Am I (18F) wrong for speaking Japanese when guys try talking to me?

Picture a bustling college campus, where the air buzzes with chatter and the scent of coffee lingers. An 18-year-old woman, pale with strikingly thick black hair, navigates the crowd, her mind on her boyfriend and her studies. But then, an unwanted suitor approaches, oblivious to her disinterest. With a sly smile, she unleashes a stream of flawless Japanese, her words dancing like a foreign melody, leaving the guy baffled and retreating. It’s her shield, her secret weapon.

This Reddit tale captures a young woman’s witty defense against persistent flirtation, using her bilingual skills to carve out personal space. For a teen who cherishes her relationship, it’s a gentler alternative to blunt rejection—yet some call it rude. Her story pulls readers into a lively debate about boundaries, safety, and the art of dodging unwanted attention with a linguistic twist.

‘Am I (18F) wrong for speaking Japanese when guys try talking to me?’

I’m white/Japanese (I look completely white, the only Asian features I have are being pale with black hair, except my hair is extremely thick). Because I have no Asian features, people don’t expect me to know Japanese, but I learned it from my mom. I’m in the US so my main language is obviously English, but because my mom taught me when I was little, I can speak Japanese with zero English accent.

I have a boyfriend so I HATE anyone trying to ask me out or get between us. I’ve started just talking in Japanese and acting extremely confused so that they s**ew off. I’ve had a couple people tell me it’s rude, but realistically it’s a lot more polite than I want to be

This teen’s linguistic dodge is a creative response to a common dilemma: navigating unwanted attention while prioritizing safety. By speaking Japanese, she sidesteps confrontation, using her white-passing appearance to amplify the confusion. Her approach reflects a calculated choice to protect her emotional space, though critics label it impolite, highlighting a tension between social norms and personal autonomy.

Unwanted advances are a widespread issue. A 2018 Pew Research Center study found that 59% of women aged 18–29 report experiencing street harassment, often feeling unsafe or pressured. This context frames the teen’s tactic as a survival tool, prioritizing de-escalation over etiquette.

Psychologist Dr. Sherry Hamby, an expert on interpersonal violence, notes, “Young women often develop indirect strategies to avoid conflict, as direct rejection can escalate situations.” The teen’s use of Japanese aligns with this, creating a language barrier that safely disengages. It’s less about deceit and more about self-preservation in a world where rejection can carry risks.

For those facing similar situations, experts suggest clear but non-confrontational phrases, like “I’m not interested, thanks,” paired with confident body language. Practicing such responses can build confidence. The teen’s method works for her, but she might prepare for scenarios where someone calls her bluff, perhaps with a polite exit line. Her story underscores the need for societal shifts toward respecting boundaries, reducing the need for such tactics.

Heres what people had to say to OP:

Reddit’s crowd jumped into this linguistic escapade with enthusiasm, dishing out a vibrant mix of cheers and chuckles. It’s like a lively group chat where everyone’s got a story or a quip, from fist-bumps for the teen’s ingenuity to playful jabs at her critics. Here’s the raw, unfiltered scoop from the community, brimming with support and a sprinkle of sass:

Cool_Relative7359 − I do the same with Arabic. I'm completely pale, blue eyed and all and in a 90% Slavic country now. But I was born and raised in Egypt so I'm fluent. Confuses the heck out of them, gets me out of interactions I don't want to be in.. Also works on bus conducters and annoying old ladies.

annachachki − No. It’s funny, an easy way to reject someone, and you don’t really owe people approaching you anything.

IceBlue − Next time someone tells you it’s rude, say “good, that’s what I’m going for”

MuntjackDrowning − Baby, I’m white passing 41F 1.2 Chinese, I’ve been pretending to not speak English since i was 4. I’ll never stop because…people are dicks. YOU ARE NOT WRONG

Positive_Ad_6490 − I don't think you are wrong. Rejecting people can be dangerous and this just puts them in a position of thinking you can't communicate with each other.. If other people don't like it oh well ... They can continue rejecting people their way and you yours.. You might get caught one of these days so be prepared to get called out

[Reddit User] − What you're doing is kinder than just telling them to F off so keep doing it.

[Reddit User] − Nah it's a clever way to reject men. You're a young woman and men will bother you. It's not always easy to escape the situation just by telling them you have a boyfriend.

[Reddit User] − They say it's rude to speak another language towards people who are giving you unwanted attention? Why? Wouldn't you getting unwanted attention be ruder? You could be doing a lot worse than speaking another language to dissuade then from flirting with you further.

smarmy-marmoset − Nah I do the same thing but with Italian

TheHomieData − LOL that ain’t rude that’s f**king hilarious.

These Redditors are all in, applauding the teen’s cleverness or shrugging off claims of rudeness. Some share their own tales of dodging creeps with foreign tongues, while others see her tactic as a masterclass in low-key rejection. But do these spirited takes capture the whole picture, or are they just reveling in the cheeky drama? One thing’s clear—this young woman’s language gambit has the internet buzzing.

This story of a teen wielding Japanese to fend off unwanted suitors is a sparkling mix of wit and defiance. It’s less about right or wrong and more about carving out safety in a world that doesn’t always respect boundaries. By leaning on her bilingual roots, she’s found a way to stay true to herself and her relationship. Have you ever used a clever trick to dodge an uncomfortable situation? Share your experiences below!

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