Am I wrong for putting peanuts in my food and not putting an allergen label on it, knowing that the food thief is allergic?

A workplace lunch theft turned perilous when a new hire with a peanut allergy ate a Muslim woman’s unlabeled peanut-containing meal, sparking a heated confrontation and office-wide backlash. Caught between her frustration over stolen Halal food and accusations of endangering a colleague, she’s left questioning her responsibility.

This isn’t just about a missing lunch; it’s a clash over respect and accountability. The story pulls us into an office fridge drama where theft meets consequences, raising questions about workplace fairness.

‘Am I wrong for putting peanuts in my food and not putting an allergen label on it, knowing that the food thief is allergic?’

A stolen lunch escalating to an allergic reaction highlights a breakdown in workplace respect. The woman’s frustration is justified: her Halal meals, hard to replace due to dietary restrictions, were repeatedly stolen, likely by Omar, who targeted her food knowing it was safe for his Muslim diet. Her failure to label peanuts wasn’t malicious—nobody else in the office uses allergen labels—but Omar’s theft put him at risk, not her actions. His accusation that she “tried to kill him” deflects his own wrongdoing.

Workplace theft erodes trust: a 2020 Journal of Occupational Health Psychology study found 30% of employees report stolen personal items, often food, leading to conflict. Omar’s peanut allergy doesn’t excuse stealing, especially given its life-threatening nature. Organizational psychologist Dr. Amy Edmondson says, “Clear workplace norms, like respecting personal property, prevent escalations like this”.

She should use a lockable lunch bag and store it separately to deter theft, while HR’s new labeling rule addresses the symptom, not the cause—Omar’s behavior. An apology for the scare, without admitting fault, might ease office tension, but Omar owes her accountability. The office’s blame misplacement reflects a failure to address the root issue: theft.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit strongly supported the woman, declaring her NTA and slamming Omar for stealing her food, especially given his deadly peanut allergy. They called his accusations absurd, emphasizing that he endangered himself by taking her unlabeled meal, and criticized the office for blaming her instead of disciplining him.

Many suggested adding peanuts or labels strategically to deter future theft, while others urged her to use a private cooler or escalate the issue to HR for Omar’s repeated violations. The consensus was clear: thieves face consequences, not victims.

This wasn’t just about a stolen lunch—it was about a thief dodging accountability while blaming his victim. The woman’s unlabeled peanuts sparked a scare, but Omar’s actions put him in danger, not her negligence.

As she navigates office backlash, it’s a reminder that respect begins with owning your choices. How do you handle workplace violations? Share your story—what’s your approach to protecting your space?