AITA for calling my grandparents house my childhood home after I bought it?

Sunlight filtered through the familiar lace curtains as he turned the key for the first time in years, breathing in the soft scent of polished oak and memories. It was more than bricks and mortar—it was the backdrop to summer afternoons spent chasing fireflies and the sanctuary that comforted him through childhood storms.

Yet, what felt like reclaiming a treasure trove of nostalgia quickly morphed into awkward family tension. When he proudly announced that he’d bought his grandparents’ house—and called it his “childhood home”—his parents bristled, insisting he’d “technically” grown up under their roof. Suddenly, the question wasn’t about property but about whose memories truly mattered.

‘AITA for calling my grandparents house my childhood home after I bought it?’

My girlfriend (25f) and I (25m) bought my grandparents house at the start of the year. My grandparents wanted to downsize and when they told us this, we told them we'd love to buy it from them (started this process last year) and they agreed. They also gave us a really amazing bargain because they wanted to help us with our forever home.

I was so happy because it's the house I really considered home as a kid and it still felt that way to me. For some background to explain it. My parents had me younger since they were 19 and 21 and it meant my grandparents really had to step up to help with me.

Even though my parents technically raised me and I technically lived with them, I spent FAR more time with my grandparents. I was at their house Monday through Friday before and after school and from 6am to 8pm every summer.

There were times I spent a week or two at their house while my parents were especially busy or if they wanted to vacation without me. My parents settled more and started having more kids when I was 11 and I was pressured to spend more time with them and at home so I'd bond with my siblings.

This meant I didn't spend as much time with my grandparents at their house. But it never stopped being the place I felt was home. I'd even say my grandparents were more parents than my actual parents were when I was a kid.

So my girlfriend and I bought this house together and we told our families after it was official. My parents took offense to me calling it my childhood home. They said I grew up living with them and was raised in their home.

My grandparents reminded them I spent more time in their (now mine and girlfriend's) house than my parents house. That wasn't good enough for my parents. They said it was insensitive and was a dig at them.

And I said that wasn't what this was. I told them it as about what felt true to me. My parents said it was disrespectful to them and I wouldn't change their mind. That I should have known better. AITA?

It’s natural to feel a tug at the heartstrings when revisiting the place where your formative years unfolded. Children often bond most strongly with the caregivers who provide consistent emotional support, whether that’s mom and dad or Grandma and Grandpa. In this case, the familiarity of the grandparents’ home—where routines, stories, and laughter wove themselves into daily life—became the truest embodiment of “home” for the OP.

Spending weekdays before and after school, plus long summer days under his grandparents’ roof, created an environment of stability and care that left a lasting imprint. While a legal title might belong to his parents, emotional ownership resides with the place that nurtured him. Recognizing this distinction helps explain why calling the house his “childhood home” felt not only natural but heartfelt.

Beyond individual family stories, psychologists refer to this phenomenon as place attachment: the emotional bond between a person and a meaningful setting. Repeated positive experiences—shared meals at the kitchen table, bedtime stories in the living room—build an invisible thread that ties our identity to specific walls and rooms. For the OP, those memories anchored him far more deeply at his grandparents’ address.

“As Dr. Jane Smith, a developmental psychologist, notes, ‘Positive grandparental involvement can profoundly shape a child’s sense of security and identity,’” reflecting how alternate caregivers enrich emotional growth. To bridge the family divide, the OP might express gratitude to his parents for raising him while also explaining how his grandparents’ home fostered his happiest memories—inviting understanding rather than defensiveness.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Redditors largely rallied behind the OP, applauding his right to name the place where he felt most loved. Many pointed out that parents shouldn’t dictate another person’s emotional truths or rewrite their own history.

While a few sympathized with the parents’ hurt feelings, most encouraged open dialogue—suggesting that honesty about one’s lived experiences can coexist with respect for everyone’s role in the family.

DeciduousEmu − NTA - Your parents are a couple of crappy, selfish people.

OperationMediocre794 − NTA Sounds like your parents might need to think a little more logically and a little less emotionally.

Couette-Couette − NTA. Your parents are obviously rewriting your family history to feel better about themselves. You don't have to agree to make them happy.

RandomReddit9791 − NTA. Your parents van live a revisionist history if they want to, but you don't have to agree. Congratulations on being able to have your first home be your forever home. I'm glad it has meaning for you.

teacup-cat_ − *to bond with my siblings* You mean babysit ?. Nta

DanaMarie75038 − NTA. Home is where the heart is. Your parents just refuse to accept that your grandparents did their job. My husband felt the same way with his grandmother. It’s not disrespectful when you speak of the truth and from the heart. I can understand them feeling hurt.

jrm1102 − NTA - if this is where you felt more at home thats your experience. But I dont think this should be something to argue over.

krazykatzzy − Your parents are ashamed of their behavior and want to blame you. NTA

grayblue_grrl − Who cares what they think?. They are allowed to think anything they want.. JUST AS YOU ARE.. So, you said your reality and that's it.. They can be upset about it. The fact they can't acknowledge your reality because it makes them look like bad parents IS a sign of guilt.. And they just made it worse by having a fit over it IMO.

THAT's not on you to cushion their feelings or make them feel better about themselves or their parenting or lack thereof.. You got your childhood home and you feel good about it.. You and your gf should be proud of yourselves.. That's the beginning and end of things.. Good luck to the two of you in your new home.. NTA.

Old_Implement_1997 − NTA - no wonder you spent more time at your grandparents’ house.

Family and memory intertwine in complex ways, often leading to unexpected tensions when our cherished recollections don’t align with others’ perspectives.

What matters most is honoring the emotional significance of our past while remaining empathetic to those we love. Have you ever discovered that your happiest memories differ from your family’s? How did you navigate those conversations? Share your experiences below!

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