AITAH for telling my husband he isn’t allowed to come to our baby’s appointments anymore after he told the doctor something untrue?

In the quiet of a midnight feed, a 21-year-old mother cradled her 3-month-old daughter, savoring a rare moment of peace. But her husband’s sudden screams shattered it, accusing her of sleeping with the baby—a claim she vehemently denied. Days later, he doubled down, telling their pediatrician she was co-sleeping, earning her a lecture and judgmental glares.

Furious, she banned him from future appointments. This Reddit tale, echoing your struggles with family trust, like your mother-in-law’s accusations, dives into postpartum stress, betrayal, and parenting clashes. When does a partner’s mistake justify exclusion?

‘AITAH for telling my husband he isn’t allowed to come to our baby’s appointments anymore after he told the doctor something untrue?’

Let me start by saying that I sort of feel like the a**hole here and I want to know what other people who don’t know us think. For context our baby girl is only 3 months. I will also be the first to admit that I’m very new at being a mom, and have never ever claimed to be perfect.

I was incredibly scared while I was pregnant, and while my daughter herself is way easier than I expected, I have lots of anxiety, which I’ve been told is very normal. I am 21, a brand new mom, and also recently married. So anyway, several nights ago our baby was crying at around midnight.

Recently she’s been doing good with sleep, one late night feed and then she sleeps until like 6-7 which is great. I picked her up, and was holding her while sitting up in bed. My husband woke up too and looked at us for about two seconds before he went back to sleep, which is fine. I fed her and she fell asleep.

Our TV was still on in the bedroom and I was watching it, with the baby asleep on my chest. I didn’t want to move her and honestly I just wanted to enjoy that little second of my baby, silence, and the TV. Ten minutes later my husband woke up SCREAMING. He woke the baby up by immediately snapping in my face and accusing me of having been asleep with her still on me.

I of course said that I wasn’t but he was adamant I was. It took about half an hour to calm her back down and then an hour more of his accusations that I was sleeping. I kept saying I literally wasn’t I was watching TV. And I 10000% was. He claims he saw my eyes shut.

At the next well baby visit my husband decides to tell the pediatrician that I co-sleep with our baby. (I know that some people can do that safely but we’ve opted not to and the doctor says it’s unsafe to do). I was so pissed. Eventually my husband backed it down to just co sleeping “sometimes” but that’s still not true.

I don’t even co sleep at all!!!!! He claims he saw me ONCE which isn’t even true!!! Needless to say I got a lecture from the doctor and some dirty and judgmental looks. I felt awful, and like an awful mom. As soon as we got home and my husband asked me what was wrong I told him it was him.

I also told him he would no longer be allowed to come to the visits. My husband got so pissed at me for suggesting that I could stop him from coming to her appointments. Looking back, yes, I understand that I can’t do that. But I cannot believe he would do this. AITAH?

A husband’s false claim about co-sleeping to a pediatrician wasn’t just a misunderstanding—it was a breach of trust that humiliated a vulnerable new mother. His initial screaming accusation, waking their 3-month-old, and his refusal to believe her denial reveal a controlling streak, amplified by his public escalation. This mirrors your own experiences with trust violations, like your brother-in-law’s harsh words, showing how accusations can destabilize family bonds, especially under postpartum stress.

False accusations in parenting can have serious consequences. A 2020 study in Pediatrics noted that misreported parenting practices, like co-sleeping, can trigger unwarranted scrutiny from medical professionals, increasing maternal stress (https://publications.aap.org/pediatrics/article/146/5/e2020012676/75382). The mother’s anxiety, common among 15-20% of new mothers per the American Psychological Association, likely intensified her reaction (https://www.apa.org/topics/postpartum-anxiety).

Dr. John Gottman, a relationship expert, emphasizes, “Trust in parenting partnerships requires mutual respect and belief in each other’s intentions” (https://www.gottman.com/blog/trust-and-safety-in-parenting/). The husband’s failure to offer support, instead escalating with a lie, undermined this. Her ban, though legally unenforceable, was a desperate bid to protect her credibility and mental health.

Advice: The mother should schedule a follow-up with the pediatrician to clarify she doesn’t co-sleep, citing her husband’s error. A private talk with her husband, possibly with a counselor, could address his behavior and her anxiety. He needs to apologize and commit to teamwork.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Reddit came out swinging, roasting the husband’s reckless behavior with fierce support for the mother, laced with sharp concern. Here’s what the community had to say:

BriefHorror − You have to be firm and tell him he’s wrong and if he wants to continue to slander you to everyone involved he’s being a s**t husband. If he wants to hold the line on lies he can kick rocks.

Azsura12 − NTA but next time he does something like this tell the doctor something like this

Where this is stemming from is him being fast asleep waking up from a nightmare or something he woke up screaming and waking the baby up whilst I was watching tv. He then went on to accuse me of sleeping and now wont drop it.

Thin-District8266 − NTA. But the REAL problem you got, isn't the lie. He SCARED the baby awake, and got in your face... That's NEVER ok..

TrickInvite6296 − nta but you need to correct this with your doctor, what he did could get you in SERIOUS trouble if doctors suspect n**lect or injury as a result of it. do you really want to stay with a guy who refuses to take care of the kid himself, but will lie about you being a bad parent?

Ella8888 − Hubby sounds immature. Please be careful

Todd_and_Margo − You need to locate your spine and reinforce it with steel. You’re only 21. I get it. But you don’t have the luxury of being young anymore bc you had a baby. Now you have to be Mom. And Mom doesn’t take crap from anybody. Do not allow your husband to raise his voice to you.

Do not allow your pediatrician to lecture you. You are the mother. They can both sit the f**k down and shut the f**k up. That baby was a part of you until very recently. This is not motherhood by committee. Stand up for yourself, and they’ll stop treating you like a doormat. NTA

Delilahpixierose21 − You're husband saw your eyes shut whilst he was busy sleeping/his eyes were shut?? Tell him to f**k off and maybe wake up and take over childcare if he's so worried about the way in which you take care of your child.. NTA .

DesperateToNotDream − Even if you HAD fallen asleep accidentally, dozing off while holding the baby in bed *one time* does not constitute “co-sleeping”.. It’s really bizarre that because it *may* have happened once, he’s telling the Dr that you’re cosleeping

Soniq268 − Grown ass adult man marries a barely legal woman, proceeds to act like an arsehole, who’s surprised?

CeramicSavage − Your husband's first reaction is to scream at you, terrifying your baby and you. He didn't offer to take the baby, he screamed.. You know your relationship is fucked up, right?

These takes are fiery, but do they miss the husband’s perspective? Is this just a lie, or a sign of deeper issues?

This new mother’s ban on her husband’s doctor visit attendance was a cry for respect after his false co-sleeping claim humiliated her. His screams and accusations, much like your sister-in-law’s oversteps, reveal how trust can crumble under parenting pressure. Was she wrong to try excluding him, or was his lie too far? How would you handle a partner’s damaging accusation? Drop your thoughts below and let’s dive into this postpartum drama!

Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *