[10M] Nephew abused my [30F] chickens and fabricated stories. I have cctv footage. How do I move forward?

The backyard was supposed to be a safe haven, filled with the cheerful clucks of chickens strutting under the sun. But for one single mom, that peace shattered when her 10-year-old nephew turned her sanctuary into a scene of chaos. Caught on CCTV, the boy hurled bricks at her beloved hens, leaving her favorite rooster limping and her friendliest hen battered. Worse, he spun a tale of self-defense, leaving her grappling with betrayal and worry. As a late-diagnosed autistic woman, she’s navigating this storm with raw emotion, unsure how to protect her flock and family ties.

This isn’t just about a few injured chickens—it’s a tangle of trust, responsibility, and tough love. Her sister’s promise of an apology call feels like a Band-Aid on a deeper wound, especially with her parents shrugging it off as “boys being boys.” Readers might feel her frustration, wondering how to balance justice with family harmony in a situation that clucks up all the wrong feathers.

‘[10M] Nephew abused my [30F] chickens and fabricated stories. I have cctv footage. How do I move forward?’

Long story short on Friday my 4th grader nephew was supposed to playing outside at my parents house next door but he opened my gate in my privacy fence, snuck into my yard, and checked all the doors. He actually chatted with me at my ring doorbell while I was at work and I told him “hey buddy how ya doing? I’m at work but I can’t wait to see ya later! Have a good time!”

He then went into my backyard and started picking up bricks from a project I was working on and hucking them at my chickens for 8 minutes. At some point he went and got his little brother and one of my (also younger) sons, the brother threw a few good swings at my hens also and my son threw a tiny piece of cracked-off mortar.

He injured my rooster and my literal very favorite hen who is at the top of the pecking order and is the very friendliest with the biggest personality. The rooster I specially selected out of 6 that I raised, I kept him specifically after growing them all up and watching them interact with their flock and my family I selected him for his calm temperament and friendly behavior.

They are both wounded pretty bad- the rooster has a bad limp and my best hen took a brick to the *face* and I made a big deal out of being upset by his actions and concerned that he would have such abusive behavior and then lie right to his parents face about it.

The story he told his parents before I could ever even talk to them is that “My aunt asked me to go collect eggs with my cousin and we went into the coop like she asked and the rooster started being aggressive so I started throwing rocks to defend myself”

His mother, my sister, says she has no idea where he got this behavior from or why he thought it was ok to entertain himself like this but “that wasn’t ok at all at all at all” and that they’re going to have him call me after work. Apparently I’m autistic* (please read the edit) and this affects the way I deal with interpersonal conflict.

How can I move forward through this situation while protecting my family and my property while also not being a total d**k? I’m a single parent and my sister just gave me a pretty nice minivan, we’re on pretty good terms but what the f**k man.

I feel like this is a big deal and I made a big deal out of it by sending cctv video footage and information about what happened to my sister and informing my parents and my parents are all “boys will be boys it’s just a stupid mistake” but this boy just opens his mouth and lies and lies and lies and I’m worried that if his course isn’t corrected he’s gonna end up in a world of hurt.

Moving from lies to violence on defenseless creatures is a whole big deal in my opinion. Howwww can I handle this moving forward? Ban them from my house? That seems like a bad move there has to be a way to healthily handle this? I’m anxious about how to handle this apology they’re going to force out of him tonight.

I can’t seem to edit but the younger brother and cousin are 6 and 7 years old boys. I had a big conversation with my child about how our chickens are injured because he stood by and while he only threw one tiny piece, he allowed someone else to harm them without getting help and now our flock is damaged and injured.

*I added that I am autistic because it affects the way I communicate! Yes it has nothing to do with the fact that he committed violence on my animals but it has everything to do with the way I handle the situation moving forward. This is relationship advice and being autistic is relevant information when it comes to interpersonal conflict resolution. I am late diagnosed, deeply masking and am trying to learn how it affects the way I communicate.

This backyard drama isn’t just a family spat—it’s a red flag waving furiously. The nephew’s actions, from harming animals to crafting a bold-faced lie, point to a troubling lack of empathy. The aunt’s frustration is palpable, caught between her love for her chickens and her sister’s insistence on an apology. Meanwhile, her parents’ “boys will be boys” excuse risks letting serious behavior slide.

Animal cruelty in children often signals deeper issues. According to the Animal Legal Defense Fund, such acts can be early indicators of psychological problems, with studies linking childhood animal abuse to later aggressive behavior. This isn’t just about a few bruised hens; it’s about a child who needs help before his actions escalate. The aunt’s autism adds another layer, as her direct communication style might clash with her family’s tendency to downplay the issue.

Dr. Jesse Bering, a psychologist, notes, “Empathy deficits in children can manifest in harmful behaviors, like animal cruelty, which require immediate intervention to redirect their moral compass.” His insight suggests the nephew’s actions aren’t just a prank but a cry for professional guidance. The aunt’s instinct to take this seriously is spot-on, but her family’s dismissal could hinder progress.

The broader issue here is how families handle accountability. The aunt should calmly insist on therapy for her nephew, citing evidence like the ALDF’s findings. She could propose supervised visits only, with locks on her gates to protect her property. Encouraging her son to speak up in the future also builds a culture of responsibility.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit’s got some spicy takes on this feathered fiasco—brace for candor with a side of humor! Here’s what the community had to say:

Least-Sample9425 − You need to protect your animals and maybe even your child. That kid needs counselling and the lack of empathy is startling I would make your home a no go zone and a safe space. Spend time at his house instead.

ConfusedAt63 − Banning them from your property when you are not home is perfectly reasonable. Put locks on your gates so this doesn’t happen again. You have the right to protect your chickens and property. A boy that lies all the time needs locks to keep him out!

gringaellie − Boys who harm animals and lie are far more likely to grow up and become violent criminals if they don't get help as a child. If your family love your nephew, they need to get him help pronto.. I would cut that nephew off until they get him help and he apologises.

BossHeisenberg − This is sooo fucked up. Sorry this happened to your animals. I don't envy you. Also let your sister know how fucked up this is, this should affect your little nephew. Scare him even. You don't hurt defenseless animals!

CinematicHeart − As a mother and animal lover I would not leave that child unattended with anyone. I would suggest to your sister that he get an evaluation. That harming animals is a sign of a larger problem. He might move from chickens to other kids. Harming animals is a well documented early sign of psychological issues.

N0S0UP_4U − I’m a big time family man but if it were me he wouldn’t be welcome in my home for at least a few months if not longer. He also does not get to see your son without adult supervision for at least that long. I’d also tell his parents that if he does what he did again, you will call the police and you will have video evidence. Lastly, I’d suggest some type of behavioral intervention counseling to be a prerequisite for the restrictions above being removed.

Not only did he directly harm your animals, he’s actually influenced your son to do the same. He is not to be trusted around your animals or children for both reasons. You also need to address your parents’ cavalier attitude toward this when you have video evidence of what happened. They want you to capitulate so they can keep playing big happy family. It’s not a “stupid mistake” and that boy is a danger to himself and those around him.

sf3p0x1 − Your addition of acknowledgment of autism tells me that your family uses your autism as an excuse for how they talk to you, talk about you, and act with you. They don't respect you. They're using your autism as an excuse to treat you lesser. Your nephew will get a slap on the wrist and told not to do it again. This story will pop up later as a 'cute anecdote' in your sister's repertoire of child-rearing stories.

Has she offered to pay for the damage? Sent her son to apologize? *Let you know what steps she's taking to correct the behavior?*. Has she shown you that she's taking responsibility for the actions of her son, or forcing *him* to? If any of the answers to these questions are 'no,' you should probably think about restricting the amount of time you allow your family on your property.

[Reddit User] − From my parent: “Cut the kid some slack, he’s a kid, he was wrong, he knows it now. You need to let this go. I love you & understand how mad you are but are you going to let this affect your relationship with him forever? None of us are perfect, let it go!”

That’s dysfunctional, right? My parents have been insanely gracious and helpful to me over the years especially throughout my time as a single parent, they’ve made sure I always had everything I needed. But what the fuckkk. Let it go so he can get himself in more trouble? And putting the blame on ME for being upset? He’s the one who injured my chickens! They’re my only pets! They were innocent!

Ok_Imagination_1107 − 1. You're being autistic has nothing to do with the fact this child is displayed disturbing violent behaviour. 2. Recommendations: child never sets foot in your yard again at least for say 10 years and I'm not kidding. In order for you not to file a report with your local animal cruelty organisation, you insist the child get some therapy At least say 3 months worth.

Tell the parents quite correctly the such behaviour is usually found in serial killers when they were children. No therapy means you reported to authorities for everyone's good really. Quite personally I would report it anyway.

Moist_Border862 − My mother is a child psychiatrist and after reading this agrees this child needs to be seen by a professional immediately.

These opinions are fiery, but do they cut to the heart of the matter, or are they just clucking around the real issue?

This tale of chickens and deceit leaves us with more questions than answers. The aunt’s love for her flock and her family is clear, but so is her fear that letting this slide could spell trouble down the road. It’s a delicate dance—holding a child accountable without torching family bridges. What would you do if you were in her shoes? Share your thoughts below and let’s unpack how to mend fences while keeping the coop safe.

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