AITA for refusing to to let my husband’s infertile friend name our son?

The arrival of a newborn brings a wave of excitement and anticipation—selecting the perfect name feels like the first big gift you give your child. Imagine the gentle glow of dawn filtering through a nursery window as two proud parents pore over name lists, hearts brimming with hope. For many, this intimate decision is shared only between the expecting couple.

Yet when a close family friend steps in—armed with handcrafted gifts, emotional entreaties, and even a ready‑made name—it can turn that peaceful moment into a battleground of feelings. Our OP found herself caught between her husband’s well‑meaning friend and her own right to choose, setting the stage for a clash that tested love, loyalty, and the very definition of “family.”

‘AITA for refusing to to let my husband’s infertile friend name our son?’

My husband (m33)s best friend (m37) Will is infertile. He got divorced 2 times because of it and because he lied and hid his infertility. And his life hasn't been the same the day he was told he can't have kids. He has always had a soft spot for children and when he found out that my husband and I are expecting, he was so thrilled and started buying us gifts and decore pieces that he made from his woodwork for the baby.

My husband thinks that those are all nice gestures but I couldn't help but feel uncomfortable especially with how much he keeps mentioing the baby. A few days ago, my husband and I found the gender of the baby. The minute we told Will, he started calling the baby a random name he picked and was going to give to his baby if he wasn't infertile.

He then started begging us to use this name and my husband said it was a

I flipped and said it's my baby not his. Will heard this and left immediately. My husband yelled at me saying it's his baby too and my behavior towards Will was abhorant. He left after him and didn't come back til the morning. He kept saying the same thing and pressuring me to agree on the name but I refused.. AITA for choosing this hill to die on?

Choosing a name for a child is one of parenting’s first meaningful acts—it shapes identity, reflects family traditions, and can carry emotional significance far beyond the nursery. While it’s natural for friends and relatives to feel invested—especially when they’ve shared in the excitement—ultimately the right to decide belongs to the parents alone. Clear, mutual boundaries help ensure that well‑meaning suggestions don’t turn into undue pressure.

A name can evoke personal history (honoring a beloved relative), cultural heritage, or simply the parents’ creative vision. Experts note that when external parties become too involved, couples risk losing the intimacy of this decision. Relationship counselors often recommend that partners agree on a “no‑input” zone until they present a united front—keeping initial discussions private fosters trust and prevents feelings of betrayal.

From a psychological standpoint, collaborative decision‑making strengthens a couple’s bond, but only when both voices carry equal weight. Research shows that couples who set clear, respectful guidelines about family involvement report higher satisfaction with their naming choice and fewer resentments later on. Gratitude for support can coexist with firm ownership of the final decision.

In practice, a simple protocol works wonders: thank friends for their enthusiasm, welcome their ideas, then remind everyone that naming is a parents‑only privilege. By honoring both the friend’s feelings and the couple’s autonomy, families can celebrate together without compromising the joy of choosing the perfect name.

Take a look at the comments from fellow users:

Here are some hot takes from the Reddit community—candid and humorous:

AmIDoingThisRight14 − NTA. Is your husband also building his friend an art room in your house?. ETA: thanks for the awards! And for those who have no idea what I'm referring to here is a link to the BORU since the original was deleted. Enjoy!. 

softanimalofyourbody − NTA and since this is AITA I’m assuming your husband is in love with Will and they plan to run off together with your child. please update 🙏🏻

squirreltrap − NTA mom and dad have rights to name the baby. Nobody else. Mom doesn’t like a name? Doesn’t get included in the list of potential names. Dad doesn’t like a name? Doesn’t get included in the list of potential names.. Why is your husband picking a friend over his wife? That should be your concern here. Also your husband is TA- his friend needs therapy, not to pick baby names “for closure”. Your husband is actually a bad friend for entertaining this.

gleaming-the-cubicle −

sunfries − Kinda sounds like youre the incubator for husbands/wills kid. NTA this is terrible

KingPiscesFish − “Small thing” to do? **You are the one pregnant with this child, IT IS YOUR BABY!** Who the hell says that for NAMING a whole human being? Why is your husband letting Will be like a “second dad” to his own kid? Unless the name is after a family member perhaps, there shouldn’t be a third person outside the couple when naming a kid. When naming a kid- both parents (JUST THE PARENTS) should agree on a name.

It does not matter if Will is infertile or fertile. I’d honestly consider rethinking this marriage- it sounds like there are three people in this marriage by the way your husband is with Will. Joking kind of, but holy crap this is another level. *The fact your husband is prioritizing his friend over you, his wife, is so concerning.*. **NTA in the slightest bit.**. Edited because I misread something

saintphoenixxx − NTA.. Will is creepy as f**k and 100% will try to steal your baby.

Legitimate-Meal-2290 − NTA, this is a hill to die on. If Will's feelings are that much more important than yours to your husband, they can make their relationship official, adopt a baby and use the name.

LCJ75 − Will did not get divorced 2x because he is infertile. He got divorced because he lied about it. His moral compass is concerning and this is another example. He needs therapy.. NTA

kaleidoscope_view − Next thing you know your husband might start building an art studio for this guy in your house. EDIT ... Call me petty, but the fact that the top comment on this with almost 40k likes was posted after my already derived joke, irks me for some stupid reason. My lizard brain is REEEE-ing

These snapshots reflect the common wisdom: naming is a parents‑only privilege.

Naming a child is one of parenting’s first joint decisions—and it should unite rather than divide. How would you handle a friend’s heartfelt but overreaching request? Would you stand firm, seek compromise, or find another creative solution? Share your thoughts and stories below—we’d love to hear how you’d navigate this delicate balance!

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