Am I wrong for telling my friend my husband and I want to travel alone?

Shirley Stafford Hours
Comments 0 Comments

The air buzzed with excitement as Sarah and her husband sketched out their dream anniversary trip to Italy—cobblestone streets, candlelit dinners, and sunsets over the Amalfi Coast. But like a plot twist in a romantic comedy, their plans hit a snag.Sarah’s best friend, newly pregnant and glowing with maternal anticipation, declared she’d join them, baby in tow. The thought of diaper changes and midnight cries clashing with their long-awaited escape sent Sarah’s heart sinking.

This isn’t just about a vacation; it’s about boundaries, friendships, and the delicate dance of saying “no” without guilt. Sarah’s dilemma resonates with anyone who’s juggled love for a friend with the need for personal space.

‘Am I wrong for telling my friend my husband and I want to travel alone?’

My husband ( 25 M) and I (24 F) have been somewhat planning a vacation to Italy over the summer with my best friend ( 25 F) and husband ( 27 M) for mine and my husbands anniversary.Well our circumstances have changed and my friend and my friend said she is pregnant and due in may. Our trip is somewhat planning to be in august or July.

I told her that this type of trip is not meant for new babies and my husband and I are going to be spending lots of money and time on this trip. I don’t want it interrupted with feedings, nap times and baby cries. Don’t get me wrong I love her little angel already dy but this is not the trip for her.

I told her we can plan a trip in September or whenever she can somwhere more baby friendly but we would like to go to Italy ourselves. Also we have not officially planned anything or paid. She said that I’m being unreasonable and she will still go on our anniversary trip.

Sarah’s vacation dilemma is a classic case of friendship boundaries colliding with personal milestones. Navigating such conflicts requires tact, especially when emotions run high. Sarah wants her anniversary to shine, but her friend’s insistence on joining with a newborn risks dimming that glow. Both sides have valid feelings—Sarah craves romance, while her friend likely seeks inclusion during a transformative time.

This situation reflects broader social dynamics around setting boundaries. Studies show many adults struggle to say “no” to friends due to fear of conflict. Sarah’s friend may feel entitled to join, viewing the trip as a shared adventure, but her choice overlooks the couple’s need for intimacy.

Dr. Irene Levine, a psychologist and friendship expert, notes, “Friendships thrive on mutual respect, but boundary violations can strain even the closest bonds.” Here, Sarah’s friend prioritizes her own desires, ignoring the couple’s milestone. Sarah’s gentle refusal shows strength, but her friend’s pushback suggests a need for clearer communication.

To resolve this, Sarah could reaffirm her love for her friend while firmly stating her needs, perhaps suggesting a future group trip. Open dialogue, rooted in empathy, can preserve the friendship while protecting her plans.

Here’s what Redditors had to say:

Reddit’s take on Sarah’s saga is lively and opinionated. The community largely backs Sarah, emphasizing that her anniversary deserves to be a private affair. Many highlight the logistical chaos of traveling with a newborn—think long flights and disrupted schedules—while others call out the friend’s bold claim to join regardless. A humorous thread imagines Sarah dodging her friend’s plans like a spy, keeping trip details under wraps.

Careless-Ability-748 − You're not unreasonable, a baby adds a whole other dynamic and this is your anniversary.

TurbulentShock7120 − You can stop her from joining you and your husband, but you can't stop her from going to Italy

traciw67 − Nw. But put her on an information diet so she doesn't book the same trip!

liquidthc − Saying she

shigui18 − That is still too soon after the birth to travel like that. A day, maybe. I would be too exhausted and would be ready to go home. But that's me.

SnooWords4839 − Not wrong, she goes and brings baby, it will be, hey watch the baby we need a night of just the 2 of us.. Make your plans, do not share any info.

SusanMShwartz − She is not being sensible. And she probably thinks she, as the mommy princess, will set the pace and the rules.

CathoftheNorth − Not wrong at all. It's YOUR anniversary and noone else has the right to demand you bend for them. Even the flight with a baby will be a nightmare let alone everything else it will spoil for you and your husband.

This is a romantic holiday not a family trip. Your friend is being selfish, that baby needs to safe and sound at home learning routines not risking covid to have a good time.

facinationstreet − *she will still go on our anniversary trip* She's delusional. Plan your trip as if they won't be there. Don't split costs with them. If they decide to still go, you and your husband continue with your plans regardless of naps, feedings, etc.. NTA

Far-Cup9063 − Yeah, now that she is expecting, that changes everything. It’s very difficult to travel with a baby. Just let her know this changes things and you and your husband will be going by yourselves.

Sarah’s story reminds us that even the best-laid plans can unravel when boundaries blur. Her courage to prioritize her anniversary while navigating friendship drama is a lesson in balance. It’s a universal tug-of-war—loving fiercely yet carving out space for yourself.

How would you handle a friend crashing your dream moment? Share your thoughts and experiences below—let’s keep the conversation going!

Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *