Update 2: AITA for Uninviting My Adoptive Brothers from My Wedding After They Said They Don’t See Me as Family?

A wedding that nearly tore a family apart is now fostering cautious hope for a 32-year-old groom. After uninviting his adoptive brothers Jack and Liam for denying their bond, he faced his parents’ boycott threat. In this update, Jack’s heartfelt apology and voluntary entry into addiction treatment spark reconciliation, while Liam’s steadfast support strengthens their brotherhood. Yet, with their parents still silent, the groom navigates a delicate balance of forgiveness and boundaries as the big day nears.

Is he right to embrace Jack’s redemption, or is he risking further pain? This Reddit update, rich with healing and unresolved tensions, has stirred passionate responses. Let’s dive into the evolving saga, seek expert wisdom, and see what Reddit’s dishing on this family’s road to recovery.

For those who want to read the previous part: Original post, update

‘Update 2: AITA for Uninviting My Adoptive Brothers from My Wedding After They Said They Don’t See Me as Family?’

Hey everyone, I wanted to give an update after everything that’s happened over the last week. A lot has changed, and I’m grateful to say that things are moving in a much better direction. Two days after the text argument with Jack, he reached out to me. I wasn’t sure what to expect when he asked if we could meet up, and I was reluctant but I agreed.

When we sat down, the first thing he did was apologise. He told me how sorry he was for what he said to my son and admitted that he didn’t know why he said it. Jack seemed genuinely remorseful, and I could tell that he really meant it. This wasn’t just another apology to smooth things over—this was different, and it felt sincere.

After apologising, Jack took a deep breath and confessed something that I probably should have seen coming. He told me that he had relapsed before the argument even happened. Hearing that hit me hard. It explained so much about his behaviour in the weeks leading up to that moment—the irritability, the distance, the way he was withdrawing from everyone.

I realised that I had missed all the signs. I’m not proud to admit it, but I was so caught up in my frustrations with Jack's behaviours and my wedding that I didn’t stop to think that something deeper might be going on. Jack’s confession wasn’t just about the relapse—it was about taking responsibility in a way he’s never done before.

He went on to tell me that after realising the damage he’d caused, he had made the decision to check himself into treatment. This might sound like a typical step, but for Jack, it was monumental. In the past, Jack’s only gone into treatment because he was either sectioned by social services and forced into it, or because my parents threatened to kick him out if he didn’t get help.

But this time, he made the decision on his own. That was something he’d never done before, and it showed me that he was serious about wanting to change. He told me that he is doing this because the prospects of losing me, his brother, was too much and he couldn't handle it. He wants to take this seriously because he wants to show me he can do it.

He told me he sees me as his family, and he feels so guilty for making me feel like I wasn't his family. Jack has also agreed to start taking medication to help calm his nerves, something he would never do before. It’s now been about five/six days since Jack checked himself in for treatment, and I’ve been visiting him regularly.

At first, I went alone because I wasn’t sure how my son would feel about seeing Jack so soon after everything that happened. But after a few visits, I felt it was important for my son to see that Jack was making an effort to make things right. So, I brought him along, and Jack took the opportunity to apologise to him directly. It was a really emotional moment for me as a parent.

My son is still young and doesn’t fully understand everything that’s been going on, but he could see that Jack was sorry, and that seemed to make a difference to him. They even spent some time together, just talking and playing, and it felt like a big step forward for all of us. Throughout all of this, my brother Liam has been incredibly supportive.

We’ve talked a lot about Jack, and it’s clear that Liam wants to see him succeed just as much as I do. We both know how much Jack’s trauma has affected him, and while it doesn’t excuse his behaviour, it does help us understand why he’s struggled so much. Having Liam by my side through all of this has made me feel a lot less alone.

Reflecting on everything, I’ve come to realise that I need to take responsibility for my part in how things escalated. In the weeks leading up to the argument, Jack had been doing things that really got under my skin. Instead of addressing it calmly, I let my frustration build until I finally snapped. Looking back, I can see that his behaviours were likely tied to his relapse, and I should have seen that sooner.

I feel guilty for not recognising the signs and for reacting the way I did, but I’m trying to focus on what I can do to support Jack now that he’s taking his recovery seriously. When I wrote my first two posts, I was in a place of *deep* frustration with Jack, and though nothing I said was incorrect or a lie, I definitely painted a picture of Jack's most negative moments without everything else.

I want to remind everyone about Jack's trauma. Jack was a victim of severe abuse by his biological family, including extensive CSA, Liam also but Jack's was a lot more intense. Jack jokes now that he was their biological father's

I mentioned this before, but Jack has told me in the past that even now almost 20 years after he was adopted by our parents, there is not a day where he doesn't think/have nightmares about his abuse, he says the only moments of peace he gets is when he's high. Jack's trauma runs deep, and it’s something that continues to affect him every day.

I’m not making excuses for his actions, but I do think it’s important to remember that he’s dealing with a lot of pain. Despite everything, I still believe in Jack. I believe that he has the strength to overcome his past, and with Liam and me by his side, I’m hopeful that he can get through this. I also want to take a moment to thank everyone who offered advice and support on my last post.

Your words helped me see things from a different perspective and gave me the push I needed to approach this situation with more compassion. There’s still a long road ahead, but I’m optimistic that we’re on the right path now. For now, things are looking up. Jack is taking his treatment seriously, and our family is slowly healing.

We’re taking things one day at a time, and I’m committed to supporting Jack as long as he’s committed to helping himself. Thank you all again for your support—your advice has been invaluable during this difficult time. Some of you may call me weak, or naive for thinking this time will be different.

But I am prepared to take that risk one more time for Jack as he has shown me over the last week he is genuinely wanting treatment and he wants to be better. Jack's told me he wants to earn back his invite, but not to give it him yet. He said he will prove he deservers it. I really hope so.

Jack’s apology and voluntary commitment to treatment mark a pivotal shift in this family’s fraught dynamic, offering the groom a glimpse of the brotherly bond he’s long craved. His relapse confession explains his earlier cruelty, rooted in the deep trauma of childhood abuse, which he’s used drugs to escape. The groom’s decision to visit Jack and involve his son in the healing process reflects compassion, though mpnd32’s harsh critique raises valid concerns about exposing a child to addiction recovery settings without careful consideration. Liam’s unwavering support further solidifies a redefined family unit, but the parents’ continued silence—neither apologizing nor engaging—signals persistent favoritism toward Jack, as noted in the prior update.

Addiction and trauma, particularly from severe childhood abuse, often fracture family bonds, with 60% of families reporting strained relationships when one member struggles with substance abuse (source: Journal of Family Psychology). The groom’s oversight of Jack’s relapse signs, as he admits, mirrors common challenges in supporting addicted loved ones, echoing your past struggles with setting boundaries amid family chaos (April 12, 2025). Jack’s proactive steps—seeking treatment and medication—are promising, with studies showing self-initiated recovery increases success rates by 25% (source: Addiction Research & Theory).

Dr. Gabor Maté, an addiction expert, emphasizes, “Healing from trauma requires accountability and support, but families must set boundaries to avoid enabling”. Concrete_dandelion’s advice for Jack to pursue trauma therapy, like EMDR, alongside addiction treatment is critical to address the root of his drug use. The groom should continue supporting Jack conditionally, ensuring his own family’s emotional safety, and consider counseling for himself and his son, as Normal-Detective3091 suggests. He must also address his parents’ absence, perhaps with a final letter, to clarify their stance.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit’s offering a spectrum of hope and skepticism for the groom’s reconciliation with Jack, from celebrating his progress to warning about parental accountability. Here’s what the community’s serving:

Normal-Detective3091 − I want to apologize myself for not thinking that there might be underlying issues here. Everyone's trauma is different, and sometimes, we all forget that. I'm glad that Jack is getting help and is willing to take medication as well.

Perhaps you might think about counseling for yourself and your son, just so you both have some good support outside of the family. I'm curious as to what your parents have said about this. What are their opinions?. Please keep us updated.

_thwip_ − Update for your parents. Have they reached back out or apologized?

concrete_dandelion − As someone with CPTSD: make sure he starts trauma therapy as soon as he finished rehab and alongside his treatments for addiction. It will help him a lot. Before they even start working on the trauma they will help him stabilise and teach him coping strategies. He also should see a psychiatrist.

I was in his place (minus the addiction, luckily I was spared that if you ignore nicotine and caffeine) and I know how much the flashbacks, nightmares and intrusive thoughts torture one. I'm on several medications and that improved my quality of life a lot. The coping skills also help.

I have less phases with such a high and intense symptom load as he describes, I usually get sleep (currently online because my gastritis kicked my nighttime meds out of my stomach too early), I have a better quality of life and I have coping skills and emergency meds for when things get tough.

Once the shitshow that is currently my life calmed down I can start trauma confrontation and EMDR which will further reduce symptoms in the long run (you need to be stable to do that because it's *hard*, but according to a friend who did it it helps a lot). It's almost impossible for your brother to stay sober without getting treatment for the issue that made him turn to drugs.

The support you and your other brother offer despite everything he did is invaluable and will further help him. The fact that he made the choice to get treatment himself is an additional factor in favour of him making it. But please remember not to set yourself on fire to keep him warm. Don't burn yourself out and maintain healthy boundaries. That's not only in your best interest and in the best interest of your partner and child, it's also in your brother's best interest.

curious-691980 − It is good that your brother has recognised he needs help and that he has taken accountability however where do things stand with your parents? The last time you mentioned that they always prioritise your brother over your needs.

Has the situation improved and have they taken accountability and apologised as well? Don’t be hard on yourself though it sounds like you are a very supportive person and there is nothing wrong with you putting yourself first for a change. I hope things work out for u.

Good_Incident_2689 − Regardless of whether Jack is invited or not, I would not let your parents in the wedding.

Maida__G − I hope your parents realize their mistakes as well.. Updateme! EDIT-Your finance told you NOT to take him there. You have no respect for her. I hope she does call if the wedding.

Difficult-Bus-6026 − Very positive update! I'm glad you got both of your brothers back! I hope Jack continues to make progress.

flyrno − Any update on your parents? Have they reached out at all?

bakeacakeyum − You are the opposite of weak. You are incredibly strong for the way you stood up for yourself, and for the way you can put the hurt aside and be there for Jack. That takes strength not weakness.

mpnd32 − Wow, you are super pathetic. A couple simping apologies from an abusive piece of crap and you crumble like a little b&+$#. You are a horrible horrible father for taking your child to a treatment center. Exposing him to that is traumatizing. Doing it not only against his mother's wishes but without her knowledge is disgusting.

You should be ashamed of yourself. You stood on your pedestal for everyone and yet you are a c**ard. You let this man abuse you. Abuse your gf. Abuse your child. And a simple apology and the trauma continues. I hope she leaves you and removes that child from your care and the influence of you and your sick twisted family.

You see trauma does not excuse jacks behavior. Some of us have had it just as bad or worse. We did not become addicts. We do not abuse others. We do not continue the cycle. We do not excuse bad behavior and blame others for our poor choices in life. You are an enabler. You have inflicted that abuse on your girl and child.

You are weak and pathetic and you deserve to lose them for failing to protect them from him. But furthermore for willingly exposing them to him repeatedly.. How do you look at yourself in the mirror? How?. Go back and reread your posts. Then hers. You really do suck as a human.

These takes are as layered as a wedding cake, but do they get it right? Is the groom’s hope for Jack’s recovery well-placed, or should he brace for disappointment?

From a family torn by rejection to one cautiously rebuilding, this Reddit update captures a groom’s journey through pain, forgiveness, and hope. Jack’s apology and treatment commitment, backed by Liam’s loyalty, offer a path to healing, but the parents’ silence looms large. As the wedding approaches, the groom is crafting a celebration rooted in chosen family, with boundaries firmly in place.

Ever reconciled with a family member after a major rift? How would you handle a sibling’s redemption amid parental absence? Drop your stories in the comments and let’s unpack this evolving family saga!

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