My (34M) wife (35F) says our marriage is ending because I was not available to support her at her lowest her and she resents me deeply. How do I save my marriage? We have a 2.5 YO and 4 month old?

In a home buzzing with the chaos of a toddler’s giggles and a newborn’s cries, a marriage teeters on the edge of collapse. A husband, juggling a demanding job, household chores, and a mother-in-law’s stroke, finds himself staring down a painful truth: his wife feels abandoned. When she needed him most—battling postpartum depression and caregiving duties—he was too drained to offer emotional support. Now, her resentment casts a shadow over their decade-long bond, threatening to unravel their family.

With a 2.5-year-old and a 4-month-old tying them together, the stakes are sky-high. She sees them as roommates, not partners, and doubts his promises to change. Can he rebuild trust before it’s too late? The Reddit community weighs in with raw honesty, offering advice and tough love. This tale of exhaustion and regret is a stark reminder that love needs presence, not just effort.

‘My (34M) wife (35F) says our marriage is ending because I was not available to support her at her lowest her and she resents me deeply. How do I save my marriage? We have a 2.5 YO and 4 month old?’

This marriage’s fracture highlights a brutal truth: emotional absence during a partner’s crisis can leave scars that linger. The wife’s postpartum depression, compounded by caregiving and isolation, demanded more than chores—it needed her husband’s presence. His exhaustion, while real, became a wall between them. Her resentment isn’t just anger; it’s grief for the partnership she lost when she felt alone.

Postpartum depression is debilitating. The American Psychological Association reports that 1 in 7 women experience PPD, often exacerbated by lack of support. Dr. Samantha Meltzer-Brody, in a Healthline article, states, “Partners must prioritize emotional connection during PPD. Neglect can deepen feelings of abandonment.” The husband’s focus on tasks over affection missed this critical need.

This reflects broader issues of emotional labor in relationships. “Acts of service don’t replace emotional intimacy,” says therapist Esther Perel in a Psychology Today piece. To rebuild, he must show consistent, unsolicited affection—hugs, listening—without expecting instant forgiveness. Couples therapy, as suggested by Redditors, could help, but she may need individual support for PPD first. He should also explore practical relief, like part-time childcare, to ease her load.

See what others had to share with OP:

The Reddit crew didn’t hold back, serving a spicy mix of empathy and reality checks. It’s like a group therapy session with no filter and plenty of heart. Here’s the raw scoop from the crowd:

These Redditors dissected the husband’s missteps, urging therapy and action while warning that the wife’s resentment may be a point of no return. Some saw hope in change, others braced for a split. Do their takes hit the mark, or are they too quick to judge? One thing’s clear: this marriage’s fate has sparked a heated debate.

This story lays bare the cost of emotional absence when life’s storms hit hardest. The husband’s regret and the wife’s pain show how quickly love can fray under pressure. Rebuilding trust requires more than promises—it demands presence, patience, and professional help. As they navigate this crossroads, their kids’ future hangs in the balance. How would you mend a bond strained by unmet needs? Share your thoughts or experiences in the comments—let’s keep this conversation going.