Am I wrong to telling the girl I cheated on that I’m doing good in life?

A wedding’s soft glow, clinking glasses, and laughter set the stage for an unexpected reunion. Eight years ago, a young man’s betrayal shattered Sarah’s trust, leaving scars that linger. Now, at a friend’s celebration, he stands face-to-face with her, his past mistakes heavy in the air. His apology seems to mend old wounds—until a candid life update reopens them.

What happens when honesty feels like a jab? His joy as a married father clashes with Sarah’s struggles, sparking a debate about tact and timing. Readers are drawn into this delicate dance of guilt and redemption, wondering how words can heal or harm.

‘Am I wrong to telling the girl I cheated on that I’m doing good in life?’

I am a 26 year old man, and when I was 18 I cheated on my girlfriend of two years, Sarah. I had been cheating on her for four months before leaving her for the other girl. I know I was a complete a**hole for doing that, and I still feel awful. About seven months after I left Sarah, the girl I left her for left me for another man.

Karma always wins in the end. After that I got some much needed therapy and worked on myself immensely. When I was 21 I met a girl named Andrea. She was the most breath taking woman I had ever seen. I was lucky enough for her to accept to go on a date with me.

I told her about my past after the second date, and she was willing enough to give me a chance. Me and her got married two years ago (which was the best day of my life) and I can not be happier. We also have a one year old son who I very much love.

I am very happy with the little family me and her have made and I couldn’t ask for a better life. The problem is that two weeks ago I was invited to a friends wedding. Me and Sarah were apart of the same friend group, and most of our friends chose her after a break up (understandably) but this guy and I became close again two years after.

So at the wedding, I obviously saw Sarah. During the reception, me and her bumped into each other (my wife was at home with our son sadly). When I saw her I apologized for what happened eight years ago and she said that it was all in the past.

She asked me how life has treated me and I told her the truth, that I was married, had a son, and I was at the happiest point in my life so far. When I asked her how she was, she kept her response brief. We didn’t talk again after that,

but a few days later, once I was already back home, one of her friends (who has hated me since the day I left Sarah) messaged me on Instagram and told me how it was disgusting of me to be bragging about how well my life was going when hers was going badly. Apparently after our breakup, Sarah hasn’t been able to hold down a relationship because she has severe trust issues now.

And I feel really guilty for causing that, but I don’t feel like I was wrong for being honest about my life. I mean, I wish I could change the past, but I can’t. I asked my wife about this and she said that Sarah needs major therapy, which I kind of agree with. But maybe I was in the wrong and should’ve lied and said my life was terrible.

Reunions with exes are like stepping onto a tightrope—one wrong move can tip the balance. The man’s apology to Sarah was a nod to accountability, but his glowing life update landed like a punch to an old bruise. His honesty, while genuine, clashed with her lingering pain.

A 2023 study by the American Psychological Association shows 30% of people face trust issues after relationship betrayals (apa.org). Sarah’s curt reply at the wedding hints at walls built from past hurt, a common response to prolonged infidelity in Family Psychology. Her guardedness reflects a broader struggle many face in rebuilding confidence.

Dr. John Gottman, a leading relationship researcher, says, “Trust is built in very small moments” (gottman). The man’s emphasis on being “happiest ever” likely stung, highlighting his joy against Sarah’s challenges. A simpler “I’m doing well” could have spared her feelings.

To navigate such moments, experts advise reading the emotional room. Acknowledge past wrongs with care and keep updates neutral to avoid reopening wounds. Sensitivity, not just honesty, paves the way for healing.

Here’s what the community had to contribute:

Reddit’s crew dove into this wedding reunion drama like it’s the juiciest gossip at a cocktail party. Picture a lively group chat where everyone’s got a spicy opinion, tossing out empathy, shade, and everything in between. Here’s the unfiltered scoop from the Reddit crowd, brimming with heart and a dash of sass:

stargal81 − Sometimes, you just can't get past what someone you loved & trusted did to you.. The axe forgets, but the tree remembers.

FillIndependent − I think a simple,

AccurateAd551 − I don't think it was wrong saying you are married with a kid but including the happiest I've ever been was tactless

earmares − Not wrong but you really didn't need to tell any ex that you were the happiest you've ever been. That's just kinda gross. Saying you're doing well and moving on to other topics would have been best.

simonetheadventurer − You are not wrong for saying you are now married and have a son. But saying you're the happiest you ever been to an ex whom you wronged lacks grace imo.

alicat777777 − “The happiest I’ve been” was too much. You didn’t need to throw that in there. Just reminding her that you weren’t happy with her. Yes, you were wrong.

nyx926 − You weren’t wrong for answering, but probably insensitive in how you answered. Her friend was wrong for messaging you and for giving you any details about Sarah’s life. Especially if Sarah didn’t give her permission to do so. Discussing Sarah needing therapy with your wife is gross. You harmed her and people who don’t know and don’t care about her should not be discussing something they know nothing about.

shamashedit − Op can't read a room.

Misommar1246 − Eh, to me you were bragging and to discuss her as a pity subject with your wonderful wife after is also AH behavior. I don’t know anything about you but maybe I think that because she was your girlfriend for 2 years, clearly not a fling and your cheating wasn’t a one time affair either, it was 4 months, so to me bragging falls in line with the character a guy must have to do that.

Of course she has major trust issues, she never cheated whereas for you at least it was recognizable when the other girl cheated on you. Just because you both got cheated on, you two are not the same.

Seductivesunspot00 − How do you know Sarah isn't getting therapy?. You are wrong for just not saying that things are good and you hope the same for her. You hurt her once but saying you were the happiest you've been to someone you did hurt is re opening a wound..

And then telling your wife and doing a pity party for her is insulting as well.. Gross all around. And I'm saddened to see people judge how cheating affected someone else. We don't know how it effected her but it did.

These Redditors aren’t holding back—some applaud the man’s growth, while others call his word choice a clumsy misstep. Sarah’s trust struggles spark sympathy, but her friend’s fiery message splits the crowd. Is this a case of tactless honesty or overblown backlash? The takes are as varied as a buffet spread, each slicing into the messy layers of guilt and accountability. One thing’s certain: this story’s got everyone talking.

This tale of a wedding chat gone awry reminds us how words carry weight, especially when tethered to past pain. The man’s story isn’t about villainy but about learning to tread lightly. What would you do in his shoes—share your joy or soften the truth? Drop your thoughts below and let’s unpack this together!

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