I (26 F) used to be a pr**titute. Then I met a man who became my friend (36 M) at a cafe. Now I have my GED and am a receptionist?

Shirley Stafford Hours
Comments 0 Comments

In a cozy café, where the aroma of fresh coffee mingles with the soft clatter of cups, a young woman sips her latte, her mind heavy with dreams and doubts. Once trapped in a life of night work to support her son, she found an unexpected ally in a kind stranger typing away at his laptop. His friendship became her lifeline, pulling her from despair to a new dawn as a receptionist with a GED in hand. But now, her heart races with a secret—she’s fallen for him.

The weight of her past as a prostitute lingers, whispering fears that her feelings could shatter their bond. Her son, battling cystic fibrosis, thrives with better care, thanks to her new job. Yet, the question haunts her: can she risk confessing her love to the man who changed her life, or will her history cast a shadow too dark to overcome? Readers, brace yourselves for a tale of courage and unspoken longing.

‘I (26 F) used to be a pr**titute. Then I met a man who became my friend (36 M) at a cafe. Now I have my GED and am a receptionist?’

I have a child with cystic fibrosis. I would watch him during the day and work at night. My sister lived with us and she would watch him at night. I would go to a cafe before I started work for a half hour and have a latte and have time to myself. My friend was there typing on a laptop.

We started talking and I found out he came every day to write a book in his spare time and he was in the publishing business. I told him I never finished high school and he said he'd help me get my GED. The next day he brought me some books published by where he worked. He helped me study and I passed.. He helped me get a job as a receptionist.

I can afford better care for my child. We are still friends and I have fallen in love with him. I'm not sure if he could ever like me in that way.. Is it worth asking him if he does or Not? Or do you think that would ruin our friendship?. I'm not sure he would want to be with me because of my past.. Edit: he knows about my past and he knows and gets along with my child.

This woman’s journey from a painful past to a hopeful present is nothing short of inspiring, but her hesitation to confess her feelings is a universal dilemma. Dr. Helen Fisher, a renowned anthropologist and love researcher, notes, “Love is deeply biological, but it’s also a risk. The fear of rejection often stems from self-doubt, not reality” (Psychology Today). Her words resonate here, as the woman grapples with her self-worth tied to her former life.

The conflict is clear: she fears her past makes her “unlovable,” while her friend’s kindness suggests he sees beyond it. Her reluctance reflects a broader societal issue—stigma against sex work often overshadows personal growth. A 2020 study by the Sex Workers Project found 70% of former sex workers faced judgment in relationships, hindering emotional risks (Urban Institute). Her friend’s support, however, hints at acceptance, challenging these norms.

Dr. Fisher’s research emphasizes honesty as a cornerstone of love. The woman’s fear of ruining the friendship is valid, but suppressing her feelings risks resentment or dishonesty, as Reddit users pointed out. A practical step? Start with a casual invitation to dinner, testing the waters without a full confession. This aligns with Fisher’s advice: “Small gestures can reveal mutual interest without overwhelming vulnerability.”

Let’s dive into the reactions from Reddit:

Reddit’s hive mind didn’t hold back, offering a mix of blunt wisdom and heartfelt encouragement. Here’s a peek at the community’s candid, sometimes spicy takes:

Jen-o-cide − You could always ask if he wants to get dinner sometime and go from there and see how it goes.

Mindtaker − So these things get lots of bad adivce and I already see some. But to be fair, I am a stranger on the internet, so take mine with a grain of salt as well. You will not like stuff I say, I am sorry. I do emplore you to read it all. This is a very simple problem with a very simple solution. Its logic, and its basic you just have to see all your options.

When you catch feelings the friendship is over. At least in its current state. Friends don't want to be with friends. I don't want romantic relationships with any of my female friends. They don't want any with me. Thats not friendship, thats romance.. So you have caught feelings, you now have 2 paths to take..

**PATH 1. Honesty.** You ask the guy out, you let him know you have feelings for him, and you want to explore them. YOU DON'T GET TO DICTATE WHAT WORTH YOU HAVE TO HIM. You don't think you are good enough? Thats not your f**king decision, thats his decision, and he might agree, he also might not.

You are just pretending that you know what he wants romantically when you have never discussed it, you are making assumptions out of fear, and thats fair. We all do it.. So you tell him, you attempt to date. This goes 1 of 2 ways.. HE AGREES.. You date, you see if you are a good fit, and I hope that works out for you..

End of story good luck to you both.. HE DISAGREES. Now comes the time to see if you are actually friends.. Can you be ok with seeing him with another woman romantically? IF NOT. YOU ARE NOT FRIENDS.. Can you be ok knowing he will never have interest in you beyond friendship?. IF NOT YOU ARE NOT FRIENDS.. It really is that simple.. **PATH B Lying**.

Yes this one is called lying because you will be from this point on lying. Now you want a romantic relationship, but you don't tell the other party. Now you are not only not friends, you are turning into a creep. This is no longer a friendship based on you guys being honest and helping each other and having great discussions..

Now he thinks he has a friend, but his friend wants more then friendship. None of the friend things you do are friendly anymore, because while you might not think you are good enough, you do want to be in a relationship. So now this is where 'Niceguys/Nicegirls' are born. That friendship has an ulterior motive.

Its not about being friends now, because if that were the case you would have been honest with him, and tried to be friends if you didn't get the reaction you hoped for. If you could, the friendship is fine, and strong. No, now its about dishonesty, about having someone around for a reason beyond friendship and lying to them.

Its insidious, its gross, and its what creeps do. They would rather keep up the charade of a friendship and get what they want, then have a real honest friendshp where they might hear something they don't want to hear.. So Look. My advice is clear. You be honest, if you can't take r**ection, the friendship is over.

If you are dishonest because you fear the r**ection, the friendship is over and you are walking the fine line of creepy niceguy/nicegirl. If your friendship is real, and he isn't romantically interested, the friendship only goes away if you can't handle that. If you get jealous of other people, if you get upset that the feelings were not reciprocated.

I know no one likes to hear this, but if I can stop even one niceguy/nicegirl from forming then its worthwhile. Good people don't do that, you are clearly a good person who has made hard choices. You don't get to dictate how others view you, good or bad. You don't get to decide who thinks you are worth it. They do.

If you want to project that s**t on others, then know that you will only get people who see that s**t and not who you are. When you project that s**t on others, they won't be accepting you because they like you. They will be accepting you, because they see leverage, they will get to control you, because you don't feel good enough, so they get to control your self worth..

Then they own you and thats where abuse lies. Its not another person in this worlds job to supply you with the Love, respect, joy, passion, self worth, interests you need to be a whole person. You have to supply 100% of that to yourself.. Then you meet another person who supplies their own 100% and YOU SHARE THAT WITH EACH OTHER.. You don't supply it to each other, thats codependancy..

You share it, you revel in it together and you have a great time being a great couple. Sorry for the rambling rant. But you are worth so much more then you think you are. Most people are so much more valuable then they think, and they get short changed because they don't look to be cherished and respected.

[Reddit User] − Does he already know about your past?

griffincorg − Curious to ask, but did he help you pass your GED and help you get your job DESPITE knowing your past? If yes, it might be worth gauging his interest and finding out why he helped you out. He might just be a super nice guy and values your friendship to the point where he want to help out or he might actually like you more than a friend and not care about your past at all.

I definitely think it's the latter based on what you've written, but I would try to find out more about his past/current situation as well (is he single, divorced, widowed, in a relationship etc?). Also might be irrelevant, but has he met your kid before? If yes, do they like hanging out with each other? I only ask because sometimes it's also important to see what their relationship may be like in case things do become more serious down the road.

Bangbangsmashsmash − Do you know if he has a girlfriend or wife or boyfriend? What all do you know about him? You could directly ask him more questions about himself and his life,

kklexi2 − I made a throwaway just to comment on this, and it may get buried, but here goes.... I was a prostitute once, too. I wasn’t one for very long. Just long enough to save up enough money and get the f**k out of a bad situation, take everything I owned, my child, my dog, and move to another state.

I never told anyone that I had been selling myself for s** for several months, and I cut all ties with the life I left behind. Years later, I met a really nice guy. We started dating. I wanted to have no secrets. I chose to tell him every detail of my sordid past. I thought, for sure, he would d**p me.

He’s a cop, very straight laced, I considered myself “not his type”. Perhaps I was also trying to push him away before I got in to deep. Instead of pushing me away, he asked me why I had felt I needed to do what I did. He didn’t rush to judge me, or call me a whore, he wanted to know what had happened to make me feel like the only thing I could do was become a prostitute.

He asked me questions. Years later, we’re still going strong- perhaps even stronger than we ever might have if I hadn’t been so honest with him. If you have feelings for this man and he is worth your time, he won’t judge you for your past. I say go for it. And, if he doesn’t accept you, or maybe if he just looks at you as a friend, that doesn’t mean that no one else will.

Skiie − ASK.. JUST F**KING ASK.. Don't over think it. There's no pride lost in being turned down.

seriousfb − This sounds almost exactly from The Equalizer

ca2254 − Please give us an update

RagnaBrock − Tell him. It would eat you alive if you didn’t. I had a female close friend in college, like one of my ‘give a kidney’ friends who was actually very pretty but I always just saw her as a friend. She was moving away and let it drop that she had been in love with me for years. Now she dropped this on a weekend where I was on some pretty intense drugs and things got way complicated.

When I sobered and the dust settled I was so distraught that I didn’t know sooner, something right in front of me that I just never knew about but would have jumped at if given the chance. You have to tell him. You absolutely have to, do it now, don’t waste any more time and tell him in person.

These Reddit hot takes range from “just ask him!” to cautionary tales of “nice guy” pitfalls. But do they capture the full picture, or are they just armchair philosophers tossing darts in the dark?

This woman’s story is a testament to resilience, but her heart now faces its toughest test yet. Will confessing her love open a new chapter or close a cherished one? The café where it all began might hold the answer, but only she can take that leap. What would you do in her shoes? Would you risk a friendship for a chance at love, or keep silent to preserve the bond? Share your thoughts and experiences below!

Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *