UPDATE – Am I wrong for sending my ex’s wife the screenshots he send me?

When tension between former partners resurfaces, even the most routine co‑parenting arrangements can feel like walking through a minefield. In today’s unexpected twist, the OP’s quiet afternoon is interrupted by a knock on the door—her ex‑wife, seeking a serious chat about visitation rights.

Stepping into the living room with determined eyes, the newcomer lays out her demand: reduce weekend visits with their daughter to just twice a month. She fears that any contact will reignite old sparks between her husband and his first wife. The OP remains calm but resolute, refusing to mediate a marriage she stepped away from years ago.

For those who want to read the previous part: Original post

‘UPDATE – Am I wrong for sending my ex’s wife the screenshots he send me?’

This is not much of an update. Rather a shocking ones. Today I got a visit from a rather unexpected guest. She is my ex's wife. It is the first time she came to my house. She said she wanted to talk and it is urgent. Basically, she told me if it is possible for me to lessen the visitation. My daughter is with her father from fri-sun.

She wanted that to be just 2 times a month. Reasons? Because she thinks my ex husband might have some feelings for me and he can't let me go entirely unless there is 0 contact. She knows because of our child it is impossible. So, she wants the visitations to be limited. She thinks I am distracting my ex husband from their marriage.

She said

And regarding the custody issues, I told her if she has an issue she should talk to her husband. I am not going to be in the middle of it. She should take it up to him if she has a problem with my daughter in her house. She tried to push this topic so that I talk to him but I didn't budge.

Sorry if this wasn't an exciting update. I may update one more time if the custody is changed or not. I mean is he really going to stop seeing his daughter because his wife doesn't like her? Is he going to really choose his wife over his daughter?

The OP’s dropped an update on the saga—curious? Click here to check it out!

Co‑parenting after divorce often involves navigating a delicate balance between maintaining boundaries and fostering an environment of mutual respect. Mental health professionals emphasize that clear, child‑focused communication is fundamental: all discussions should strictly concern scheduling, health, education, or emotional needs of the child. This focus minimizes opportunities for ex‑partners to rehash old conflicts or use the child as an emotional pawn. By adopting structured channels—whether through a dedicated co‑parenting app, email chains, or written agreements—parents can ensure transparency, documentation, and accountability in every exchange.

Another widely endorsed practice is parallel parenting. Unlike traditional co‑parenting, which assumes cooperative dialogue, parallel parenting reduces direct contact by establishing well‑defined procedures for hand‑offs, drop‑offs, and updates. Each parent operates within agreed‑upon guidelines—such as fixed visitation calendars, emergency protocols, and designated communication windows—thereby limiting friction. This method not only protects each parent’s emotional well‑being but also provides the child with a predictable, stable routine, which is especially important when one partner exhibits controlling or manipulative behavior.

Finally, experts recommend formalizing any modifications to custody or visitation through legal channels. Consulting a family law attorney or mediator can help translate verbal agreements into enforceable orders, reducing ambiguity and protecting both parents’ rights. Research consistently shows that children thrive when parental conflict is minimized and their schedules remain consistent across households. Ultimately, by leveraging professional guidance, structured tools, and legal safeguards, divorced parents can create a healthier, more predictable environment that prioritizes their child’s emotional stability and long‑term well‑being.

These are the responses from Reddit users:

Here are some hot takes from the Reddit community—candid and humorous:

NotSorry2019 − That Affair Partner is a really horrible person. I’m sorry you have to deal with her. Next time have her trespassed off of your property/call the police on her. I can’t wait for her to end up miserable and alone because one of them will be cheating on the other soon. Hugs!

lowkeyhobi − She wants to keep his child away from him, so he stays faithful to her? What a l**atic!

Corfiz74 − You know there are co-parenting apps that divorced parents can use to exchange information about the child - they can be used in court and it's impossible to delete anything from them. I would get the family court to order you to use one of these apps for all communication with your ex, so that you can block him on all other communication channels.

You can even change your phone number and not give him the new one  just have everything run via the app. I think it would be really good for you not to see any more of his social media posts, and not give him any way to contact you in a private way  on the app, everything is official, and should only be about your child. Block him, block her, live your life and forget about them, except when dropping off or picking up your kid.

nyx926 − Ironically, it’s better for your daughter if he goes away completely than spends more time in that household with those two people.. It’s telling that she feels more comfortable coming to you than going to him.

Responsible_Movie_14 − Let the man know his (current)wife hates his daughter and wants her gone.. See how happy he is after that.

huskyghost − My dad chose his new wife over me I'm 34 now. Still don't talk to him. He will die soon. He tried to reach out a few times but it's just too late. I'm an old man now and I have no need of a dying man's problems.

GnomesinBlankets − “You already had a life with him and it failed.”. Yes, and as I’m aware you were a part of the reason it failed :). “Please let me have a life with him”. With a cheater? Girl, do you. The absolute audacity to be insecure about the woman who’s marriage you helped destroy

McNuggeteer − I love how she basically said

SnooWords4839 − After you sent her his texts, she now wants him to have less time with his daughter?. What a d**bass, those 2 deserve one another. Your ex has found out that the grass isn't greener on the other side and AP doesn't have ex's full attention.

charleechuck − Just to get this straight she want her husband (your ex) to reduce his visitaion

These are popular opinions on Reddit, but do they really reflect reality?

While ex‑spouses may long for closure or even reconciliation, the child’s well‑being must remain front and center. Setting boundaries isn’t just a defensive tactic—it’s a cornerstone of responsible co‑parenting. What would you do if an ex‑spouse’s new partner tried to limit your time with your child? Share your experiences and thoughts below!

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