AITAH for not dropping my dorm room?

A first-year university student thought securing a spot in a coveted dorm building was a dream come true—until their new roommates turned it into a nightmare. After finalizing their housing, the student faced pressure to drop the room so a friend of the roommates could move in. When they refused, citing the building’s unique amenities, insults like “rude” and “inconsiderate” flew, followed by threats of being unwelcome. Now, the student’s resolve is tested as they face a hostile start to college life.

Their Reddit post spills the frustration of being targeted for a choice that felt fair. With the roommates digging in, the story sparks debates about standing your ground, navigating peer pressure, and the realities of dorm life. Is the student wrong for holding onto their hard-won room, or are the roommates out of line?

‘AITAH for not dropping my dorm room?’

So, a couple weeks ago I finalized my housing and confirmed my dorm room. I really didn't think much into it, all I cared about is being in this specific building bc it is much newer and has specific amenities in the actual building. This is my first year at the university and I was really struggling to figure out the website so I was only just now able to contact my roommates.

They asked me politely if I could drop the room because they had already planned on having one of their friends stay with them. I would have gladly changed rooms however bc this building is nicer, it ended up getting completely booked out early on.

I let them know that I would not be dropping the room as I wanted to stay in this building and they started to insult me and call me

They then said they would not switch rooms bc they would have to change buildings and that I should just act like an adult and leave bc none of them want me there. It honestly hurt hearing all of this when I don't see how this is an issue?

They made it clear to me that if I don't drop the room then I would not be welcomed. I don't want to drop the room, not even trying to be petty but I had wanted to stay in this building for specific reasons and if I drop the room I will have to stay in a different building that does not the same amenities or perks, AITAH?

Dorm disputes can set the tone for a student’s college experience, and this freshman’s clash highlights the power dynamics of shared living. The roommates’ attempt to push the student out for their friend crosses into bullying, especially with insults and threats. Dr. Susan Lipkins, a psychologist specializing in group dynamics, notes, “Early college roommate conflicts often stem from cliques forming before move-in, leaving newcomers vulnerable to exclusion.” The roommates’ refusal to compromise signals an intent to dominate the space.

This reflects a broader issue: housing conflicts in university settings. A 2022 study by the Journal of Student Affairs Research found 35% of first-year students face roommate disputes, with 20% involving harassment over room assignments. The student’s choice to stay is reasonable—securing a preferred dorm is a legitimate priority, and the roommates could seek alternatives themselves.

Dr. Lipkins advises escalating to housing authorities with documented evidence, like emails or texts, to ensure safety and fairness. The student could request a room change within the building or mediation to set ground rules. Reporting the harassment early prevents escalation and protects their well-being. Readers, how do you handle conflicts with new roommates?

Here’s how people reacted to the post:

The Reddit community rallied behind the student, condemning the roommates’ bullying and urging swift action. Commenters labeled the roommates’ demands as unfair, advising the student to report their harassing messages to the housing department or dean, bypassing the RA for stronger intervention.The consensus was clear: the student’s right to their chosen dorm outweighs the roommates’ clique-driven pressure, and reporting the behavior is key to securing a safer living situation.

IAmTAAlways − NTA and you need to report this to your RA.

celticmusebooks −

Weird_Inevitable8427 − Did they say that in writing? PLEASE let them say that in writing. Take it to the dean. Forget the RA. Take it right to the top. They are planning on bullying you, and they are violating something in the university agreement, I'm all but sure. Just let them dig their own grave. Then you can get a new set of better roommates.

False-Leg-5752 − Forward this to the housing department. Let them handle it. They will most likely rescind the housing placement in its entirety. Be firm and do not say anything along the lines of “it’s not a big deal” “I just want things to be peaceful”. Lots of people are saying reach out to the RA. But RAs will not have been assigned yet.

salamanderinacan − There is no gaurentee that the friend they wanted is next on the wait list for the building. If you drop, they will likely harass the next person. Send this to University Housing.

viperspm − NTA but you need to find a way out of that room. My daughter was in a T10 university and struggled the first year due to cunty roommates. It affected every aspect of her life that year. 2nd year she got a different room and it was like a weight lifted off her shoulders

historical-duck2319 − hi! i work in student affairs! send these emails to your housing department NOW! they should be able to remove you and put you in the same building in a different room or at least do something to fix this issue for you. this is unacceptable behavior and could result in community standards violations if they continue to threaten you.

Necessary_Service_99 − NTA. They are making demands of you that they themselves fail to live up to. If they threaten or mistreat you further, report them as it is harassment and I’m sure the campus won’t tolerate it. Maybe you’ll end up with it all to yourself if they insist on being children!

ButterscotchIll1523 − Call housing at the college and share the messages.

SuspiciousMeat6696 − Talk to housing. Keep receipts. Hopefully you have all this in writing.. But you certainly don't want to live with these people. They will make your life miserable.. Let housing know you are being harassed.. You may just wind up in a single and have your own room to yourself.

Also, they may put you in a different building BUT tough it out 1st semester. After 1st semester, there will be dropouts and you'll have a better chance moving in to your preferred building spring semester.. But definitely contact housing with written proof of harassment.

This student’s fight to keep their dorm room isn’t just about a building—it’s about claiming their place in a new world. The roommates’ insults and threats reveal a power play, but the student’s refusal to budge shows grit. As they navigate this rocky start, the story pushes us to ask: when do you stand your ground against group pressure? If you faced hostile roommates, would you stay or switch? Share your thoughts below and let’s unpack the art of surviving dorm drama.

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