing and frustration, lays bare a marriage at a crossroads. Her story, set in the costly urban sprawl of Chicago, draws us into a clash where love grapples with practicality, and dreams hinge on tough choices.

‘My (28 F) husband (38 M) cannot comprehend how expensive a child is — how do I get through to him?’

When one partner’s ambition lags, dreams like parenthood can feel like solo pursuits. This woman’s push for her husband to earn more reflects a stark reality: raising a child in Chicago demands financial muscle their $85,000 income can’t flex. Dr. Terri Orbuch, a relationship researcher, notes, “Financial misalignment is a top predictor of marital strain, with 40% of couples citing money disputes as a core issue” (The Love Doctor). His reliance on outdated rural benchmarks ignores Chicago’s costs—daycare alone averages $15,000 annually (Care.com).

His low wage at 38, barely above minimum, suggests a deeper aversion to change, not just optimism. Reddit’s skepticism about his desire for kids aligns with this: passive resistance can mask disinterest. The age gap, flagged by commenters, may amplify power dynamics, with her youth tethered to his complacency. Studies show 30% of breadwinning women feel trapped in unbalanced roles (Pew Research).

Orbuch advises a concrete approach: a detailed budget, like Reddit’s spreadsheet idea, to visualize costs, paired with couples therapy to unpack his resistance. She might explore higher-paying roles herself, while readers could map their own financial goals with partners.

Here’s the comments of Reddit users:

The Reddit crew swung in with blunt advice and sharp questions, mixing empathy with warnings. Here’s their unfiltered take:

These Redditors don’t mince words, but do their critiques cut through? Money talks, but inertia stalls—can online wisdom spark change?

This woman’s longing for motherhood, dimmed by her husband’s financial denial, is a stark reminder that love alone can’t fund a family. Her fight for a secure future challenges us to confront our own dealbreakers. What would you do if a partner’s complacency threatened your biggest dream? Share your thoughts—let’s dive into this tug-of-war between heart and wallet.