Am I Wrong for Throwing a Line my Parents Always Used to Use On Me Back In Their Faces?

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A wedding should glow with love, but for a 27-year-old woman, it became a battleground against her neglectful parents. Raised as the overlooked middle child, she endured years of favoritism toward her brothers, from ignored birthdays to a rusty bike gifted then snatched away.

Now, planning her dream day with her fiancée, she faced demands to center her brothers yet again. When she hurled her parents’ cruel words—“You’re just being selfish”—back at them, she reclaimed her moment. Was she wrong to fight back?

‘Am I Wrong for Throwing a Line my Parents Always Used to Use On Me Back In Their Faces?’

Throwaway because I'm pretty certain my brothers have Reddit, and I don't want them to know my main.I (27F) have always been the kid who my parents didn’t give a crap about. As the middle child, it was always, “Oh, your sibling needs us more.” And my needs were quite often just not met.

Any attempt to get my parents to do something with or for me was met with being called selfish and told my siblings needs came before mine right now. Neither of my siblings have special needs; they are just both kind of spoiled brats. My brothers (30 and 25) are the golden oldest child and their precious baby. I was the unwanted girl child in the middle.

They made this clear in all sorts of ways, from not wanting to pay for my school supplies and wanting me to figure it out, to the way birthdays were treated, to Christmas. Forget them showing up to anything for me, but I was expected to drop everything to show up to any and everything my brothers did. Brothers both got brand new cars for their 16th birthdays, but I didn't need one.

I got a rusty bike they found at a garage sale and told if I could fix it up, they guessed I could have it. I fixed it up, and they gave it to my brother instead. I moved in with my aunt on my 18th birthday. I’m getting married to a wonderful woman, and my parents just recently found out.

They called me several kinds of butthurt as to why I hadn’t told them and then immediately started in on how I couldn't do certain things because of my brothers. I can’t have a nice chicken or fish dish; it has to be steak or pizza or they won't eat it. I can't be too affectionate because you know how guys get around two girls being together.

I can't have a wedding party if they can't be involved. I finally snapped. I told them that neither they nor my apparently perverted brothers were invited. That for once, something was about me, not them. I told them that I had no interest in making my wedding about their crappy sons, who have achieved nothing in life so far because they babied them to the point of uselessness.

My wedding was not about what they wanted. My mother cried, and my father asked why I was treating them so poorly. I said, “You’re just being selfish, my needs come before yours right now.” There was a stunned silence before my father told me that it wasn’t fair that I would say that to them because this was a different situation.

I hung up and blocked them both, but my cousin, who I’m close to, said they were making a huge ordeal out of it. They’ve been calling other family members and then being surprised when they’re told yes, they can believe I’d not want them making my wedding about them or my brothers.

My mother apparently posted a long woe is me, where did I go wrong post on FB but took it down after my aunt lit her up in the comments about where she went wrong. My older brother reached out just once to ask if he really wasn’t invited, and I said yeah, he really wasn’t. He seemed a little upset, but at this point, I don’t even care

All he said after that was that I shouldn’t have said what I did to our parents and that they are upset they aren’t invited to the wedding, and even if I didn’t invite him or our other brother, I should at least invite them. I refused and hung up. My parents and brothers don’t know when or where we’re getting married, I never intended to invite them, but eloping is starting to look pretty good right about now.

My grandmother has reached out only once to say while she kind of understands why I don't want them there, it was kind of a blow low to throw the line they always used on me back in their faces. I thought maybe I'd get some 3rd party opinions here, but I don't think I was wrong.

This wedding showdown is a masterclass in breaking free from toxic family patterns. The woman’s parents, by prioritizing her brothers, fostered a dynamic of neglect that psychologist Dr. Susan Forward calls “favoritism syndrome” in her book Toxic Parents. “When parents consistently favor one child, the others internalize worthlessness,” she writes (SusanForward.com).

The woman’s use of their dismissive phrase was a powerful boundary, reclaiming her agency after years of being sidelined. A 2022 study in Family Process links parental favoritism to long-term self-esteem issues in disfavored children (Wiley Online Library).

Her parents’ outrage reflects their refusal to own their failures, a common trait in dysfunctional families. Dr. Forward advises disfavored children to set firm boundaries, even if it means cutting contact, to protect mental health. The woman’s choice to exclude her family prioritizes her well-being and her fiancée’s happiness.

For others facing similar dynamics, therapy or support groups can help process resentment and build confidence. Her story invites reflection: how do you reclaim your worth when family undervalues you?

Check out how the community responded:

Reddit erupted with cheers and sly nods, hailing the woman’s clapback as a mic-drop moment. From praising her “boss move” to urging tight security to keep her family out, the community had her back. Some even floated eloping to dodge the drama entirely.

Raffzz15 − NTA and throwing that line back at them was a boss move.

Shadowedwolf89 − NTA. Throwing their own words back at them was magical. I would be careful about who you invite, as you don’t want someone who may give them the date and address. Eloping is a great idea to protect your peace!

Lucky-Guess8786 − You are not wrong. Your parents deserved everything you said.. I hope you have a wonderful wedding and happy married life.

Over-Marionberry-686 − You are my new favorite AHole 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 bravo. Bravo. What you said was EXACTLY what needed to be said. Go. Get married. Hire security and give them photos of mom and dad and brothers with do not allow inside directions. Have a GREAT wedding and a happy life

groovymama98 − NW. Grandma, how low were they to tell me and also make me feel like I was not important my entire life? Nuff said.

Megmelons55 − Frankly this is the only way some people realize how s**tty they have been. NTA, I bet using that line felt awesome.

GottaKnowYourCKN − Congratulations on getting married! Always love seeing some queer love thrive! *As a queer woman myself, fwiw.* You don't have to go back on your word. Your parents will try and guilt you, get you to invite them, which in their mind will be the excuse they need to fool themselves into thinking that

One-Confidence-6858 − These posts always break my heart. I’ve got 3 adult children. I can’t imagine ignoring one of them Or thinking one of them is less important than the others. NTA. I wish you and your fiancé a life time of love and happiness.

Baldydom − Sadly I think you were 100% right in your response. Before I met my wife I went out with a lovely psychiatric nurse. She had 2 brothers and her parents helped both of them buy houses, gave her no help whatsoever. I think for some parents, their sons are everything and daughters are completely overlooked until they are useful for something. I bet if you don't cut them off, you'll be the one they expect to look after them when they're old. Do what's best for you and your partner

CaptainWellingtonIII − This sounds unreal. The bike thing was effed up to the tenth degree. But then the entire family acknowledging that your parents were POSs to you your entire life.. Good luck and I hope you have a wonderful wedding and life.

These fiery takes are Reddit gold, but do they fully grasp the weight of her lifelong struggle, or just revel in the showdown?

From a rusty bike to a radiant wedding, this story charts a woman’s journey from neglect to empowerment. Her sharp retort, echoing her parents’ cruelty, drew a line they couldn’t cross. As she plans her future, will eloping seal her freedom? Have you ever had to shut out family to protect your joy? What would you do to keep your wedding yours? Spill your thoughts—let’s toast to her bold new chapter.

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