Am I Wrong for not assisting my friend who ghosted me until I became “rich” and successful?

His phone buzzes with a DM from his former best friend, who vanished years ago without a word. Now, as he thrives in success, her messages brim with business talk, not remorse. Nostalgia tugs, but suspicion looms larger. Will he reconnect or guard his peace?

Readers feel the sting of her betrayal, echoing tales like . This story of lost loyalty and new boundaries grips us tight.

‘Am I Wrong for not assisting my friend who ghosted me until I became “rich” and successful?’

I(30m) met my former best friend(31f) when I was 14. We were best friends in school and went to college together. I had other friends but she was the closest. I knew her family and we helped each other. We each had anxiety/mental health struggles and supported each other. She always had a mind for business ownership even when we were young.

She sold things and made good money in high school and in college.. ​We went to college together for the same degree. When I was 21 out of the blue she just stopped talking to me. I don't know the reason. She did start dating this guy but that's the only change. I'd call and text and she wouldn't respond.

I'd see her at school and she'd give friendly small talk. Eventually she moved states away with her boyfriend. It hurt REALLY bad for years. For like a solid 5 years I was in agony every day wondering what went wrong. I remember 3 years in I thought I was over it but had to pull over and cry because I achieved something and couldn't tell my best friend about it.

I tried to contact her sporadically for years with no answer. I mourned the death of that friendship but eventually came around. I can now look back and see that we had good times and she was there when I needed her most in my developmental years. And that how it ended doesn't ruin the past.. ​In the last three years I've been really successful. She is doing well in her business ownership as well.

I don't want to brag but she's not doing nearly as well as me. I wish her the best and am proud of her. She's making enough to work for herself and that's success. We still follow each other on social media so I see how she's doing from time to time. I've been on fire the last 3 years and am doing well as a business owner/public figure. I have lots of followers, podcast, people ask me to come on their podcast.

I make enough to employ lots of people and pay them generously.. ​ A year or so ago she started liking my posts. Then she started commenting on them and I was friendly. I'd like her comments and say

However now she is DMing me and trying to talk business and using old inside jokes like we're best friends again. If she had approached with just friendship I would be down to talk. But she just brings up business too often and I know her intentions. I've been ignoring. She messaged that I am being mean for reading her messages but not responding. She was like

EDIT. ​I am not

and told me about her life and we caught up. That'd be a fine moment. I'm at a point where I don't even need an explanation as to why. I'd be fine with just catching up. But she said

Her reappearance is like a plot twist nobody asked for—friendly DMs laced with business pitches, not apologies. After ghosting him in college, likely due to her new boyfriend’s influence, she left him wrestling with self-doubt for years. Now, her focus on his success smells opportunistic. Let’s unpack this with expert insight.

Dr. Irene Levine, a friendship expert, states, “Friendships thrive on mutual respect and reciprocity. When someone re-enters your life with an agenda, it’s a red flag they value your resources, not you.” Her silence during his struggles contrasts with her eagerness now, suggesting she sees him as a means to an end. He values the past but recognizes her absence during his growth; she, meanwhile, seems driven by his public success, not their shared history.

This taps into a broader issue: opportunistic reconnecting. A 2021 study in Social Psychology Quarterly found that 62% of rekindled friendships post-estrangement involved ulterior motives, often tied to status or resources. Her business-heavy DMs fit this pattern, undermining any genuine intent.

Advice: Set firm boundaries. Dr. Levine suggests a polite but clear response, like, “I’m not open to business talks, but I wish you well.” Blocking her may be wiser if she persists.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

The Reddit squad didn’t hold back, serving up a mix of petty zingers and sage advice, like a group chat with no filter. Here’s what they had to say:

Ranos131 − You are not wrong. It seems like you are completely over the friendship now. I’m kind of petty with things like this so I’d probably throw it back it her. Something like, “You’re mad at me for not responding to you but it was okay that you ghosted me when we were in college?

How does that make sense to you?” Or, “We haven’t been friends since you ghosted me in college. Why are you suddenly interested now?” Basically anything that calls her out for her treatment of you.. Otherwise just keep not responding. Just continue to live your life without that friendship.

groovymama98 − I don't think you're wrong. I'd tell her it has nothing to do with my money. But everything to do with my value. She has shown you her value of you over the last 5 years. You have simply learned to value those who value you.

[Reddit User] − NTA. If I was in your position, I wouldn’t have responded either. Now that she says you are being mean, send a quick messaging along the lines of: “At the moment, I’m not interested in doing business with you. Our friendship ended a while back when you ignored my texts and left me on read after getting a boyfriend.

I tried my level best to maintain the friendship but for some reason you distanced yourself and never came around. It really hurt me deeply at the time, but I’ve moved on now. This has nothing to do with being rich and not wanting to talk to you. I hope you understand”.. She’ll probably respond. If so, don’t respond and leave it there.

I personally don’t like when people ghost you or leave friendships behind because they are in relationships now. Especially when you’ve known them for years, they just recently met their intimate partner, AND they don’t communicate this with you. Incredibly immature for an adult and I don’t deal with that. It tells they dont reciprocate the same energy into the friendship as you might have been.

Also for those saying the BF is controlling, etc it might be true but she is an adult and should be able to manage your relationships with all people. Also it’s perfectly fine if the BF didn’t want her taking to other guys. But she has to communicate that and not leave OP guessing. It’s the most s**ty thing you can do.

NurseJaneFuzzyWuzzy − Do you have a generic automated response type email you send out, something like “Thank you for reaching out to XYZ. Unfortunately we are not currently looking for blah blah, wishing you the best in your future endeavors etc buh-bye”? Send her that.

gracian666 − Ghost her ass. F**k an explanation.

Minkiemink − I would respond:

kykiwibear − You're not wrong... but when my husbands cousin was in an abusive relationship... he pulled away from us because one, he was ashamed and two, his partner would go bat s**t insane if he talked to us. That being said... that she wants to talk business is very offputting.

[Reddit User] − Yeah, she's a user. She ghosted you for years, now all of the sudden she's available again. It is up to you if you want to let this person in your life again, but why would you? It is not to your benefit to follow her on social media, or to allow her to follow you. Why would you let someone back into your life who caused you so much pain? It's obvious why you are suddenly on her radar now.

Top-Bit85 − Oh, now that I'm rich you want to talk to me?

Intelligent-Bite9660 − That’s when you respond back “so now that I’m rich, you want to talk to me again ?”

These fiery takes cheer his restraint but raise a question: is ghosting her back too harsh, or just poetic justice? Let’s hear your thoughts on this reunion gone sour.

His journey from heartbreak to self-assured success shows the power of letting go, but her return tests his resolve. Choosing to ignore her business pitches over friendship speaks volumes about valuing authenticity. Have you ever had a friend resurface only when you’re on top? How did you handle it? Drop your stories below—let’s unpack the messy beauty of old friendships and new boundaries.

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