[UPDATE] Brave Dog Saves Owner from Stalker, Sparks Family Feud Over Safety

In the quiet hum of a suburban evening, a woman sits with her loyal bulldog, Thor, his snores filling the room like a gentle reminder of his bravery. Weeks ago, Thor thwarted a stalker’s terrifying intrusion, saving her life but igniting a family rift. Her sister-in-law’s fear of Thor’s strength around her young daughter left the woman feeling isolated, her trauma misunderstood. Now, she’s taking tentative steps to mend bonds and reclaim her courage.

This update dives deeper into her journey, where raw conversations and small victories paint a picture of resilience. With Thor by her side, she navigates family tensions and lingering fears, inviting readers into a story that’s as heartwarming as it is heart-wrenching. Can empathy bridge the gap? Let’s find out.

For those who want to read the previous part: Brave Dog Saves Owner from Stalker, Sparks Family Feud Over Safety.

‘[UPDATE] Brave Dog Saves Owner from Stalker, Sparks Family Feud Over Safety’

I definitely didn’t expect my last post to blow up the way it did. Thank you so much to everyone who commented. I appreciated that I got advice from all over the spectrum, from people who completely agreed with me to people who completely agreed with my SIL, and people who thought both of us had a point.

It helped me see that the problem is more complicated than I thought, which helped me understand that my SIL wasn’t just being a d**k. It also helped me decide what things were and weren’t fair to be angry about. I also appreciated seeing a few people comment making fun of me for needing my dog with me, and the majority of people yelling at them and saying I was acting pretty reasonably for someone who endured a violent attack.

I don’t want to be seen as someone delicate, and I’m glad that most people don’t see me that way. Reading everyone's comments, I had this moment where I was like, 'Yeah! They're right! I *did* almost get d**g out of my house and murdered just a few weeks ago. Who the hell are these people to say how I should act???'

That felt really good and I really really appreciated it. Anyway, the conclusion I came to in all of this is that while my SIL is well within her rights to protect her daughter, she went about it in a way that disrespected me, both as a friend and as a victim of a very recent violent attack.

Both my parents and her parents live locally and babysit all the time; she and my brother could’ve easily dropped my niece off with them and came to visit. It probably would’ve been awhile before I even noticed my niece wasn’t coming around, at which point I would’ve been in a better place and more understanding that she was uncomfortable with her daughter around Thor.

Regardless of what some people said about how my SIL and brother don’t owe me anything and all their allegiance goes to their daughter, I simply do not feel that way. We were extremely close before this happened; I was always there for them, and would literally drop plans to babysit my niece if my brother and SIL needed a night to themselves.

The very least they could’ve done for me, after I was almost kidnapped and murdered, is try to find some compromise. We went from seeing each other 3 times a week to pretty much not seeing each other at all. Even if they weren’t okay with me crating the dog, they could’ve easily dropped their daughter off with Grandma and Grandpa for a few hours so I wouldn’t feel completely isolated.

I also have a yard, so they could’ve come over with her and we all could’ve hung out outside, while Thor stayed inside. I’ve been upset about this for awhile, but wasn’t sure if I was right to be upset until so many people echoed that sentiment. So I appreciate it.

I invited my brother and SIL over (I promised it would only be an hour or two and insisted they leave my niece with my parents), and tried to lay all this out without being confrontational or acting like a d**k. To my surprise, my brother and SIL had no real understanding that I’ve been having a difficult time.

They thought I was basically fine and everything in my life was more or less back to normal now that my stalker is in jail. I didn’t get into it in my previous post, but during the year that I was stalked, I worked really hard to not show many outward signs of fear. I even made jokes about having a stalker.

I knew people wouldn’t want to hang out with someone who was constantly going on and on about some bad thing that was going on in their life, and I didn’t want to be “that person” who was perpetually in crisis. And more than that, I just didn’t want to always be thinking and talking about having a stalker.

I wanted to not think about it as much as possible. So I guess I might’ve come off as unaffected by the whole thing. I’m not sure if I totally buy that they didn’t know I was going through something traumatic and that it was taking a huge toll on my mental state. I mean, I got a gun and paid for tactical training. I bought a home security system.

I got active in self defense classes and strength training, things that I previously had no interest in. Even if I wasn’t walking around telling everyone how scared I was, I think anyone would’ve been able to tell. Plus, who just brushes off having their house broken into in the middle of the night? It seems crazy and they don’t seem so emotionally unintelligent that they’d think that.

But both my brother and SIL did apologize for being insensitive, and when I pressed my SIL on why crating the dog isn’t good enough, she eventually relented and said that it would be fine. It probably helped that the entire time they were over, Thor was asleep and loudly snoring in his crate.

The paranoid part of me is convinced they just don’t want to deal with me in a fragile state, made up an excuse about my dog, and are now just going to come up with some other excuse about why they can’t see me. I invited them over for dinner in a few days and they’re coming, so I guess I’ll just have to see from there. I can’t stress enough that these used to be my best friends, and I’m heartbroken to have not had their support.

I’ve been trying to rely on my friends more now, and thankfully they've all been really supportive. I’m really lucky that this happened during the pandemic, because nobody is getting frustrated with me that I’ve basically refused to leave the house for a month—they’re all perfectly happy to pick up takeout and come over to watch TV for the 5th night in a row.

In other news, yesterday I left my dog at home and drove around my block alone. I was shaking the whole time but I did it! I keep trying to remind myself that I spent a whole year fighting back even though I was utterly terrified; I can’t just lay down and die now that I’m so close to getting my life back. tl;dr Things are better with my SIL and brother but I don’t know if they’ll stay that way. I’m relying on friends for support instead. I’m disappointed but also doing better.

This update reveals a woman wrestling with trauma’s aftershocks, seeking understanding from those closest to her. Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, a trauma expert, writes in The Body Keeps the Score, “Trauma is not just an event that took place sometime in the past; it is also the imprint left by that experience on mind, brain, and body” (source). Her concealed fear during the stalking explains why her family misread her strength as normalcy.

The disconnect with her brother and SIL reflects a broader issue: society’s struggle to recognize invisible wounds. The National Center for PTSD notes that 60% of trauma survivors face social isolation due to misunderstood symptoms (source). Her SIL’s initial dismissal of crating Thor as a compromise highlights this gap, though her eventual concession shows progress. The woman’s proactive approach—inviting dialogue and setting boundaries—mirrors effective conflict resolution strategies.

Dr. van der Kolk emphasizes that “rebuilding trust and safety” is key to recovery. Her small victory of driving alone aligns with this, as does her reliance on supportive friends. To move forward, she could propose gradual reintroductions, like outdoor visits with Thor crated, to ease her SIL’s fears. Therapy, particularly Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), could further help, per the American Psychological Association (source).

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit’s crew came through with a mix of sass and support, serving up opinions like a lively dinner party. Here’s the scoop from the comment section:

BeardedBastard77 − This also NOT some normal daily life. This is some seriously traumatic stuff that happened. This will take time for you to deal with. Take the time and keep giving yourself, your dog and your family the attention you all need.. Best of luck ..... and Thor is and awesome doggo....GOOD BOY!

Auselessbus − They thought you were okay after being terrorised for a year and then enduring a brutal and violent attack?. Yeah, okay, I believe them 🙄

blazingwaffle58 − I'm happy for you, having the tough conversations and processing things very well. People just dont understand the kind of anxiety and fear of a victim, for many different crimes, and theres often a disconnect. But its amazing that you are explaining your feelings and helping them understand so that you can grow as people together and hopefully gain that sense of safety back that you had before this trauma.. Best wishes!

littlestfern − I'm glad that you've had some conversations with your brother and SIL even though they were unempathetic, and you're taking baby steps to be alone. You went through an extremely trauamtic experience, and the fact that they can't understand that is mind boggling. I'm glad you're free of your stalker.

eggjacket − your brother and SIL sounds like they suck, jesus christ

ThunderChild247 − I’m glad to hear that there’s some progress with your brother and SIL, and that you’re getting out on your own. I hope things continue to improve for you.

slmpickings − As a victim of stalking who also tried to pretend I was okay- two years later I can't leave the house alone & just started therapy. Not many people noticed I was having issues so I can *sort of* buy it. But I'm an only child so no one is as close to me as your siblings would be.. I'm SO PROUD you were able to go out by yourself.

[Reddit User] − It may be a combination of both things. They truly didn’t see how much this affected you but they knew something bad had happened and they didn’t know how to deal with it, so avoidance was part of it. People make mistakes and do stupid things when they don’t know how to cope with other people’s pain. See how it goes and then try to forgive the stupidity. It likely wasn’t malicious. I hope things can go back to somewhat normal.

Develyna − I’m so glad you updated this. I remember reading the original and I commented on some jerks thread. I had a stalker for a few months last year. It didn’t get to this point for me, but I can definitely relate to your fear. Some people really just don’t understand the mental state that never knowing if you’re being watched or followed puts you in.

My roommates eventually stopped being supportive of me and told me that if I didn’t confront the person, it was my fault that it kept happening. So I did. At first it went well, they said they didn’t mean to make me feel uncomfortable. But then a week later, they cornered me in the dining hall. And it scared me more than anything else in my life.

Someone who had previously only shown emotions of anxiety was now fuming mad. When I told my university, they decided that the person would be banned from my dorm, and they were ready to bring in the police if it continued to escalate. Luckily for me, it didn’t.

But I was constantly terrified that what happened to you would happen to me. I wouldn’t walk to class alone, and if I had to then I would be on the phone with my mom and my hand would be on my mace. I’m glad yours is in jail, and I hope he stays there.

I hope your brother and SIL come to truly understand that you need their support and this isn’t something you can just get over. And please, message me if you ever want to talk. I know how much it can help to talk to someone who went through something similar

Toffeerain − You are such an incredible person. I hope the next year brings you more peace. Please do not feel you have to put on an act for the people who love you. I’m not sure I truly believe that they didn’t know the trauma you’ve experienced but the way you’ve dealt with everything is amazing - I’m not sure I could have been so rational with them. Glad to hear you are doing better.

These takes are as fiery as a summer barbecue, but do they capture the full picture? One thing’s certain: the Reddit hive mind is rooting for Thor and his resilient owner.

From a near-tragic night to a fragile family truce, this story weaves a tapestry of courage, misunderstanding, and hope. Thor remains the unsung hero, but the woman’s resolve to confront her pain and rebuild connections shines just as brightly. As she takes baby steps toward healing, the question remains: how do you mend bonds when trauma lingers? Share your thoughts—have you ever bridged a gap like this? Let’s keep the conversation rolling!

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