Fiancé (35m) says I (38F) need to do all the cleaning and cooking even though we both work and pay bills 50-50. I disagree. Help! (Been together for almost 10 years)?
The kitchen clock ticks past 6:30 p.m., and she’s still on a work call, juggling a headset and a clingy 4-year-old. Exhausted, pregnant, and battling nausea, she glances at the messy living room, toys scattered like confetti. Her fiancé walks in, expecting a hot dinner and a spotless house, his new mantra echoing: “Women cook and clean.” For this 38-year-old mom-to-be, it’s a gut punch. A decade-long partnership, built on shared bills and dreams, feels like it’s unraveling.
Many modern couples face tension over household labor, especially when outdated gender norms resurface. Her story, shared on Reddit, unveils a raw struggle: a fiancé swayed by online videos, demanding she uphold “traditional” roles while dismissing her full-time job and pregnancy challenges. Her exhaustion and frustration resonate deeply, painting a vivid picture of a woman stretched thin, seeking fairness in a suddenly lopsided relationship.
‘Fiancé (35m) says I (38F) need to do all the cleaning and cooking even though we both work and pay bills 50-50. I disagree. Help! (Been together for almost 10 years)?’
This couple’s clash over chores reflects deeper tensions around gender expectations. The fiancé’s shift to rigid roles, likely fueled by online echo chambers, burdens his pregnant partner, who’s already juggling work and childcare. Her efforts, despite hyperemesis gravidarum, highlight an unfair load he’s unwilling to share.
Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, states, “Fairness in household labor is a cornerstone of lasting partnerships”. Her situation underscores this: managing a full-time job, childcare, and pregnancy complications, she faces criticism instead of support. Studies reveal women in dual-income households handle 65% of unpaid domestic work, and his “men mow, women clean” stance ignores this reality.
Broader societal shifts show couples thriving with equitable chore division. She could propose a chore chart or counseling to address his views. Setting boundaries, like calmly outlining her health and workload, might spark change. Engaging in open dialogue could rebuild their partnership on mutual respect.
Take a look at the comments from fellow users:
Reddit’s response was a fiery blend of support and sarcasm, with users calling out the fiancé’s hypocrisy. Many suggested she rethink the relationship, noting his “traditional” demands clash with their equal financial contributions.
Others highlighted the stress of her situation, urging her to prioritize her well-being and her daughters’ future. These candid opinions reflect a collective push for fairness and respect in partnerships.
Her story underscores a universal truth: love thrives on mutual respect, not rigid roles. While she loves her fiancé, his demands threaten their family’s harmony. By standing firm, she’s modeling strength for her daughters, showing them fairness matters.
Share your experiences with unfair partner expectations in the comments. What steps helped you find balance in your relationship? Let’s spark a lively debate!
