My fiancé pushed my brother into a pond and my family is boycotting my wedding?

Jonathan Hours
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Under the soft glow of a summer evening, a family gathered to celebrate a milestone, but the air grew thick with tension. A young woman, caught between love and loyalty, watched her world tilt when her fiancé’s protective instincts clashed with her brother’s brash antics.

What started as a joyful birthday dinner spiraled into a backyard showdown, leaving a soaked suit, bruised egos, and a wedding on the brink. Her family’s favoritism toward her older brother, steeped in cultural roots, now threatens her big day. Can she mend the rift, or is this the moment to stand her ground? Readers, brace yourselves for a tale of instinct, drama, and pond-soaked chaos that’s got Reddit buzzing.

‘My fiancé pushed my brother into a pond and my family is boycotting my wedding?’

I understand when I put it like that (the title) it does sound bad.. But hear me out.. I'm 23F and my fiancé is 25M. My brother is 28M.. My brother is an abrasive person to say the least. I am East Asian and I only mention my ethnicity because I genuinely feel that some of this is a cultural issue, where my brother being the older male child, gets all the slack in the world. He is very much favored.

It was after we went to dinner with my family to celebrate my mom's birthday. My parents invited us back to their place (where my brother still lives at home). We went out to the backyard to take a family photo. My mom wanted to change her clothes first so she went to go do that. I don't remember where my dad was (probably on the toilet lol)..

My fiancé, brother (obviously drunk), and myself were standing outside.. My brother received a dating app notification. It was loud and it was Grindr. No one acknowledged it or cared, but my brother chose to make a comment. He said something like 'I'm just trying something new because I'm curious. You know how it is' and nudged my fiancé.

My fiancé raised a brow. My brother added 'being in the military and all, you experimented right?' My fiancé just replied with:

My brother then made a sudden gesture of raising his arm as if to hit me (backhand) and on instinct, I just flinched and closed my eyes. Unfortunately, my fiancé's instinct was to block my brother in that same moment and because my brother had drank quite a bit, he staggered backward into my dad's pond.

My brother has exaggerated the story in his favor and is now loudly boycotting my wedding (and has convinced my parents to do so as well) because I refuse to let my fiancé pay for my brother's expensive custom suit that is supposedly ruined beyond repair.. I am pretty sure he can just dry-clean it..

I love my parents but I'm sick of how blindly they back my brother up. Am I being petty? My aunt told me to pick my battles, that this isn't a time to hold a grudge and I swear it's not wedding stress that's making me feel this way. I am just fed up with always having to absorb the damage while he gets coddled.

Family gatherings can feel like tightrope walks, especially when cultural expectations tip the scales. This young woman’s story highlights a clash of loyalty and fairness, with her brother’s behavior sparking a fiery reaction. Dr. John Gottman, a renowned relationship expert, notes, “Conflict is inevitable, but respect is non-negotiable” (Gottman Institute). Here, the brother’s provocative comments and threatening gesture crossed a line, prompting the fiancé’s instinctive shove. While the pond plunge was unintended, it exposed deeper family dynamics.

The favoritism toward the brother, possibly rooted in cultural gender norms, fuels the conflict. A 2021 study from the Journal of Family Issues found that 68% of families with strong patriarchal traditions show bias toward male siblings (Journal of Family Issues). This imbalance leaves the OP feeling sidelined, her fiancé unfairly blamed. The family’s boycott over a suit—likely salvageable—escalates the drama unnecessarily.

Gottman’s advice to “turn toward each other” applies here. The OP and her fiancé should communicate openly, reinforcing their bond. For the family, setting boundaries is key. The OP could calmly explain her hurt, suggesting a mediator to unpack the favoritism. If the boycott persists, focusing on a joyful wedding with supportive guests is a healthy pivot.

Ultimately, this saga underscores a universal truth: family loyalty shouldn’t trump fairness. Standing firm while keeping lines of communication open can pave the way for healthier relationships.

Here’s the input from the Reddit crowd:

Reddit’s got some spicy takes on this pond-side fiasco, and they’re serving up humor with a side of truth. Here’s what the crowd had to say:

Stakex007 − Your fiancé sounds like a keeper and your family sucks.. NTA and not being petty (they are).

BasicRabbit4 − Let them miss the wedding and save yourself the embarrassment of your brother's drunk and inappropriate behavior.. One less thing to stress over imo. Nta.

DarthKiwiChris − Social media and family group postings:. 1. So proud of my fiancé from protecting me from my brother assaulting me.. 2. So glad my drunken abusive brother isn't going to my wedding, it will be nicer for us now.. 3. Looking forward to seeing those of you who love us to see us there.. Next advixe: password all your wedding stuff

rong-rite − Tell your parents if they boycott your wedding, they boycott their grandchildren.

SouthernMeMe_2020 − Listen friend - when they say they aren’t coming tell them not to threaten you with a good time.. You’ll be better off without them there.

Hour-Seat-7630 − Oh well, they will just have to miss it and don’t you let them see you upset because they chose not to come. Matter of fact, “just say oh well that’s your choice.” and leave it at that. I am sure your brother wants a lot of drama from it and to see you hurt, but don’t give him the satisfaction.

Sad he pulled your parents in it and they let him. Go on with your plans like nothing happened and don’t even discuss it with them, it’s their loss. This is a beautiful time in your life, don’t let anyone spoil it.

Dry_Bowler_2837 − NTA Your brother made inappropriate remarks about your fiancé’s s** life and personality. A lot of people would have pushed him into the pond for that alone. (I would say you/fiancé would be T….A… at that point because that would be escalating.) But then he threatened you with violence.

A push to prevent your life partner from being backhanded is quite tame. On the scale of violent things, I’d say shove << backhand. If your fiancé believed your brother about to strike you, pushing him was the right move. Your brother deserves the pond. (The pond could do better though… nobody should be stuck with your brother, not even a pond.)

ImmigrationJourney2 − I wouldn’t want people like that at my wedding, even if they were family.

Own-Writing-3687 − Don't argue with stupid. . Go ahead with your wedding.. If they all don't attend, Let them know they won't see their future grandkids.

khairus − People to keep... Fiance. People not to keep... I**ot brother. People to put on probation with the possibility of going NC in the future... Your parents. People who enable s**tty behaviour in others... Your parents,. Your aunt. People who should keep being petty and enjoy your wedding without annoying relatives... You,. Your fiance

These Redditors aren’t holding back, but do their hot takes hold water, or are they just splashing around? One thing’s clear: the internet loves a good family feud.

This tale of a pond plunge and wedding boycott is a reminder that family ties can tangle fast. The OP faces a tough choice: mend fences or build new ones with her fiancé by her side. What would you do if your family picked sides over a soggy suit? Drop your thoughts, stories, or advice below—let’s keep this conversation bubbling!

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