AITA for wanting my boyfriend to come straight home after work (on some days) to help me destress after taking care of our 4 month old son all day?
In a small apartment, where the cries of a 4-month-old echo, a new mom battles exhaustion under the weight of 24/7 childcare. Her boyfriend, an IT worker, unwinds nightly at the sauna or with drinks, leaving her to hold the fort alone. All she asks is for a few early evenings to catch her breath—a bath, a quiet meal. But when his brother calls her needs selfish, sparks fly. This Reddit story dives into the raw struggle of parenting and partnership.
The air feels thick with unspoken expectations as this first-time mom navigates a relentless routine, tethered to her breastfeeding son. Her boyfriend’s nightly escapes, cloaked as stress relief, clash with her plea for balance. When his brother dismisses her mental health, readers are left wondering: is she asking too much, or is fairness lost in the steam of the sauna?
‘AITA for wanting my boyfriend to come straight home after work (on some days) to help me destress after taking care of our 4 month old son all day?’
The OP’s dropped an update on the saga—curious? Click here to check it out!
Parenting is a team sport, but this mom’s playing solo. Her boyfriend’s nightly three-hour sauna or bar trips, even with a curfew, sideline her need for rest. His brother’s claim that her stress is less valid than her boyfriend’s is a gut punch. Psychologist Dr. Jessica Griffin, a family therapy expert, says, “Equity in parenting means both partners prioritize each other’s wellbeing” (source: Parents.com). Here, the scales tip heavily against the mom.
The boyfriend’s routine suggests he’s dodging fatherhood duties, perhaps overwhelmed by new responsibilities. His brother’s defense dismisses the mom’s grueling 24/7 role, especially with breastfeeding demands. Her request for occasional early evenings is reasonable, yet met with resistance, hinting at deeper entitlement.
This reflects a wider issue: unequal parenting loads. A 2022 study found 65% of mothers handle more childcare than fathers, even in dual-income homes (source: Pew Research Center). The mom’s mental health is critical, not secondary to her boyfriend’s.
Dr. Griffin advises couples to set clear co-parenting schedules. The mom could propose specific days for him to come home early, framing it as teamwork. If resistance persists, counseling may help.
Here’s how people reacted to the post:
Reddit came out swinging with this one, serving up a mix of outrage and tough love. From calling out the boyfriend’s priorities to questioning the brother’s free ride, the comments don’t hold back:
![[Reddit User] − NTA. You are a woman. They are men. I’ve seen hundreds of posts like this on Reddit, and they are all the same: the woman has to sacrifice so the husband doesn’t have to do anything.. BIL is a b**. If he’s not helping, show him the door. BF needs to smarten up. You might be in some trouble here with him, there’s a whole bunch of red flags. The sauna? For three hours? Hmmm....](https://en.aubtu.biz/wp-content/uploads/2025/04/148010cmt-05.png)
These takes are fiery, but do they cut to the heart of the issue, or just fan the flames? One thing’s clear—Reddit’s got no patience for sauna-side parenting!
This tale of a stressed mom and a sauna-loving dad lays bare the messy truth of new parenthood. Is she wrong for wanting a breather, or is her boyfriend’s brother way off base? Reddit’s verdict leans hard toward teamwork, but every family’s dynamic is unique. What would you do if your partner left you solo with a newborn every night? Drop your thoughts below and let’s unpack this parenting puzzle together!
For those who want to read the sequel: UPDATE: AITA for wanting my boyfriend to come straight home after work (on some days) to help me destress after taking care of our 4 month old son all day?
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