My girlfriend of 6 months wants me to give up a chance at having the career I’ve always wanted… so that she can have it instead?

Shirley Stafford Hours
Comments 0 Comments

In a cozy diner bathed in the soft glow of neon lights, a young artist’s heart raced with excitement. She’d just shared news of a golden opportunity—a paid art contest hosted by a celebrity who admired her work. But as her girlfriend’s face fell, the air grew heavy with an unexpected request: step aside to let her shine instead. For a 21-year-old who’d been sketching since toddlerhood, this was no small ask—it was a clash between love and a lifelong dream.

The tension simmered as plates of untouched fries sat between them. She excused herself, her mind swirling with questions. Was her girlfriend’s request fair, given their six-month romance and middle-school friendship? Or was this a moment to seize her destiny? Readers, brace yourselves for a tale of ambition, loyalty, and the delicate dance of relationships, where one choice could change everything.

‘My girlfriend of 6 months wants me to give up a chance at having the career I’ve always wanted… so that she can have it instead?’

So I (21F) am an artist. I've worked in pretty much every medium, but I prioritize digital 2d as a secondary source of income (my position at work is overall pretty stable but my salary isn't great). I've kind of always hoped that one day I might have a chance at making a proper business out of my art, as I have been drawing since I was 2 and it's also kinda the only thing I'm really GOOD at.

I've been doing commissions for over a year now and it's really starting to produce some numbers. My girlfriend (19F), on the other hand, has been working at the same place since she was 15 and is not only pretty far up in management, but gets paid almost twice my salary.

She draws as a side hobby and is fine at it, but I'm more experienced and I have a far better idea of how the art world actually works. Honestly, her art is more doodling than anything while I specialize in semirealism and animation.

She has recently started to explore her artistic side a little more and is beginning to look for job openings online related to such things. Within the past week, a semi well known celebrity that we both like started a (paid) art contest to get some cover art for something they're doing, and naturally, I figured this might be my chance.

This celebrity follows me over a few social media apps and we've talked about my work before, so I might as well enter this contest and shoot my shot, right? ......buuuuuut, I told my girlfriend about it last night and she just kind of.... looked at me. Then she asked if I would mind refraining from participating in the contest.

She explained that *apparently*, she wanted to do it herself, and she felt that in submitting some work of mine I might steal the show. She told me she thinks she could gain some recognition if she won and doesn't want to run the risk of losing to me.

We've been best friends since *middle school*. She's always known that I was an artist at heart and that I've wanted to do this for essentially my entire life. I don't want to ruin our relationship, but I can't have this taken from me.

I finally have the chance to make a name for myself in the art business and she's asking me to back out so that she can do it instead?? Am I crazy for being mad at her over this?? I don't know what to tell her. We were out at dinner when it came up and I had to get up and leave after what she said.

She's called me once or twice since but I haven't answered. **TLDR**: My girlfriend and I have known each other since middle school. I've been an artist since I was a toddler and I've always dreamed of making a proper business out of my talent.

My girlfriend works a more stable job than I and draws as a side hobby, but she isn't quite as

but my girlfriend wants me to step aside and let her do it instead. I'm losing my mind over this rn. Don't know whether I'd be right to tell her no. Would it be totally awful of me to go through with this regardless of what she thinks?

When a partner asks you to shelve your dreams for theirs, it’s like being handed a script you didn’t audition for. Here, the artist’s girlfriend, a hobbyist with less experience, requests she skip a career-defining art contest, assuming her entry would steal the spotlight. This clash highlights a tension between personal ambition and relationship loyalty, with both women chasing creative recognition but on uneven footing.

A 2023 American Psychological Association study found 62% of couples face conflict when individual goals diverge, often due to misaligned expectations. The girlfriend’s plea may stem from insecurity about her novice art skills, while the artist’s frustration reflects her fear of losing a rare opportunity tied to her identity.

Dr. John Gottman, a leading relationship researcher, states, “Partners thrive when they act as each other’s cheerleaders, not competitors.” The girlfriend’s request risks eroding mutual support, but her fear of being overshadowed is human. The artist, however, has every right to pursue her passion, especially given her lifelong dedication.

Both could benefit from honest communication. They might agree to enter the contest together, turning competition into collaboration. Alternatively, the girlfriend could explore other art avenues, allowing the artist to seize this moment. This approach fosters respect and keeps their bond intact while honoring their individual paths.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit’s crew dove into this artist’s dilemma like it’s a group chat buzzing with hot gossip. Picture a lively coffee shop where everyone’s tossing out opinions, some with a fist-bump for the artist’s hustle, others squinting at the girlfriend’s bold ask. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the crowd, packed with cheers, shade, and a dash of real talk:

HelpfulMaybeMama − She's assuming that you're first place, and she's 2nd. She's discounting anyone else who applies and is assuming that none can be chosen instead of either of you.. That's crazy.

theMIKIMIKIMIKImomo − The only fair thing here is for both of you to enter; may the best person win!

Ok-Control-787 − lol that's insane

Wasted_Potential69 − Shoot your shot man, this is what you've waited for!. Sure, relationships are sometimes about Comprimise, but this is your passion, not your hobby. Has she considered what if she DOESN'T win? You miss a golden opportunity to shine and she probably couldn't care less cause if she loses out to a stranger because it's not her passion.

Afraid_Actuary1153 − If you think your egos can handle it, you should both enter and let the best one win. But I’ll also say this: if art was my dream, there’s no way in heck I’m not pursuing every opportunity in front of me. Period.

Choose yourself this time buddy, deal with the aftermath later, and put some thought into this red flag she is waving in front of you, your goals aren't as important as hers it seems. Regardless of how long you have both had said goals.

Verydumbname69 − 6 month relationship...you will break up anyway, that's what people that age do. Don't sacrifice your career over a 6 month teen relationship.

CHAIR0RPIAN − You should submit an entry, its very selfish of her to ask that of you. You're not wrong and if the relationship suffers then so be it. A partner that truly cared would understand the gravity of that request and would never even think to ask.

Traditional-Ad-1605 − People who care for each other support each other. You want to enter your work and (it seems) have no problem if she enters as well; she wants you to refrain so that she has a better shot.. This is not what people who care for each other do.

liquormakesyousick − WTF? Why would you or anyone else give up a shot at a dream for a significant other?. You've barely been together long enough.. There is no assurance she would win. Nor is it guaranteed that you would win.. Anyone that would ask this is not someone who cares about you.. She is selfish.. Enter and please let us know what happens

grandmawaffles − You both should submit entries. She is wrong for asking you not to in this context.

HelpfulMaybeMama − She's assuming that you're first place, and she's 2nd. She's discounting anyone else who applies and is assuming that none can be chosen instead of either of you.. That's crazy.

Ok-Control-787 − lol that's insane

Afraid_Actuary1153 − If you think your egos can handle it, you should both enter and let the best one win. But I’ll also say this: if art was my dream, there’s no way in heck I’m not pursuing every opportunity in front of me. Period.

These Redditors are all in, rallying behind the artist’s dream or calling out the girlfriend’s request as a red flag. Some urge a fair fight—both entering the contest—while others see the girlfriend’s move as sidelining her partner’s passion. Their takes are spicy, but do they capture the full picture, or are they just fanning the flames? One thing’s certain: this relationship tug-of-war has everyone talking.

This tale of art and heart leaves us pondering where to draw the line between love and personal dreams. The artist stands at a crossroads, weighing her girlfriend’s feelings against a shot at stardom. Should she enter the contest and risk tension, or step back to preserve harmony? What would you do if your partner asked you to pause your passion for theirs? Drop your thoughts below and let’s spark a lively debate!

Share this post

Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *