AITA for refusing to let my parents rename me?

When your parents give you a name, it’s something you carry with you throughout your entire life. It becomes a part of your identity, a symbol of who you are. But what happens when the parents who chose those names start to regret their decisions? This is the dilemma faced by a 15-year-old whose parents, after years of pride in their children’s unique nature-themed names—Cove, Ocean, and River—decided to change them.

They now want to give their children more “traditional” names like James, Elizabeth, and Michael. But as the teen shares, the kids are not on board with the change. In fact, they are feeling cornered and frustrated, which leaves them questioning: Are they in the wrong for refusing?

It’s a situation many can relate to—how do you respect your parents’ wishes while also protecting your sense of self? In this post, we dive into the tension between parental authority and the children’s right to autonomy over their own names. So, what’s the verdict? Let’s see what the Reddit community thinks.

‘AITA for refusing to let my parents rename me?’

Choosing a name for a child is a monumental decision. It’s more than just something they answer to; a name is tied to their identity and how they see themselves in the world. When parents regret their choices later on, especially when it comes to their children’s names, it creates a difficult dynamic, as seen in this Reddit story.

According to Dr. Deborah Davis, a psychologist specializing in family dynamics, “Names carry significant emotional weight, and changing them—especially after children have lived with them for years—can feel like an invalidation of their identity. It’s important to consider the long-term emotional consequences before attempting to change something so fundamental.”

In this case, the children’s emotional attachment to their names—Cove, Ocean, and River—has grown over the years. It’s no longer just about the names themselves but about the identity and history they represent.

Further, the age of the children (15 and 13) complicates matters. At this stage, children and teens begin to assert more independence, which includes a stronger sense of self. While it’s not uncommon for young people to dislike their names during adolescence, the refusal to change them should be respected, as it ties directly into their growing autonomy. Parents must be willing to accept that their children may not always agree with them on everything, including the names they’ve chosen.

The situation is made more complex by the fact that the parents didn’t just casually suggest a name change—they insisted on it, disregarding the children’s preferences. This overreach can feel disrespectful to the children, as their agency in the matter has been undermined. Dr. Davis notes that this kind of disregard can create a sense of helplessness in children, especially when they feel their voices are not being heard.

In an ideal scenario, the parents would have engaged in a more open discussion with their children, allowing them to express their thoughts and feelings about the change. Instead, they imposed their preferences without considering the children’s attachments or desires, which can have long-term effects on the parent-child relationship.

Here’s the feedback from the Reddit community:

Now, let’s take a look at what Reddit users have to say about this name-change drama. As you can imagine, the community had strong opinions on this one, ranging from empathy to outright disbelief at the parents’ actions.

This story raises important questions about identity, autonomy, and parental influence. At the end of the day, names are a reflection of who we are, and for teenagers, who they’re becoming. Parents may regret their choices, but that doesn’t mean their children should bear the burden of those regrets.

What do you think? Should parents have the power to rename their children if they regret their initial choice? Or should kids have full autonomy over their names once they reach a certain age? Share your thoughts below—let’s keep the conversation going.